The Art of Brewing
by note-a-flat
Summary: AU: After the war Hermione returns to Hogwarts to finish school. She is plagued by nightmares and has trouble sleeping, so she takes to secretly brewing at night. Snape finds her and offers to give her extra classes, during which the pair slowly but surly starts growing closer. SSHG (Rating may change later)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey, this is my first fanfic, but I've written original stuff before. English isn't my first language, so if you see any mistakes I overlooked, please let me know. Feel free to give criticism, it's appreciated! I really hope you enjoy this, I'll try and update as often as I can. Let me know what you think! :) xxx**

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Hermione couldn't sleep. Not only tonight, but not ever. Since the war, nightmares haunted her at intervals so regular she could have set her clock to them. Yet they had her so utterly terrified, that she found herself trembling when she was on the verge of falling asleep, simply because she was afraid of whatever nightmare's turn it was to invade her mind that day. Thus it was no surprise that she found herself pacing in her private quarters at Hogwarts once again.

When McGonagall first told her, that she was going to have her own chambers upon returning to the school she had made a fuss about how she didn't want to be treated different than anyone else. Now she was glad that the Headmistress hadn't listened to her. She was here to finish her studies, to everyone's surprise, seeing that the rest of the Golden Trio had already started their training at the ministry to become professional aurors and most had expected to do the same.

Harry didn't want to return to Hogwarts straight away, because the memories of those people they had lost were still too fresh in mind for him. Hermione found it sad that the first place he had ever considered a home had been dirtied by those memories. It also made her angry that he allowed Voldemort to affect his happiness, even after the Dark Lord had been defeated once and for all, because she knew how much he yearned to return to the castle. As for Ron… well first of all he was only glad to avoid the pressure of actually sitting his N.E.W.T.'s , secondly he didn't want to walk past the spot where his brother left his life on a daily basis, something Hermione found to be at least kind of reasonable and then there was their relationship that was currently in a hiatus after a heated argument just before she returned to Hogwarts. Apparently it was enough of a reason for him not to want to be around her.

She sighed when she thought about said argument and pushed her curls out of her face. She didn't even want to think about it.

There was not much else to think about though, as she found herself unable to study day and night like she used to considering the constant exhaustion that came from insomnia.

It wasn't like she hadn't tried to sleep. One of her reasons for coming back to Hogwarts was the idea of facing some of her worse nightmares. It hadn't really worked, but at least it hadn't made them worse either. She had tried Dreamless Sleep Potion, but after only two nights she started to become immune to it and the side effects of the potion only made her dreams become more twisted.

She checked the time and sighed. 3:31 in the morning. And nothing to do.

Remembering the few times she had brewed the Sleeping Potion for herself a thought suddenly popped into her mind. Brewing had had a strange calming effect on her, and seeing that for once in her life, she couldn't find it in her to concentrate on a book as means of distraction she might as well give it a go.

The tiniest of smiles crossed her face when she thought of Ron and Harry's faces should they ever find out that instead of sneaking into the library at night she was going to the potions lab. Surprisingly she found there were only minimal wards on the classroom and she wondered if Snape had become sluggish. After all, surviving a snakebite hadn't changed him all that much.

With mage lights hovering over her she started to gather the ingredients needed for a simple healing draught. It was just difficult enough to keep her hands and mind occupied in her sleep deprived state.

She felt herself relax slowly as she chopped the ingredients with almost too much care. Twenty minutes later she started to add them to the iron cauldron in front of her. An expression of satisfaction unconsciously spread across her face as the mixture started bubbling.

**oxoxoxoxo**

She was so caught up in her work that she didn't notice the dark presence by the door of the potions lab. Severus Snape had been in the habit of brewing by night for years and never once had someone dared to occupy his laboratory at that time. Not that anyone ever used it outside of class anyway. Not until now, that was.

The wards had been so minimalistic because he needed to consult one of his more valuable books for the potion he was about to prepare. As he had placed a charm on said book so it couldn't just be conjured he had to go back to his chambers. It annoyed him that he actually had to check a book to brew a potion, but he wasn't going to chance a potion going wrong in the middle of the night. Or ever, for that matter. Thus he was surprised that his annoyance didn't increase upon finding his lab occupied by none other than Hermione Granger.

He remembered seeing her brew a Sleeping Draught and presumed that she had come down here to make some more to help her insomnia. Of course he was aware of her problem. The symptoms were only too obvious to him, as he had suffered from the same problem for years. He had already begun contemplating how to stop the witch from ingesting any more of the highly addictive potion when he noticed how she relaxed and watched in awe as her face grew as peaceful as it hadn't been in weeks.

Just then his nostrils flared as the unmistakable smell of a simple healing potion wafted to where he was standing. His frown that long since had become chronic, deepened. Could it be…? Was it possible that the Gryffindor know-it-all was brewing for pleasure? He had noticed her to be unusually quiet in class recently, always intent on getting her potions right and not being distracted by anyone. Could it be that she was actually enjoying brewing? Did it have the same calming effect on her as it did on him?

Refusing to indulge in such disturbing thoughts, he decided to not disrupt her, but ventured of to an old potions laboratory that he used when he grew sick of the sight of his classroom.

**oxoxoxoxo**

As the days flew past Hermione fell into the habit of brewing some potion every night before she felt calm enough to try and get a few hours of rest.

She had noticed Ginny's glare during the meals, as her friend looked more exhausted every day. It went so far that McGonnegal ordered her to the headmistresses office to enquire if she was alright. From that day on she had taken to charm the rings under her eyes, hoping that they wouldn't be as obvious.

Snape had also been constantly watching her, not only during the day but also at night. Much to his own disliking he found himself to worry more about her each day, and wondered how it was that he suddenly cared so much for the little know-it-all.


	2. Chapter 2

It was a Friday evening and Hermione had decided to brew some blood replenishing potion. She was silently humming to herself while carefully crushing her ingredients.

Suddenly she heard a rustling of clothes. She raised her eyes and met the midnight gaze of no other than Professor Snape. The Potions Master wore an emotionless mask. She felt the blood drain from her face, frantically thinking of an explanation for her presence.

Thankfully the professor spoke first.

"Miss Granger, I do believe your collection of medical potions is growing bigger than the one Madame Pomfrey keeps in the Hospital Wing. Pray tell, what would you do with all those potions? Are you planning on becoming a healer, so you can be a little heroine every day?"

His voice was dripping with sarcasm, his lips pulled up in a sneer.

"I…I…No, professor.", she stammered.

"No what, Miss Granger?"

"No, I do not plan on becoming a healer. If you must know I do not plan on becoming anything at the moment."

"So do tell me, why did you decide to brew healing potions down here, every night?"

Hermione blushed, yet raised her chin.

"And why does it make a difference to you, sir? Just give me detention if you must and I can return to my room."

"Mind your tongue, Miss Granger.", he snarled. "I do not intend on giving you detention if you must know. Would you be so kind as to answer my question now?"

She frowned and looked at him confused.

"I brew because I can't sleep. It calms me.", she murmured eventually blushing even more. She stared at her feet awaiting the verbal lashing that never came. After a few minutes she finally raised her head, to find Snape intently staring at her.

Slowly he took a step toward her and inspected her prepared ingredients.

"Blood replenishing potion. Since you have prepared these ingredients you might as well finish the potion."

She looked at him in surprise.

He sighed in exasperation when she didn't move. "Do continue your work, Miss Granger. I do not bite and you have no reason to be afraid. There will be no punishment, if that is what you are worried about."

Her eyes widened, but she nodded and finally continued her potion.

She soon grew accustomed to his unreadable gaze on her and started to ignore it for the most part while she worked.

Surprised she lifted her head from the cauldron as she heard a shuffling of feet on the floor. She felt even more surprised when she watched Snape walk up behind her. Warmth was radiating off his body and it took all her will to suppress a shiver.

She was still stirring her potion in a clockwise motion just like the instruction read when his hand slowly closed on top of hers. It was the one that was holding the ladle. He directed her with some pressure on her fingers to stir more slowly.

"Take your time Miss Granger. This potion is in no hurry and I believe neither are you, considering you do not sleep that much."

Hermione nodded and didn't even realise that he knew about her insomnia. She was too captivated by the feeling of his soft, yet firm grip on her hand and his breath on her neck. Professor Snape never touched anyone and here she was, enjoying the contact of her potions professor.

Eventually he let go of her hand and she had to stop herself from sighing in disappointment. Instead she finished her potion all the while he never moved from his spot right behind her.

When she finally filled the potion into a phial the professor pulled a parchment and quill out of thin air. Seconds later a label reading '_Blood Replenishing Potion_' in his characteristic handwriting floated over to her. She smiled in thanks and wrapped the label around the phial.

"Never leave a potion unlabelled, Miss Granger.", he rumbled next to her ear. Again she had to supress a shiver. She turned to meet her teacher's obsidian gaze.

"This is a very acceptable potion Miss Granger. Well done.", he commented , taking the phial out of her hand and holding it against the light to check the colour.

Hermione blushed furiously. Snape had never given her a compliment before. Maybe he had changed after all, she thought, stealing a quick look at him through the curtain of her hair.

Snape handed back the phial, the corner of his mouth curling upward.

"You should try and get some sleep now." His voice was soft, almost soothing. "You may use this room anytime should you feel the need to brew something. Although I would appreciate if you made sure to leave a note if there is any supply that needs to be restocked."

Hermione stared blankly at the wizard for a moment then a dazzling smile lit up her face. "Thank you so much, Professor Snape. It means a lot. And I will of course."

He gave a small nod and continued looking at her with that undecipherable gaze.

The attention soon grew too much and she cleared her throat. "I should really try and get some sleep now. Thank you again, Sir."

He motioned for her to leave. "You are welcome, Miss Granger."

She smiled and was almost out the door when he spoke again.

"Miss Granger."

She turned around, questioningly.

"Peaceful dreams."

He had chosen his words carefully and it pained him to see a shadow cross her face as she nodded and walked out the door.

** oxoxoxoxo**

Hermione fell into bed ten minutes later, curling up into a ball and shuddering under the blankets in anticipation of what was coming with the much needed sleep. She knew full well that her dreams wouldn't be by any means peaceful.

Suddenly a tingling on her skin reminded her of the Potions Master's calming touch. She couldn't help smile at the memory of him hovering behind her, watching as she completed the potion. It surprised her that she had actually found his presence soothing, but he was the first person in a long time that had managed to comfort her without making a fuss.

And with thoughts of that unlikely person watching over her she drifted off into a sleep that was more peaceful than expected.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Just to warn you, this chapter is a bit longer than the other ones, but I hope you don't mind. I'm trying to get another chapter up later today as well. Enjoy! :) xxx**

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She quietly entered the potions lab the following night, feeling relieved that she didn't have to break into it anymore. That morning she had woken from the sensation of being chased by some horrible creature or maybe wizard, but it had been a much more harmless version of what she had been expecting.

Planning on brewing an Invigoration Potion that night she was surprised to find a recipe and ingredients set out for her. She picked up the parchment which was covered in Snape's slanted writing. The heading read '_Essence of Dittany'_.

Her eyes widened considering that it was a very difficult potion. But seeing that her professor never needed a recipe she presumed it had been left for her, so she might as well give it a go.

Hermione felt herself relax as she went through the now familiar motions of preparing ingredients. Automatically she started to memorise the instructions so she wouldn't need to consult the sheet, which was now hovering in front of her, too often. More than an hour later the mixture finally changed colour with a wave of Hermione's wand, from bright yellow to the familiar shade of brown.

Just that moment she heard a shuffling and raised her head to look into a pair of obsidian eyes. Severus approached silently and peered into her cauldron. Lips pursed, he filled a glass flask with the mixture and then held it against the light.

"I thought I needed to give you something more challenging."

He looked at her and she felt her heart beat faster. Had she done something wrong? But she followed all the instructions perfectly, and to her untrained eyes the potion looked just fine.

Suddenly emotion returned to the wizard's face, his lips twisting into an almost-smile.

"It seems it wasn't challenging enough. Your brewing is of a very good standard, Miss Granger."

She blushed at the last remark, even though she felt extremely relieved. Still… where did all the compliments suddenly come from? "T…thank you, sir.", she muttered, peering down into her cauldron and cleaning it with a swift movement of her wand.

"You are welcome, Miss Granger."

Their eyes met and she blushed again. His gaze softened. "Go get some rest now. It is quite late."

She couldn't help smile at the concern in his voice.

About to leave the room, she turned around once more.

"Professor Snape?"

He looked at her, his dark hair covering one half of his face, his eyebrow raised in question.

"You need to restock the mistletoe berries."

Snape inclined his head and watched her take her leave. Looking around the lab he felt utterly surprised. Surprised to find that he felt concern for the little Gryffindor witch, who was admittedly not that little anymore.

The war had changed her and Severus was still trying to figure out if it was for better or worse. She had grown up, most certainly, but the haunted look in her eyes and on her face that she only allowed to show when she thought no one was looking… It broke his heart.

Even in death the Dark Lord still had control of people's lives and he hated to think that his former Master had destroyed the life of that particular brilliant witch. His hand curled into a fist as he tried to control his anger, emotions long bottled up finally boiling over.

The ministry had exonerated him, but that didn't mean Severus had forgotten what he had watched and done over the last twenty years and it certainly didn't mean that he forgave himself for all those things that he had done as a Death Eater.

He was on his way to check on his supplies, as a thought crossed his mind and he stopped mid-step. There was no remedy for his guilty conscience, but there might just be something he could do to help a certain know-it-all get a grip on her life.

Smiling he went to check how many mistletoe berries he needed to collect.

**oxoxoxoxo**

The next morning at breakfast his gaze fell upon Hermione who sat by herself at the Gryffindor table away from everyone else and looked as if she was about to fall headfirst into her bowl of porridge.

He soundlessly approached her on his way out of the Great Hall and bent over her.

"I hope you do not blame me for your tiredness, Miss Granger.", he growled into her ear.

She jumped and he placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her from turning around.

"Drink this.", he ordered, placing a phial filled with a red liquid in front of her. "It will help you get through the day."

With that he turned around and left, his cloak billowing behind him.

**oxoxoxoxo**

Minerva approached him later that day just before lunchtime. "Severus.", she said, waving him into her office. "May I have a word?"

He sighed and followed, biting his tongue not wanting to say anything rude.

"I noticed you were up late brewing again.", she stated.

He looked at her, his face a mask of calm waiting for her to continue.

"I just wanted to make sure that everything is alright. I used to see you down there whenever something was troubling you."

It took him a lot to bite back the snarky remark on his tongue, but he knew she was really concerned so he tried his best to control his temper.

"Everything is just fine, Minerva, thank you for asking."

Her gaze bored into his for a moment. Finally she sighed.

"Tell me if there is a problem, Severus. You know my door is always open for you, if there is something you need."

He inclined his head in acknowledgement. "Thank you."

With that he left her office and went to have his lunch.

**oxoxoxoxo**

By the time her last class of the day approached, Hermione could feel the effects of the potion wearing off. It happened to be potions class and she suddenly felt strange entering the lab during the day when it was filled with people.

She sat down at her desk, the very same she used to share with Neville. Snape didn't so much as give her a second glance and she hoped that the potion would last until the end of the day, lest she blew up her cauldron. Thankfully they were only making a simple antidote which she had only prepared a few days ago.

Snape was walking up and down the aisle and Hermione felt him hovering behind her as she went through the automated motions of preparing the potion. Her heartbeat quickened when he stepped close enough for her to feel his breath on her neck.

"Do continue your work, Miss Granger.", he growled next to her ear and she jumped.

"Of…of course, Professor."

Flustered she continued stirring the mixture. She hadn't even notice that she froze into place when Snape stood close to her. What was wrong with her? Trying to inhale deeply to calm herself she nearly choked as smoke started to rise from a nearby cauldron.

"Just what do you intend to achieve with the inferno beneath your cauldron, Mr Finnegan?", the potions professor snarled whilst striding over to Seamus' table.

The Gryffindor was one of the few from Hermione's old year that had returned to the school. They didn't speak much. He, too, planned to become an auror at the end of the year, just like Harry and Ron.

If things had changed at Hogwarts, Hermione was certain that whatever happened, Seamus blowing up his cauldron would never stop.

This time though, Snape was able to avoid the cauldron's fate by quickly extinguishing the flame with a flick of his wand and vanishing the bubbling mixture with another.

"You will take a zero for this assignment, Mr Finnegan."

He glared at the young man who was staring at his feet. _I don't even know why I still bother with this…_, he thought to himself. Sighing he announced: "That would be ten points from Gryffindor for careless handling of an open flame. You will serve detention tonight with Mr Filch."

He swirled on his heel, making his way back to his desk. Seamus made a face at his back.

"That will be another five points from Gryffindor for showing a lack of respect for you professor, Mr Finnegan."

Hermione had to hold back a grin at seeing the shocked expression on her classmates face, trying to hide her own face by staring intently into her cauldron with the just finished potion.

"Is there anything you find amusing, Miss Granger?", snarled the potions professor. She looked up to find him standing directly in front of her and shot him a defiant glance.

"I take it this potion is finished?", he asked in his typical teacher tone that caused everyone else to stutter and panic. It used to have the same effect on Hermione but for some reason it didn't anymore. Maybe because the professor had shown her his friendlier side when he offered her to use the lab at night and gave her a recipe to work on.

"It is, Sir.", she answered calmly.

She heard some gasps from the other students. Snape ignored them his gaze focused intently on her. He inclined his head towards a phial and she filled it obligingly.

He took it from her to inspect it. A tingle shot through her hand and up her arm when their fingers accidently touched. She blushed and hoped he wouldn't realise where the colour on her face came from.

He handed the phial back to her without a word after checking colour and consistency. Quietly he left her table and started to make his round through the classroom once again.

When class was finally over Hermione hurriedly packed her things, wishing to escape from the dungeons before exhaustion took over, yearning to just take a nap on her bed for a few minutes before dinner.

"Miss Granger, a word please.", Snape called from his seat behind his desk when she was about to leave.

He waited for everyone else to exit before looking up from the parchment in his hands. Hermione was watching him nervously wondering what she had done wrong this time.

"Have a seat."

The professor motioned for a chair in front of him and she hesitantly took it.

Severus took the chance to look at her a bit more closely. Her eyelids were drooping with exhaustion, she had desperately tried to cover up the black rings under her eyes with glimmer charms and she seemed jumpier than he remembered her from previous school years.

"I have a proposition for you.", he stated after a moments silence, cutting right to the point. Her eyebrows quirked up, her chocolate eyes filled with curiosity.

"I know that you don't sleep at night and that brewing allows you to relax. I also know that you are a brilliant witch that is hungry for more knowledge and that seems to have developed a talent for potions without me noticing. Thus I have decided that I would like to give you extra classes. I am willing to teach you well into the night as I do not sleep a lot myself and this way I wouldn't be taking away from your study time. I promise those classes will challenge you in every way and also serve as a means of distraction. Should you accept I will start from the very beginning and introduce you to the art of brewing in a way I never could with all those dunderheads in your class."

She looked at him feeling stunned. "Well… it does sound interesting…", she finally managed to mumble, secretly thinking that it would sound amazing if she hadn't been so tired.

"I don't have all day, Miss Granger, please make a decision.", he drawled.

Hermione met his black eyes. _Why not?_, she thought. He had been very civil towards her, almost kind, ever since he found out about her brewing at night. She only noticed then, that there hadn't been any sarcastic comments towards her either, since the war was over.

Thinking she could always opt out later if it all got too much for her (better if the potions masters unfriendly attitude got too much), she gave him the answer he was waiting for. "I gladly accept, Professor."

He gave her an almost smile. "Very well. I have to run this past the Headmistress first, but I doubt she will have any problems with this arrangement. I expect you in this class room at 7 sharp."

She frowned, thinking of all her homework. "I thought we would work at night?"

"Today is the exception. I'd appreciate if you did not question the times I give you, as they might vary from day to day, considering I also have different business to attend to."

Relieved that her snarky professor hadn't gone as soft as she thought at first she nodded and exited the room.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I know I promised to update today, but the next day technically doesn't start until you wake up in the morning, right? Sorry for the break at the end, but this chapter is getting really long (yeah it's still not finished even though I've been writing for ages...). Anyways, the rest should be up sometime tomorrow. Hope you enjoy :) xxx**

**PS: Thanks to smithback for your review (would have replied in person, but you're a guest) and thanks to all those that follow this story. It means the world guys!**

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"Severus. Long-time no see."

He growled something unintelligible in response to her affable version of sarcasm.

"I would like to request your permission to give a student extra classes.", he said, is voice and face lacking any expression.

A tiny smile appeared on McGonagall's face. The dark wizard had never been one for pleasantries.

"And why would any student of yours be in need of tutoring?"

"It seems… the person isn't challenged enough and I would like to give them the opportunity to delve deeper into the subject."

The headmistress was nearly as adept as Severus at hiding her emotions if she wanted to, but he could still see the complete and utter surprise crossing her stern features.

"And just what student would that be, that isn't busy enough with regular schoolwork already?"

Silence answered her as Severus stared at her.

"Oh, come on, Severus, you cannot expect me to grant you permission for those classes if I don't know the whole story behind it.", she scolded.

The younger wizard sighed, hoping she would not ask further questions if he revealed Hermione's identity, because the headmistress wouldn't like what he had to say.

"Hermione Granger.", he finally answered in a low rumble.

"I didn't realise she had developed such an interest in potions. Is everything alright with her?"

He shrugged, feeling uncomfortable at discussing the girl's private matters.

"As alright as one can be, after surviving the war and being involved in it as she was."

The Scottish witch sighed. "That is true. You would tell me if there was anything she needed help with, wouldn't you?"

He nodded. "Of course. And I am sure the extra work will do her good as well. I promise it won't have any effect on her other studies."

"Alright. Give me an update every now and again on how she is getting on."

He nodded slowly. "I will. Thank you, Minerva."

"You're welcome, dear."

He scowled and left, his cloak impressively twirling around him.

**oxoxoxoxo**

At seven sharp, Hermione knocked on the lab door. Nobody answered and shyly peeking inside she found that the room was empty. Hesitatingly, she entered, but he had told her after all to be _in_ the room.

Sitting down she had to conceal a yawn. She hadn't had a chance to take the much needed nap, even though she was also relieved she didn't have to face the torture of her nightmares for another while. Still, after helping one of the younger students with their Arithmancy homework, rushing for dinner and then trying to get a start on some of her homework, she felt more exhausted than ever.

She rested her head on the desk she was sitting at, thinking that she might as well close her eyes until the potions master returned.

Lulled by the soothing smell of potion ingredients and the feel of Professor Snape's calming presence that never quite seemed to leave the room, she soon fell asleep. The tiniest of smiles caused her lips to curve upwards, placed there by the thought of the irony that she suddenly felt the presence of the reserved professor calming.

Said professor found the witch ten minutes later, shivering in her restless sleep on top of one of the desks. He had been forced to give a few snogging dunderhead couples detention, even though it didn't feel as satisfying as it usually did, although they had all been Gryffindors.

Snape had swiped into the room in his usual dramatic manner and stopped dead, finding Hermione resting her head on one of the desks. One of her hands had curled around the edge of the table and she was whimpering quietly.

"Miss Granger.", Snape drawled, but she didn't react. He stepped closer.

"Miss Granger, wake up."

Her whimpering grew louder and he thought he heard tears dripping on the desk, as her shivering grew stronger.

Finally throwing all caution into the wind he grabbed her shoulder.

"Hermione.", he called softly.

She jerked beneath his touch, opening her eyes and staring at him unfocused. Shaking her head she tried to regain orientation. Shuddering and swallowing hard she stared at her professor, who had been about to make a sarcastic comment about her sleeping in a classroom. He stayed silent though, stunned by what he saw in those amber eyes.

They seemed darker then usually and were filled with so much pain and fear; it nearly broke his heart again. The haunted look he had seen on her face before was nothing compared to the bundled distress he saw now, and he realised that even when she thought she was alone she had never let down all of her guards to let those dark feelings show.

Tears welled up in her eyes, that never left his and he caught her just in time, when her knees gave in beneath her.

There was nothing Hermione had been able to do to hold in her pain, when Snape woke her from the nightmare. She had dreamed that Bellatrix had come to torture her all over again, followed by dementors who hovered and watched, drawing closer and closer with her increasing suffering.

About to collapse, she felt his strong arms wrap around her, pulling her against him. She wanted to draw back, this was Severus Snape embracing her after all, but she didn't have the strength. It also felt way too good to be in somebody's arms. She felt chilled to the bone and her professor's warmth was more than welcome.

For the first time ever she noticed his scent, a mixture of different herbs and something else she couldn't quite identify.

It was as if he had given the little Gryffindor a calming draught. The moment Snape pulled her into his arms her body sagged against his and he felt how her shivering lessened. Tears soaked the front of his robes, but he found he didn't mind. He also found he didn't mind holding somebody in his arms, even though he could not remember the last time he had done so. Of course others had hugged him more or less against his will, particularly Minerva and Molly Weasley, but it wasn't the same.

Hermione was clutching on to him for dear life and he suddenly noticed that he was humming quietly into her ear to calm her.

What felt like hours later, Hermione reluctantly withdrew from his embrace.

"I'm sorry.", she murmured, wiping her face with the sleeve of her robe.

"Don't be."

She met his gaze with a surprised expression at the reply.

He conjured some tea and handed her a cup after forcing her to sit in the comfortable chair behind his desk.

Retreating to the storage room to give her a moment to collect herself he noticed that she was still shivering slightly. Unable to stop himself, he transfigured a blanket a few minutes later and quietly stepped up behind Hermione to place it around her shoulders.

She had buried her nose in her teacup as soon as he handed it to her, relishing in its warmth and the scent of the unfamiliar blend that was nearly as comforting as Severus personal odour.

Jumping when a heavy pair of hands fell on her shoulders, she soon relaxed when she realised her potions professor had just placed a blanket around her.

He walked around her and sat on the edge of the desk, looking at her with an undecipherable gaze. Hermione looked back in awe at the man that had comforted her without feeling the need to ask her what was wrong, the way Ron always did. She still didn't understand why Snape had decided to be nice to her. The young witch had always presumed that the professor didn't like her, but over the last few days he was proving her wrong in a way that left her completely startled.

Busy analysing the wizard's odd behaviour she even forgot about the painful memories the nightmare had stirred up, but they immediately returned when Snape started speaking in his stern teacher voice.

"Miss Granger, I know you do not care for me asking why you are in such a state after falling asleep in my classroom. I will however ask you a few questions and I expect you to answer truthfully."

Her eyes widened, but she continued looking at him. A shadow crossed his face when he noticed the pain returning to her eyes.

"Do you feel better now?", he asked abruptly, yet his voice had become softer.

She swallowed. "It doesn't ever get better.", she murmured, immediately wishing she hadn't been _that_ honest.

"It?"

"Yes, it. The pain." Hermione seemed confused.

"That is not what I asked you."

Her brows furrowed.

"Get that brilliant mind of yours working, Miss Granger. Now listen. I did not ask did the pain go away. I asked if _you_ felt _better._"

She stayed silent for a while and Snape was becoming impatient. About to snap at her to get her out of her reverie, she started speaking in a soft voice.

"Yes, I do feel a little bit better, Professor. But… It's only temporary. It always is. I am so tired and I can't even sleep, because I'm so afraid of the pain." Her voice broke and she angrily wiped a few stray tears. "Look at me. I'm supposed to be a Gryffindor, fierce and brave. Now I'm nothing more than a crying whimpering mess inside and out and not even my two best friends have noticed."

She grabbed the ends of the blanket and wrapped it tightly around her, grateful for its comfort, yet she felt completely broken, as if she had been ripped apart. Pain was washing through her like a dozen tsunamis and she thought she was going to lose it at any given moment.

"Even the bravest Gryffindor can have a moment of weakness, Miss Granger. And I believe you have a very amp reason for being a bit of a mess at this moment. If you care to share, I will listen, even if your friends seemingly don't. I might even be able to offer some advice."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I just saw that I forgot to put my disclaimer, but I guess you know that for all of this and everything that's still on the way applies: I own nothing but the plot, world and characters belong to J.K. Rowling.**

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Hermione looked at Snape with wide eyes, interrupted in her thoughts and he thought he saw something break inside her; probably the last wall of composure she had left.

Later she didn't know why she had told the professor all the things she did, but she never regretted it.

"I have nightmares, Professor, but you probably guessed as much. They bring up memories I keep buried during the day. They are painful… so painful…" Her voice broke again, her eyes fixed on a point behind him and she swallowed hard.

"I am afraid to go to sleep and the fear of the pain keeps me awake. When Headmistress McGonagall started noticing there was something wrong with me, I began using glimmer charms, so now she and Ginny leave me alone. I had to decide between pain and exhaustion, but I don't think I can keep going much longer. I'm always so tired and you would think I would be too exhausted to dream at this stage, but I still do. I feel as if I am going to collapse, but I can't because if I will, the dreams are going to get me and it's so painful and I don't know what to do because I'm just too tired and I just want to forget about the war, Ron, my parents, everything…"

Snape watched as she started off with slow, deliberate sentences that turned into more or less incoherent rambling at the end. She stopped speaking and started sobbing uncontrollably. Memories popped up in her head, ones that she had usually under control during the day.

Hermione watched Sirius fall through The Veil, she saw Harry kneeling next to Dumbledore's broken form at the bottom of the astronomy tower, she remembered Harry's fragile, dead body in Hagrid's arms… It didn't stop. Every painful event of the past few years replayed itself in her head.

She felt squashed beneath her own emotions. There was pain, fear, exhaustion and panic and anger because she was having a breakdown in front of Snape.

But the professor didn't mind. He was only able to watch Hermione's trembling form for a few seconds, before he found himself falling on his knees and grabbing her shoulders.

"Miss Granger… Hermione. Hermione, breathe!", he ordered, as she started making choking noises.

She shook her head at him, as he tried to calm her down.

"Why…WHY?", she coughed, looking at him through a veil of tears. He shouldn't have found out about it, why did her damn professor have to be so damn observant?

She started hitting him in the chest, when her despair turned into anger.

"Why did you notice!", she groaned. Snape didn't even attempt to catch her fists that where abusing his person for seemingly no reason.

"You're gonna try to help me, but you can't, no one can, why didn't you just let me brew by myself?!"

She was shouting at him but soon started to sob again and Snape pulled her into him.

When he noticed that she was getting herself into a proper hysteria, he pushed her back, trying to catch her eyes with his, but she wasn't looking at him.

Brushing back her now messy curls, he took her face into his large hands, forcing her to look at him. Her gaze was unfocused though; she was lost in her own world of pain and exhaustion.

"Breathe.", he commanded, in a tone that left no room for objections. "In. Out. In. Out."

With relieve he noticed her coming back to slowly, finally really looking at him.

"Count to ten. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. Keep breathing. In. Out. Empty your mind. Push all thoughts from your conscience. Make it blank. Now concentrate. Focus on the present until everything else ceases to exist."

She followed his commands and he watched as she calmed beneath his hands and then sat completely still, her gaze never wavering from his face.

"Discipline your thoughts and control your feelings. They don't control you, you control them."

"But when I sleep…", she whispered. He kept staring at her.

"Sleep is not in the present, you will not think about it now. In the present you will relax. Tell me what you need to do to relax."

Hermione closed her eyes and knew the answer. Her thoughts had stopped twirling and twisting inside her head, her mind was calm. He could have asked her any question at that very moment and she could have given him the answer without having to think. Better even, any thoughts about sleep or nightmares or memories were buried deep behind new walls in her mind and she was unable to touch them for now. It was as if a switch had been flicked.

"I need to brew.", she replied, her voice soft yet firm.

Snape gave her his almost-smile, visibly relaxing.

"Very well."

He got up and straightened his robes, staring at her with a sombre expression.

"Do you feel ready for your first lesson?"

"Yes."

"First I will make a few rules. I am giving you these classes in the first place to help you cope with your problem. Whenever you are here with me you will focus on the present. You will not allow your thoughts to go astray and give the task at hand your full and undivided attention. I will take to harsher methods should you be unable to do so. Am I making myself clear?"

"Yes, Professor."

He exhaled slowly and started pacing up and down in front of her.

Hermione felt herself calm even more, now that she had something to focus on. Her eyes followed the potions master. It was an odd feeling, for after what he had made her do to control her mind, the room with the two of them in it was the only thing that existed for her.

"Brewing is not just following a recipe and mixing a few ingredients. It is not going through some automated movements to get the desired results. No. Brewing is an art form that requires full concentration, a mind faster than a firebolt and nerves like steel. When you create a potion, draught, salve, anything, you have to do it with all you have, as if it was the last thing you are going to do.

Today we are going to make the Cure for Boils. Some say it is the easiest potion there is, but the one we will make today will be better than any version of it you have ever seen, Miss Granger."

He motioned for her to get up and held out his hand. "Your wand, please. You will see that most potions do not actually require the use of a wand and turn out better if they are made without."

He smirked when she hesitatingly handed him her wand. "Remember, no unnecessary wand-waving in my class room."

She smiled, allowing the memory of her very first potions class to pass the walls she had built in her mind.

He tucked away both their wands securely. "Miss Granger, what ingredients are required for the Cure for Boils?"

"Six snake fangs, four horned slugs and two porcupine quills.", she recited confidently.

Snape nodded. "If you would fetch those.", he ordered, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

When Hermione returned from the storage room he was still standing in exactly the same spot, waiting for her.

He quietly ordered her to place the snake fangs in the mortar, but when she picked up the pestle he stopped her by placing his hand on top of hers. She jumped slightly not having realised that he was standing behind her.

"You do need to work on your nerves, Miss Granger.", he mumbled into her ear in his low baritone voice that made her shiver.

"Now, before you start, please remember that every potion you make is a unique project that deserves to be perfect." He continued speaking into her ear, his breath tickling the side of her neck.

She nodded, picking up the pestle once more, but immediately pulling back when Snape's fingers curled around hers.

He growled impatiently. "Get a grip, Granger. Let me work with you otherwise you will never learn how to handle the ingredients and won't ever get a proper feel for potions making."

She sighed. "I'm sorry, Professor. I was just surprised…"

"Focus, Miss Granger.", he drawled.

She took a deep breath, banishing the distracting thoughts that had managed to slip past the walls in her head.

Finally she started crushing the snake fangs, melting into Snape's touch to let him guide her movements, taking in everything their combined hands did.

The professor had a hard time focusing himself. Hermione's soft curls were tickling his chin and he couldn't ignore her wonderful scent of honey, lemon and clean soap anymore. He was also only too aware of her slender form between his arms that had curves in just the right places.

They continued brewing together and Hermione felt herself relax beneath the potions masters touch.

As they stirred the mixture in the cauldron, Snape pointed her attention to different indicators on the surface and ones beneath that could only be felt with the ladle, that she had never noticed before.

Eventually bright pink smoke started to rise from the cauldron and Snape let go of her hand.

Hermione smiled happily and turned around to look at him.

"It's never been this pink before!", she stated, sounding excited.

"I told you this would be a better Boil Cure than any you have seen or brewed before."

He pulled out a slip of parchment and motioned for Hermione to fill their potion into a phial while he wrote a label.

"Pay close attention to the texture and hold it against the light."

He stood next to her, inspecting the phial with her.

"Now, Miss Granger, this is not just an acceptable potion, it is a perfect potion. Memorise its colour and consistency. As a teacher I have to award top marks for anything close to this, but you will understand now, why you found it difficult to obtain an 'O' in my class. You will also realise why I don't go around dashing out compliments like sheets of parchment. They would be undeserved."

She nodded apprehensively, noting that the potion did look better than any she had ever seen and wondering if there was actually a proper explanation for the professor's typical snarky behaviour in class and his cold and reserved attitude in general. Of course she knew about his role as a spy, but she started to think there was a lot more to it than just enjoying tormenting ones students and driving everyone off.

Snape took the phial from her hand and flicked his wand to place the label around it. He then looked at Hermione, meeting the gaze of her amber eyes. He could see that she was thinking about something, but didn't dare ask. It wasn't his place.

"Ten points to Gryffindor as a reward for your first truly outstanding potion, Miss Granger.", he suddenly said.

She beamed at him. "Thank you, Professor!"

She was so happy, she wanted to hug him, but she didn't dare. Yet, those ten points meant the world to her.

After tidying up their work station, Hermione accepted another cup of tea from her professor. She knew there was homework waiting for her, but for once she didn't care. Tomorrow was Saturday after all. Slowly she started to feel her exhaustion again. With it came thoughts of sleep and she felt the newly erected walls in her mind tremble.

Snape had been contend sipping a cup of tea with her in silence, glad that she didn't feel the need to ask any questions. He felt immensely relieved to see that she had relaxed. _She really does look tired_, he thought to himself, as he watched the young woman slump in the comfortable armchair he had transfigured, her nose buried in her cup and her eyelids half closed.

He still didn't fully understand why he had decided to help the little know-it-all. It wouldn't make up for his sins, but it still felt like the right thing to do. He knew to really help her just getting her to relax and teaching her to brew wasn't enough, but to get to the root of the problem he would need to gain her trust first. He also took an immense joy in teaching someone potions in a way that surpassed most people' ability.

Just then he saw her tense up again. _Not another breakdown_, he silently begged, unsure if he would be able to handle it.

"Focus, Miss Granger.", he snarled.

Her head snapped up, eyes focusing on him.

"Now talk to me."

She didn't need to ask about what. Maybe it was because he never allowed her to ask questions in class, because now she seemed to know what he wanted most of the time.

"I really badly want to sleep, sir. But I'm afraid I can't."

He looked intently at her for a moment.

"If you would allow me to accompany you to your chambers, I might be able to do something about that."

Hermione felt her jaw drop as thoughts of just what he meant by that crossed her mind.

"Oh, stop gaping, will you. It's not like I'm going to make inappropriate advances on your person.", he snapped and stood.

"Do you want to sleep or not?"

Blushing, she closed her mouth and placed her cup on the desk.

"I do.", she answered and got up as well.

Walking briskly as always, Professor Snape accompanied her to her chambers. They were hidden behind the portrait of an otter swimming in a moonlit lake.

"Bellis Perennis."

She entered, feeling slightly awkward with the professor in the most private place she had in the castle.

He looked at her, an odd expression on his face.

"What?", she snapped, thinking he thought something was wrong with her room.

He gave her an almost-smile.

"Daisy?", he asked. "Really?"

She sighed exasperatedly. Of all things he had to pick on her password.

"Well, Professor McGonagall told me to pick something that wasn't easily associated with me, and Herbology is Neville's niche after all."

The professor chuckled at the comment. Hermione raised her eyebrows in surprise and desperately tried to keep her expression indifferent. She had never heard Snape chuckle before and she doubted anyone else in the castle ever did.

Soon growing impatient with the witch, he shooed her towards her bathroom, after allowing her to stare at him more than long enough. He ignored the awkward blush on her face and waited until she got out of the bathroom again, now ready for bed.

"Miss Granger!", he drawled, grabbing her elbow. Hermione was hectically fussing around, unsure where to look or go and shivering in her thin pyjamas.

"Focus and look at me!", he growled, watching in awe as she immediately stood still.

"Seeing as you are going to give yourself a heart attack if you keep going like this I will explain myself."

She looked at him, waiting patiently, her cheeks still red.

"I will cast a spell on you that will cause you to sleep properly until the morning. It is important that you know I will not do this for you all the time. There is no point trying to research this spell either, I have created it myself and it is not written anywhere. You will learn how to sleep without it, and you may ask for my assistance with that. You may also ask me to cast the spell on you should you get to a point of sheer exhaustion like today, but it will be up to me to decide if the spell really is needed. Do you understand that?"

Hermione nodded slowly, trying to wrap her head around what he had just said, which turned out to be quite difficult in her tired state.

"Very well. Now if you would be so kind as to stop acting like a nervous puppy and get into bed…" His voice trailed off as Hermione attempted to stare him down. Snape stared back with his own trademark glare and the young witch soon gave up.

"No need to treat me like a child.", she pouted.

Resignedly she walked into her bedroom. Hastily making her way into bed, she stretched out beneath the covers. She watched uncomfortably as the professor observed his surroundings, and she was glad that she had never been the messy type so that all of her rooms were pretty tidy, apart from various books lying around.

Snape finally moved over to her. He pulled out his wand and placed his hand on the forehead of the wide-eyed Gryffindor. He watched as her eyelids fluttered shut and felt her shudder beneath his cool touch. It left him frowning and trying to figure out just why she would react like that. Remembering that she would probably not want him to linger in her rooms any longer than he had to, he started softly chanting an incantation, at the same time wondering why he was suddenly so considerate of his student's feelings.

"Somno libera et somnus sanitatis et somno… "

Hermione felt herself slowly melt into his touch and his rumbling baritone voice immediately started to lull her. Seconds later she felt magic tickle her and force her to drift off into sleep. Noticing just that, her body cramped as a reflex, but relaxed again when the exhaustion finally took her. After all who was she to fight the spell of one Professor Severus Snape?

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**PS: Please let me know what you think so far, if you don't tell me I won't know if there is something I can improve :) xxx**


	6. Chapter 6

Hermione awoke fourteen hours later. Sunlight was fighting its way into the room and she smiled contently, still away in her personal world of sleep. Suddenly jolting up into a seated position she realised that she had not dreamed once. A stupid smile spread across her face and she fell back into the cushions, automatically starting to evaluate the previous evening.

It was curious how comfortable she felt in Professor Snape's presence, even though she automatically shied away from trying to decipher just what kind of feelings she harboured for the wizard who had been behaving so different than what she was used to, at least when they were alone.

She felt embarrassed at how she had broken down in front of him. Hermione had tried her best to hide her nightmares from everyone in her life, not wanting to burden them with her problems, as she was sure they had enough of her own.

She knew for a fact that Harry was still having trouble coping with all that had happened, but at least he had found something to focus on. According to him it had really helped and he had tried to convince her doing the same even after she returned to Hogwarts.

In one of his frequent letters he had written: "_Hermione, I know there is something wrong, because you have been ignoring certain questions I asked and Ginny has also told me that you looked very tired, but refused to talk to her about it. I can accept if you don't feel ready to talk, but please know that I am just an owl away should you ever need me. I am no great master of subtlety as you know (after all I'm Gryffindor, not Slytherin) so I will just tell you straight. If you have trouble coping with all those things we've been through, I can only advise you to find something you are really passionate about, and I don't mean books. You need to find something to do, that you enjoy so much that you can focus on the present and everything that is to come and not all those things that happened in the past. They are over, Hermione and you can't change them. You need to move forward from now on, and I for one can say that finally becoming an auror has helped me do so. I feel like my life has purpose again. Trust me, as your best friend. I think something like it is just what you need."_

Hermione thought about her nightly trips to the potions lab and realised that she had unconsciously followed Harry's advice. She suddenly felt guilty for not thanking her friend properly for that particular letter, but that day she had been plagued by a particular nightmare that never failed to make her skin crawl.

Realising that she had accused her friends of not noticing that something was wrong in her frenzy yesterday, she felt even guiltier. Of course Ron hadn't noticed, but who was she to expect differently?

Yet both Harry and Ginny had inquired time and time again if she was alright. She knew she had been pushing them away on purpose, but after the events of the past few years she felt unable to let anyone in anymore. She was terrified of being hurt and even more terrified of hurting those she cared about.

Quickly trying to think about something else when thoughts of her broken relationship with Ron and the situation with her parents crossed her mind, she found herself facing the image of a certain black-clothed wizard that had enveloped her in his embrace when she needed it most.

Starting to feel warm inside at the memory she hurriedly slipped out of bed and nearly tripped when she noticed a note lying beneath her wand on the nightstand. It had been written in the familiar slanted hand. Slowly she picked it up.

_I do believe you have slept well today. I will expect you in my classroom this afternoon at 4 o'clock. Sharp. That should give you enough time to complete any assignments and study for this weekend. SS._

Hermione stared at the note trying to figure if she needed to read between the lines or not. Snape himself was a walking enigma as it was, but he usually said what he wanted to say without making a big fuss about it.

She finally gave up and went for a shower, but when she came back up into her room after a late breakfast in the kitchens she realised that he had said to complete her assignments and she started to wonder what he planned to have her do all weekend.

**oxoxoxoxo**

Ginny waited in front of Hermione's room with Luna when she finally emerged to go have her lunch. The young witch startled at seeing her friends.

"Hey, guys, what are you doing here?", she asked.

Ginny growled at her. "What do you think, Hermione Granger? It's a surprise that you even remember us, _your friends_!"

Hermione raised her hands in defence. "I'm sorry, Ginny, I meant to talk to you sooner, but I was really busy with studying…" She knew herself it was a weak apology.

"That's not an excuse for not sitting with any of us during the meals and I know for a fact that you haven't even been reading while eating lately." The youngest Weasely stood with her hands on her hips and a glare on her face that could have been her mother's.

"You will tell me this very moment what is wrong with you or we will all stand here until we starve."

Hermione looked at her friend in silence, a defensive look on her face.

"I can understand if you don't want to talk about it. But you look much more rested today…", Luna said in her dreamy voice.

"Shush, Luna, she needs spit this out to someone. Come on, Hermione, why don't you trust me?"

Hermione gasped at the accusation in Ginny's voice. The way she was pressuring her made her feel as if she was suffocating. She also felt the walls in her mind waver again. It made her realise that however hard she tried, she wasn't able to talk about it to her friends yet, even though it hurt her to push them away like that.

Ginny took in air as if she was going to push her again to answer her questions and Hermione finally snapped.

"You listen to me, Ginevra Weasely. I know that I am not the only one that has gone through a lot in the last few years, but everyone copes different. I for one do not cope very well, if you must know, but I am not ready to talk about it and pushing me into it isn't going to help things. And don't you _ever_ doubt my trust again! As my friend you should understand that I will talk to you in my own time!"

There was a fiery look in Hermione's eyes and the air around her was sizzling with magic.

"But, Hermione, it's not-"

"NO!", Hermione hissed. "Why can't you accept when I want to be left alone?"

She swirled on her heels and practically slammed the door in Ginny's face.

"I told you if she wanted to talk about it she would have come to you herself.", Luna said quietly.

"I just wanted to help her! She hasn't been herself lately, and I really want my friend back."

Luna herself wasn't sure if Ginny was ever going to get back her friend the way she wanted to. Of course she didn't say anything. There was nothing either of them could do to change it if it was to be.

"Come on, I want to have some pudding.", she said instead, skipping ahead.

Ginny mumbled something unintelligible and followed her.

**oxoxoxoxo**

Severus waited the whole lunchtime for Hermione to arrive in the great hall and started to get worried when she didn't. She hadn't showed up for breakfast either. Afraid something had gone wrong with the spell the previous night (even though that was an excuse, he was sure it had worked just fine) he decided to go to her chambers and check on her.

Standing in front of the portrait, that only turned into a door when you left the room or wanted to knock, he took his time composing his expression, desperately trying to convince himself that he did in fact not care about the insufferable know-it-all whatsoever. He was merely doing the right thing.

He raised his hand and watched as the portrait turned into a door, before knocking briskly.

"Miss Granger?"

There was no answer. Snape continued to knock and call her, hoping no one would happen to walk past and see him in front of a student's private chambers.

Growing more and more unsettled he decided to enter her rooms and told himself that he could always use the sleeping spell as an excuse to check on her, if she should try to scream his head off.

"Bellis Perennis."

The door swung open and Snape hesitantly crossed the threshold.

"Miss Granger?", he called again, softly this time in case she was asleep.

He eventually found her sitting on her bed, arms wrapped around a fluffy cushion. Her eyes were red as if she had cried. She was staring into space, not moving, not blinking and only just breathing, her face void of emotion.

"Miss Granger. Hermione."

Her head turned to the sound of her given name and she locked eyes with him. In them he suddenly saw what he thought looked like regret.

Tentatively taking a step towards her, he cocked his head to the side, trying not to tower over her the way he did to frighten first years.

"What is it?", he asked and she swallowed hard, diverting her gaze to the ceiling as if the words she was looking for were written there.

"I am not sure how to explain, but I think you might be able to understand…", she said after a while, her voice no more than a whisper.

Hermione still didn't understand why she felt so comfortable sharing her thoughts with Snape, but couldn't bring herself to even give her friends the slightest bit of information on how she was feeling.

"I… I can't talk to them. My friends. I was… wrong yesterday when I said they didn't notice something was wrong with me. It's more like… I don't want them to know. No, not even that, I just don't know how to talk to them about it. We have all practically been through the same and I… I don't think they could understand why I hurt so much, but it hurts me even more when I see them get angry at me. I just keep pushing them away, Professor." Her gaze suddenly returned to his face. "I can't help it. I'm in so much pain and I know nothing they could do could make it better. It will just stir up memories I want to forget about."

Snape listened intently and had to banish the pity he felt when he realised that the war had caused the girl to emotionally break. He didn't know where to start to put her back together or if he even could. For now he could only listen to her.

Hermione was looking down on her hands that were clawing at the covers of her bed when she suddenly remembered Snape offering to help her.

He had been about to take another step towards her when her head suddenly snapped up, hope flaring across her fine features.

"You said you could help me.", she whispered and got up, dropping the cushion on the bed.

He slowly nodded.

"Please.", she begged. "Please show me how to cope. I want this to stop, I want to be able to sleep again and most of all I don't want to lose my friends, because if I did…" She swallowed. "I don't know how I would get through each day."

Snape's jaw clenched when he felt her fingers wrap around the lose end of his sleeve as if trying to stop him from running away. He just wasn't used to have physical contact with other people.

"Are you sure you want my help, Miss Granger?", he asked in a tone that send other people running. He held up his hand to stop her from speaking. "Before you say yes, make sure to realise what you are getting yourself into. I will not be soft on you. You will not be able to tell your friends why you are really spending so much time with me; you will use the extra-classes as an excuse, which I will still be giving you. You will also have to open up to me completely and share with me your most private thoughts and feelings, so that we may tackle your problem at its root. Are you ready for that?"

To his surprise she didn't hesitate to answer.

"Yes. Yes I am. Thank you, Professor." She smiled shyly at him, unable to grasp that her snarky potions professor was actually willing to do such a thing for her.

Snape knew that it wasn't going to be easy for him either. After all he had taken nearly twenty years to learn at cope with his own pain. He was also most certainly not used to having people pour out their hearts to him.

He sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. "Very well. Have you finished all your work for this weekend?"

She shook her head. "No, I have an essay for Defence against the Dark Arts and your Potions assignment left, but it shouldn't take me too long."

He nodded. "I will see you in my room as soon as you are finished."

She smiled. "Thank you again, Sir."

He dismissively waved his hand at her. "If you do not stop thanking me I might reconsider helping you, so you should refrain from doing so again."

The smirk on his face took the harshness from his words and Hermione almost grinned. For the first time in months she felt as if things were going to change for the better.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Wow, I really must have done something right with the last chapter, I got a lot of follows, welcome to the story guys :) anyway, hope you enjoy the new chapter and don't be shy, please let me know what you think! :) xxx**

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"Enter.", she heard the professor's voice order from inside.

She found him sitting at his desk, grading papers.

"Good…evening."

"Hrmph." He looked up at her for a second and then inclined his head towards a chair. She sat down and waited for him to finish and say something.

"I am impressed to see that you have completed two assignments in less than two hours. I should hope you are not rushing with your regular school work?"

She shook her head, looking appalled at the mere thought of not completing her work to a proper standard.

"I had most of the research done, Sir, so it didn't take very long to write up everything."

He didn't reply, but finished grading the paper in front of him, drawing an ornate 'E' on the bottom of the page.

Hermione found the man greatly confusing. He behaved very gentle and concerned towards her, even offered her all this help, but then he just fell back to his usual grumpy and snarky self, even though she was under the impression that he did not mean to hurt her anymore with his sarcastic remarks.

She watched as he pushed the stack of parchments to the side.

Slowly the wizard stood, summoning a cauldron from the store room.

"We will start off with some brewing. I know it will help to calm you. It will also be a daily exercise during which you will learn to discipline your thoughts. It is crucial that you are able to control your mind as it will help you cope during the day and when we try to solve your problem."

She nodded in agreement, feeling at ease for the first time that day due to his clear instructions. She wasn't sure if he was aware that just those stern rules did a great deal to help her. It was like something to hold on to.

"If you will now, Miss Granger, please count to ten."

He saw the surprised look on her face, but she did what she was told without asking.

"Breathe. In. Out. Push all thoughts from your conscience. Focus on the present until everything else ceases to exist."

Hermione looked up at him, her face an expression of calm.

"You will use these instructions every time before you brew and also whenever you feel a situation is overwhelming you. Understood?"

"Yes, Professor."

"Very well. Today we will make a Calming Draught. I believe you are familiar with it?"

Hermione nodded and confidently recited the list of ingredients.

Snape cocked his head in approval and motioned for her to stand in front of their workbench.

"I see you have restocked the mistletoe berries." She turned to look at him a sparkle of amusement in her amber eyes.

"Focus.", he drawled, finding it hard to focus himself standing so close to the young woman. He told himself he would get used to it in time. After all he was going to see Hermione every day now, as it seemed. He nearly growled at the thought. Why did he do this again? Oh yes. It was the right thing to do.

Hermione turned back to the ingredients, her face once again calm.

Snape's hand curled around hers just like before, guiding her through the different motions of preparing the mildly difficult potion, which were slightly different from the ones found in the text book. She secretly rejoiced in the cool feel of her potions professor's touch, but told herself to keep focused lest he find out what broke her concentration.

The professor smirked at the delight on the know-it-all's face when they managed to create another absolutely perfect potion and found he looked forward to seeing her use the newly learned skills in his potions class and later on in their private sessions when he would allow her to brew on her own.

Hermione looked around for Snape after tidying their workstation and found him sitting in one of two comfortable armchairs, that seemed completely out of place in the room students often referred to as 'the cave'.

She took a seat and the cup of tea he was offering. Hermione had found that she loved his tea, but she didn't dare ask him where he got it.

They drank in silence for a while until the young witch cleared her throat because she couldn't stand it anymore.

"This looks a bit like a session with a muggle psychologist."

Snape snorted. "Believe me, Miss Granger; this… arrangement is in no way comparable to what you are referring to."

They fell silent again and she started fidgeting in her chair.

"So what are we going to do, professor?"

He had trouble hiding his smile. "Just now I am testing your ability to stay quiet for a to you unknown period of time. I must sadly inform you that it is not one of your better skills. However I am confident it may improve in time. For now however… How do you feel about telling me about those nightmares you have?"

He saw her hesitation and decided she needed a little nudge in the right direction.

"Don't worry, we'll take it one step at a time and I will try not to push you too far out of your comfort zone. It is the only way to go about this, though, trust me."

He looked at her and suddenly remembered he had meant to ask her something else earlier.

"Wait, before I forget, have you eaten today?"

She raised her eyebrows. "Yes."

"When?"

"What does this have to do with my problem?", she snapped.

"Watch your tone. If you must know, forgetting to eat are first signs of either stress or of a person that has deemed their life is without purpose. You should know yourself which category you fit at the moment."

With that he clicked his fingers, almost certain that she had missed lunch completely. A house elf appeared and returned seconds later with a platter of sandwiches.

Hermione had to force herself to not scowl at the professor for his overly concerned behaviour.

Snape himself had to force the bemused expression off his face when he saw the Gryffindor relish in a sandwich seconds later, her whole body giving away her hunger.

"Is it possible that there is another category of people that forget to eat?", she asked a bit later.

"Do enlighten me."

"Well, what about people that are completely overwhelmed by a situation and get so caught up in distracting themselves from it that they forget to eat?"

"And would that be the category you fit in, Miss Granger?"

She sighed, deciding to do everything to make this odd form of therapy work and so she started telling him about her earlier encounter with Ginny and Luna and how it made her forget about lunch. It also allowed her to avoid the topic of her nightmares for another while.

Always observant, Snape noticed this of course, yet said nothing knowing she would tell him in her own time.

"I always thought Miss Weasely seemed to be a bit pushy at times.", Snape conceded after Hermione finished her story. "I am almost certain she got that from her mother."

The young witch gawked at him for a minute and then started giggling.

"I can't believe you just said that! … Sir."

He smirked at her reaction and the way she nearly forgot the formalities. He noticed he didn't mind, as long as she didn't slip up in front of other students, not that he was going to tell her.

"I can say from past experience that it is true, Miss Granger. I was subjected to that… pushiness at nearly every Order meeting. There were quite a few of them, as I'm sure you know."

Hermione kept shaking her head in disbelieve, trying to imagine Mrs Weasely fussing over Snape.

"Am I right in assuming that Miss Weasely's attitude is the reason why you missed lunch and why I found you in such a state in your room?", he interrupted her thoughts.

She looked up at him and had half a mind telling him that he was sounding just like the Weasely matriarch, but of course she didn't dare. Instead she nodded in assent.

They fell silent again, but this time she didn't want to be the first to speak. Probably because she knew where the conversation was heading.

"Now, those nightmares of yours… What kind of nightmares are they?", he asked softly, knowing they wouldn't get anywhere if he didn't make the first step. _And when did you become an expert on human behaviour, again?_ Seeing her wince he wished he hadn't asked, afraid she would feel he was pressuring her just like her friends.

"I'm not sure I understand what you are asking, Sir.", she replied shyly.

"Look I will just ask you a few simple questions to get the general idea, what do you think?"

She nodded, one of her curls falling from her loose bun.

"Are your nightmares recurring or always different?"

She did start to feel as if this was a proper therapy session.

"Recurring."

"But it is more than just one?"

"Yes."

"And are they about things that have happened to you or things that you are afraid of that will happen in the future?"

"Both, in a way. Most are things that happened to me during my… adventures with Harry before he finally defeated Voldemort. And then there are some that are a mixture of both…" She trailed off, but started to speak again when she saw the puzzled look on her professor's face. It wasn't an obvious expression, but obvious enough for her.

"Do you remember during my second year, when the basilisk petrified Mrs Norris?"

Snape nodded, scowling on the inside at the thought of a livid Filch threatening to do things to the culprit even _he_ wouldn't consider for punishment.

"Well, sometimes I dream it's Crookshanks instead of Filch's cat…"

Hermione blushed feeling embarrassed. Snape had to hide a smile once more.

"Oh that insufferable fur ball of a familiar? To be honest, Miss Granger, I get what you were trying to explain but somehow I doubt that this dream renders you unable to sleep at night."

"I haven't seen him since the final battle!", she scoffed. "He could have been eaten by acrumantulas for all I know. But you're right; it's by far not one of my worst nightmares."

The potions master watched her intently for a moment.

"Would you be able to share one of those worse nightmares? It is important for me to know what has you so terrified so I can figure out a way to help you get over that fear."

He saw her hesitation and added: "I don't expect you to tell me the worst of all, take one that's bad but still bearable. Little steps, remember?"

She nodded, taking deep breathes, trying to pick one of her nightmares without thinking of them too much.

"It's difficult…. You know how I said the nightmares were recurring? Well they are, but it's as if there are also different versions of the same dream, some worse than others."

"Then you should tell me the worst-case-scenario, if you can."

Hermione cocked her head to the side, finally deciding on a dream.

"Sometimes I see Hagrid, carrying a dead Harry in his arms. Voldemort is talking to everyone, telling them to join him before it's too late. Neville steps forward, but this time Harry doesn't wake up. Hagrid is shaking him, but he just doesn't wake up. Voldemort kills Neville and then his Death Eaters come forward and start killing everyone and in the end it's just me and Voldemort."

She swallowed, not daring to look up at her professor.

"He…he levitates Harry out from all my dead friends and towards me. He laughs in my face and says 'not so smart now, are you, Princess of Gryffindor?' and then he feeds Harry to Nagini. Bellatrix turns up out of nowhere-" She stopped abruptly not ready to share that story just yet.

"I wake up, thinking I am completely alone with no one to turn to and I feel even worse for pushing my friends away, but… but I just can't help it."

A stray tear ran down her cheek and she tried not to shiver.

Snape had watched and listened in shock, noticing how the blood drained from her cheeks. Needing time to think of a reply he handed her another cup of tea and she wrapped her hands around it gratefully.

"It seems that you are still trying to work your head around all the things that happened to you during the war and that is only natural. But you should remember that the Dark Lord is defeated. He will not come back and he will not harm any of them or you, for that matter. Your friends won't abandon you either, they are your friends after all, and you Gryffindors are known to be fiercely loyal."

She smiled at that, a bit of colour returning to her cheeks. "You're right. Maybe I feel guilty for not talking to them as much as I used to…"

Snape shook his head. "You shouldn't feel guilty about that. They all have things they don't want to share with anyone and they should realise that you are just the same. But if you are afraid of being alone… Even if every single person in Hogwarts should suddenly leave or die, I'll still be here to give you your extra potions class."

Hermione stared at him, surprised at the sudden declaration that made her feel incredibly warm inside. Never would she have thought to rely on and come to trust the professor that much.

He watched her over the rim of his tea cup and straightened up when her expression of relieve turned into shock.

"What is it, Miss Granger?"

She stared at him and he started to think he had done something wrong, when she spoke again.

"I think I just understood one of my problems…", she said, looking straight at him.

"Did you know Ron left Harry and me when we were trying to find the horcruxes?"

"Yes, I was aware of that." He still couldn't believe the Weasely-boy had been such a coward to just abandon his two best friends, the female of which he had had a crush on for all he knew.

"Well, I think that day something inside me broke and I… I lost my ability to rely on people. How can I when one of my best friends left me when I needed him most? I know they're not all like Ron and Harry can be great but he's so preoccupied with his own problems…" Her voice faded and she stopped talking.

"I'm over-analysing, aren't I?" She asked, meeting his black gaze. His lip curled up slightly.

"Yes, but I for one find it quite helpful to do so from time to time. For now, I think it is time for you to go get some rest. I will try and think of something for tomorrow to work on your trust issues."

Hermione shuddered at the prospect of sleeping. Snape noticed of course.

"You should try and focus on the good things that happened to you over the past few years. Maybe that will help you sleep."

She sighed deeply. "I can always try."

The young witch got up and grabbed her bag. Stopping on her way to the door, she turned back to the dark wizard who was still sipping his tea.

"Sir, may I ask you a question?"

"That was one already."

Hermione growled at him and he smirked in reply.

"How do you know all those things about nightmares and what to do?"

He hesitated and decided she deserved the truth. Lies on his part, should she catch him, would only worsen her trust issues and the little Gryffindor had already experienced enough pain.

"From my own experience. I, too, had trouble coping with things that happened to me. It took me the better part of twenty years to get through my problems. I do hope I will be able to accelerate the process for you a bit."

She smiled. "Thank you, Professor." Growing a bit bolder facing this more open version of her professor she added: "By the way, your tea is absolutely amazing."

He couldn't help chuckle and shooed her out the door, before she realised just how much he enjoyed her company, even though their conversation hadn't been exactly light.

**oxoxoxoxo**

At the same time in the Gryffindor common room, Ginny was speaking to Harry's head in the fire. Luna was next to her, having managed to convince the Fat Lady to let her in. Ginny still couldn't believe it, but Luna had always had a way with portraits and ghosts.

"Harry, we need to do something. Hermione is completely shutting us out; she slammed a door in my face today!"

Harry frowned. "What did you do? When we were in school she only went to those extremes when Ron was annoying her for hours about a sensitive topic."

Ginny sighed. "Well, I tried to force her to tell me what the hell was wrong with her. It didn't quite work."

Both of them ignored as Luna got up and started walking around with her typical dreamy expression on her face. She stopped to inspect a crack in the wall.

"You can't push her into something; that never works. You should try just being nice to her, pretending nothing is wrong and she'll eventually come around."

"Hermione is very hurt about something, but she will tell you in her own time, I think. You should show her that she can trust you." Luna, who had wandered back to the fireplace, suddenly chimed.

Ginny scoffed. "She knows she can bloody trust me, Luna, I don't need to show her."

Harry shook his head looking soothingly at his girlfriend. "Maybe that's exactly what's wrong, Ginny. When Ron left us in the woods last year she was devastated. I mean really really hurt. Coming to think of it, she hasn't been the same ever since."

They started to discuss a strategy to help Hermione, while Luna moved away again to pet one of their classmate's familiars.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Thank you all for the amazing reviews, keep them coming in, they truly make my day :) this chapter is (a bit) longer than the other ones, so I hope you don't mind. Looking forward to hear what you think, enjoy! xxx :)**

* * *

Hermione went back to her chambers and took a shower before going to bed. She noticed that she had forgotten to ask Snape when he was expecting her tomorrow, but she was sure, that he would let her know anyway. The next day was going to be a Sunday and Hermione found herself dreading to do more study. She felt like she had read every text book about five times already and she was growing noticeably bored, even though it wasn't that far into the school year.

Praying the potions master was going to keep her busy tomorrow, she crawled into bed. Once under the sheets, she closed her eyes and began to shiver, but not because it was cold. Her nightmares recurred in something akin to a cycle and she suddenly realised that tonight she was most likely to be haunted by the nightmare she had just told her professor about.

Fighting to even out her breathing she began to count to ten, the way he had told her. A few minutes later she stopped shivering. Acknowledging that Snape's methods worked she decided to follow his recommendation to think of all the good things that had happened to her.

There was just one problem. Every happy memory was either connected to her parents, which left her wanting to curl up in a ball and cry because she missed them terribly; or to Harry and Ron, leaving her angry because of her argument with Ron and guilty because she had allowed herself to grow apart from her best friends.

Growing more and more frustrated, she turned to her more recent past. Surely there must be some happy memory after defeating Voldemort that would help her sleep. She wasn't really surprised with the image her brain decided to pull up.

Hermione relaxed at the thought of a certain wizard enveloping her in his embrace leaving her to feel safe and at ease once more. She wished he would hug her again, so she could go back to that momentarily peace. Of course she knew it was completely inappropriate to think of a teacher in that way, but it wasn't like she had a crush on him, right? And she didn't care as long as the lingering feel of his embrace and his cool touch chased away the nightmares.

**oxoxoxoxo**

The next morning she was on time for breakfast. Slowly walking over to where Ginny and Luna were sitting she hesitated before taking a seat. "Hey, can I sit with you, guys?", she asked, feeling shy. She was still a bit angry with Ginny, but had decided to make an effort and spend time with her friends.

"Don't be stupid, 'mione!", the youngest Weasley exclaimed, impatiently tugging on her sleeve. "You don't need to ask to sit with us."

Hermione laughed in relieve. "Just making sure. I'm sorry about yesterday, but I was feeling a bit cornered the way you were yelling at me and I'm just not ready to talk to anyone, okay?"

Ginny looked at her curiously and then nodded. "Sure."

Hermione hated herself for apologising for something that wasn't her fault, after all her red-haired friend should be the one to say sorry. She looked up to the staff table and accidently met Snape's undecipherable gaze. He was looking straight at her, his face not betraying any of his thoughts, yet Hermione was sure that he knew exactly what she was doing. She was desperate to maintain a close relationship with her friends. She just couldn't stay away from them completely, even though it hurt her, because she felt she couldn't be herself around them, lest they start growing apart again because of their differences.

Snape was watching her ever since she entered the great hall and immediately realised what she was doing. He felt a pang in his chest at realising that the young witch was acting different in front of her friends, unable to let them see the very mature, but troubled woman that had developed an unexpected passion for potions underneath. At the same time he felt a bit flattered, knowing that she trusted him enough to be herself around him.

He hadn't noticed that the headmistress had followed his gaze until she nudged him with her elbow.

"Severus, you never told me how those extra classes are going."

He glared at the witch. "Well, that is because I have only had the pleasure to give her two thus far. They went very well, if you must know. Miss Granger is very talented and eager to learn.", he explained in an indifferent tone.

"Hmmm…", Minerva said, taking a sip of her tea.

His face turned into a sneer and he ate a bite of toast that nearly stuck in his throat at the older woman's next words.

"I just thought that she looks rather tired again and I was worried that you are putting too much pressure on her."

Only then he realised, that Hermione had forgotten to put on her usual glamour charms to cover the rings under her eyes. She also looked more ragged than usual. Still, she wasn't nearly as tired as two days ago, but he wasn't going to tell McGonagall that he was the very reason her beloved Gryffindor cub wasn't snoring into her bowl of porridge at the moment. No, he wasn't about to break the girl's trust in him by telling her former head of house about her nightmares.

"I can assure you, that she retired to her chambers early enough every time I taught her. I am also not giving her any supplementary assignments, but it is not my fault, if she decides to study late at night."

Minerva lifted her hands in defence. "I didn't mean it that way, Severus; I just thought that she might have talked to you about something that is troubling her."

He raised an eyebrow, looking at her in disbelief. "Don't forget who you are talking to. I'm the bat of the dungeons; it is highly unlikely that she would share anything private with me, the very person that made her feel like hell almost every day, because I wouldn't allow her to answer every question during my class."

Minerva was much aware of the way Severus had treated Hermione previously, but she knew both, the wizard and the young witch had changed and it said a lot, that Severus had offered to give her extra classes and that she now met his gaze from where she was sitting without fear.

Severus looked at Minerva over the rim of his cup and noticed a familiar twinkle in her eyes. It left him with the unsettling impression that the new headmistress might be just as aware of things as her predecessor.

In the meantime, Hermione ate her breakfast in silence, listening to the conversation of her two friends.

"Daddy wants to introduce a new column in the Quibbler for sightings of crumple-horned snorkacks and other rare magical beings.", Luna was just saying.

Hermione had to hide a smile.

"That sounds like a great idea…", Ginny mumbled, making a face at Hermione behind a curtain of her red hair.

The older Gryffindor frowned. She had long since accepted that Luna and her father were a bit different than the average witch or wizard, but she found their believe in things that others thought to be no more than a myth amusing and often refreshing. Weren't the Deathly Hallows the best example of those things after all? Who was to say there wasn't a pack of crumple-horned snorkacks somewhere?

"It sounds very interesting, Luna.", Hermione interjected, shaking her head at Ginny.

"Do you think there are actually a lot of people that have seen those creatures?"

Luna shrugged and took a bite of a cinnamon pastry before she answered. "Who knows? But we can only find out if we give it a go." She smiled at Hermione. "Have you read the article on the newly discovered uses of unicorn hair?"

Hermione felt Ginny groan next to her and noticed how her friend turned to another student at their table to start a conversation. She felt irritated by the girl's behaviour, but decided to ignore it and concentrated on Luna, because she knew the conversation would be a great distraction.

Ginny turned back towards her when breakfast was about to end.

"Uhm, Hermione, I have a transfiguration test tomorrow, would you mind quizzing me on the stuff that's coming up?"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Sure, no problem. I have most of my own stuff finished anyway."

At the beginning of the term Hermione had thought that she and Ginny would be in the same year now, since she was repeating, but it had turned out that everyone was repeating, as classes had been a bit out of order the last year. Of course that meant that the number of seventh years was greatly diminished, because most of them had been greatly involved in the war and the final battle, and returning to Hogwarts had been optional for them. (As a result there was also an almost intolerable amount of first years that drove a lot of their teachers crazy, especially Snape.)

"Would you like to go to my rooms to study?", she now asked Ginny, and quickly turned to Luna to extend the offer to her as well. She gladly accepted.

Ginny looked up at the ceiling. "Why don't we go outside? It might be the last warm day for a while and there are more things we can use to practice the transfigurations."

Hermione smiled. Some fresh air would surely do her good. "You're right, Ginny. We can always meet up in my room to study once it gets colder."

The two girls nodded and they agreed to meet at the entrance of the great hall in half an hour.

Just when she picked up her cup to finish her pumpkin juice she heard a familiar baritone voice in her ear.

"_You forgot your glamour charms this morning, Miss Granger."_

She looked up at the staff table where Snape was just finishing his tea. He met her eyes with his black ones and winked at her. Wait. Winked? No, she must have imagined it. Professor Snape did not wink at people.

At the same time she silently cursed herself for forgetting her glamours. She had been in such haste this morning to get out of her room. Her nightmare hadn't been the one she had expected. Instead she had seen her parents throw themselves off a cliff in Australia, because they were feeling that their life was missing something, even though they didn't know what it was. Hermione did of course and it left her devastated and guilty. She also had no way of checking if it really had been just a nightmare and her parents were well wherever they lived now.

It made her feel agitated. All she had wanted was to get out of her room and find some distraction at breakfast. It had also been one of her reasons to join Ginny and Luna that morning.

Making a mental note to find out later how Snape had send her the message she hurried back to her chambers to get the books she needed to study with the two girls; as it turned out they were in the same transfiguration class.

She knew that the next few hours weren't going to be easy, the situation reminded her too much of many Sunday revisions with Harry and Ron. Ginny hadn't done anything to deserve her help either, but she thought that if she wanted to get better she needed to start spending time with her friends and learn to trust them again. She just wished that they were able to see past the façade she wore for their sake. The one that made her appear as if she hadn't changed during the last year on the horcrux hunt.

Sighing she applied her glamour charms, hoping they weren't too obvious after not wearing them for breakfast.

On her way downstairs she walked past the Gryffindor tower. The Fat Lady waved at her. Just then Ginny appeared from the portrait hole.

"Oh, hey, 'mione, didn't think you'd come past here."

"I was avoiding Peeves.", she answered, even though it wasn't true.

"Ginny, what was that earlier at breakfast? I thought you and Luna were friends."

The redhead frowned. "Yeah, we are, what are you on about?"

She sighed. "The way you behaved when Luna started talking about the Quibbler."

"Well, I was going to ask you the same! Since when are you interested in that magazine?"

"I've always liked it!", the older girl snapped. "I thought so did you."

Ginny shrugged. "Some of it is good, yeah, but I just can't stand all that crazy talk about crumpled hornkacks."

"Crumple-horned snorekacks."

"Whatever. I can't stand them. And what about you? You used to be the first one to call something ridiculous when there wasn't anything about it in your precious books."

Hermione had to suppress a growl. "I learned that often there is some truth in a myth. I'm not going to question Luna's believes, for all we know any of those creatures she's talking about could be living right under our noses in the Forbidden Forest without even Hagrid knowing."

Ginny mumbled something unintelligible, wondering what on earth had happened to the girl that was like the sister she didn't have.

Just then, they met Luna who excitedly handed Hermione the newest edition of the Quibbler, telling her about an article she had written for it all by herself. The Gryffindor was impressed and realised that maybe she hadn't been the only one to grow up after all.

They made their way outside and sat down in the sun near the lake. She realised suddenly that Harry, Ron and she used to frequent this spot whenever the weather would allow them to go outside in their free time. Her hands curled up into fists and she had to count to ten before she was able to hold back the flood of memories with the walls in her mind. Once those memories had been happy ones, ones she pulled on to form her patronus.

As annoying as her two best friends could be, she had always cherished those moments when they could sit out in the sun by the lake, watch the Giant Squid and laugh about things that had happened to them in the past. Before the end of the war those had been part of the only carefree moments the trio had. Now those memories were tinted with the pain of growing apart from the two people that used to be the most important ones in her life.

During moments like this when her memories threatened to drown her she would give everything to go back to the person she had been, go back to being the brains of the Golden Trio and simply be herself around her friends and enjoy their company.

"Are you feeling alright?", Luna asked in a concerned tone.

"Yes, I'm fine, don't worry, Luna."

"Oh, ok, I was worried the nargles were attacking you."

Hermione couldn't help smile at the comment even though she could see Ginny role her eyes.

"You know our dear Hermione, Luna. Sometimes she's just lost in thought." Her tone was teasing and Hermione laughed, but the laugh didn't reach her eyes.

"Exactly. Now let's get started, I want to take the chance and go for a walk later."

She had just asked Ginny to perform a simple transfiguration for her, when a dark shape suddenly blocked the sunlight.

"Miss Granger." Hermione looked up at the familiar sounding drawl to meet Snape's eyes.

"Potions class room after lunch. Don't be late." With that he turned on his heel and walked back to the school, cloak billowing behind him.

"What the hell was that?", Ginny asked incredulous.

"He's helping me with my potions project." Had the youngest Weasley paid more attention she would have noticed that her friend's indifferent tone was very similar to the one their potions professor often used.

"But those don't have to be done for ages, for all I know, 'mione! Why would you spend your Sunday with _him_?"

Hermione glared at her. "There is nothing wrong with spending time with _Professor Snape_. The project I am working on is very complex and he offered to help so I am not going to complain about the times he chooses to work with me. Now. Do you want to transfigure that damned leaf or keep nagging me about my business?"

Ginny huffed in annoyance but pulled out her wand. "No need to snap at me…", she mumbled and turned the leaf into a feather. She continued to turn it into a quill and finally changed it into a tiny white bird that flapped away excitedly.

Hermione continued to quiz her two friends for another hour or so until she complained that there were pins and needles in her feet and they were still nowhere near finished.

"Oh, c'mon, 'mione! It's not like you ever complained about helping Harry and Ron. You even wrote their assignments for them! I want to get this finished as much as you do."

Maybe it was because she sounded exactly like her brother at that moment. Maybe it was because she was irritable after last night's nightmare. Maybe it was just because she was tired of helping people and getting nothing in return. She didn't know and she didn't care. She exploded anyway.

"If you want to get this done, you should consider to stop daydreaming! Maybe you wouldn't even need my help if you had decided to do some work before today."

"That's not what I meant, it's just taking awfully long to-"

"If it's taking you too long, go and find yourself a better teacher! I don't care if you fail your stupid test, but don't ever ask me for help again!"

With a flick of her wand she send her books back to her room and stormed off to take a walk around the lake.

**oxoxoxoxo**

Snape had shocked the first years by walking out in the sun, most of them still believed he was a vampire or at least turned into a bat a night. He smirked at the gawking students and decided to take a walk around the lake after talking to Hermione rather than returning to the castle.

He had then ventured off into the Forbidden Forest to look for some ingredients and when he walked back into the sunlight he nearly stumbled over Hermione.

She was sitting at between the roots of an ancient oak, her knees drawn up to her chin, head resting in her hands.

Snape cowered next to her and softly touched her shoulder. She jumped and next thing he knew she had her wand pointed at him. He raised his hands.

"It's just me."

He noticed that her hand was shaking and she slowly pulled away her wand.

Meeting her gaze he also noticed that she looked as if someone had died. She was intensely staring at him now, as if she wanted to tell him something but couldn't find the words.

He pulled her up and wrapped her in his arms. The little Gryffindor buried her face in his chest, tightly holding on to his robes. She was shaking and probably crying, but he didn't mind holding her as long as nobody saw them.

After a while she calmed down and reluctantly took a step back. "Thank you. Professor."

He only nodded and offered her his arm. "Walk with me, Miss Granger?"

Hermione took his arm and he moved her into the shadows of the trees so that they wouldn't be easily spotted.

"What happened?", he eventually asked, stopping below a small maple tree.

She swallowed hard, desperately trying to hold back the tears glistening in her eyes.

"I can't do it. I just can't. I tried to spend time with my friends, but the more time I spend with Ginny the more irritable I grow. Maybe it's because she's so much like Ron. We used to be so close, but now… It's like I don't understand her and she doesn't understand me. She asked me to help her with her study today so I taught her and Luna some transfigurations… We got into a fight and I told her to never ask me for help again."

A tear ran down her cheek and she turned away from him. Her shoulders were shaking.

"It hurts so much. I just want our relationship to go back to normal, but how can it if I can't even be myself around them? They won't understand what the war has done to me… They won't understand that the Hermione they knew died sometime last year… They won't understand that all that's left is a hurting, tired, untrusting wreck of a person."

She started sobbing again and made a move to run off into the woods, but a strong arm wound itself around her waist and pulled her close. The familiar scent of herbs surrounded her and against her will she started to calm. She could feel his breath on her neck and it made her skin break out in goosebumps.

"Breathe, Hermione. You're not alone." He hummed into her ear the way he had done the first time she had broken down in front of him, not even noticing that he had called her by her given name.

"You're not the only one that has changed. It is only natural for friends to grow apart after a life changing event such as a war. If your friendship doesn't work anymore you need to let that person go, as hard as it is, but trust me it is very unhealthy if you don't. But you do not need to worry, new friends will emerge-"

"Did you not listen to me?", she hissed, pulling away from him. "I'm a wreck; I'm damaged! I have lost my ability to trust people, remember? Who wants to be friends with a broken war heroine?"

_I do_, he thought, but didn't dare tell her, not yet, maybe not ever. It was true, if anyone would know how to handle a broken war heroine it was a broken war hero. But she was a lot more than just that and she needed to know.

"_You_ are a lot more than just that. You truly are the brightest witch of your age, but sometimes you tend to oversee the obvious. You have so many talents; you could do everything you want. Whatever career you decide for, everyone knows you will excel. Apart from that you are the most kind, loyal and compassionate person I have ever met. You need to start believing in yourself again, you have no reason not to."

Hermione stared at him. It was the most passionate speech she had ever heard, the most beautiful thing anyone had ever said to her. Tears were glistening in her eyes. She wanted to believe him with all her heart, but she knew she couldn't.

"I can't just leave my past behind me. Where ever I go there is something that evokes a memory in me and they are all painful because they are connected to painful things." She struggled to steady her breathing. "I can't move away from all that, it's as if it tries to pull me backwards and I can't move forward. I just pull myself along so I don't drown, on the tiny things that make me feel better, like potions."

She started to shiver. Magic washed through her as Snape cast a silent warming charm on her. She didn't believe it would make her feel better, but it did.

"Thank you.", she whispered.

Snape moved to push a few stray curls behind her ears before he realised what he was doing.

_Back up, Severus. She's your student._

"One day you will accept the person you have become, Hermione Granger, and you will like it. For now I think all we can do is indulge you into a lot of brewing and try to figure out what lose ends are pulling you back so we can tie them up."

She looked at him in awe, than frowned.

"Lose ends?"

He studied her face for a moment, but it seemed he had managed to calm her down.

"Your relationship with Mr Weasley for example."

Her eyes widened.

"You knew about Ron and me?

"Of course. It was rather obvious when the two of you came to visit me in the hospital wing after the battle. Even though I had heard from Minerva that Mr Weasley was rather upset about you returning to Hogwarts."

She snorted, starting to walk again.

"That's putting it mildly." As if suddenly remembering about formalities she added a feeble "Sir."

Snape internally rolled his eyes.

"You may ignore the formalities as long as we are alone, Miss Granger, it doesn't make a difference to me."

She stopped mid-step turning around to look at him.

"Well then…", she hesitated. "Seeing that you've already called me Hermione a few times you might as well continue doing so."

_So she did notice_, he chastised himself inwardly. How had he become so careless around a student? It didn't matter now anyway.

"Then you must call me Severus. In private."

She beamed happily. "Sure. Severus."

He found he liked the way she said his name. It was the first time in a while he had heard it from anyone but Hogwarts staff without a more or less obvious tone of distaste.

Placing a hand on her elbow he directed her back towards the lake. "I promised to brew up some wolfsbane potion. You may assist me, if you wish, Hermione."

She felt herself break out into a grin again at the deliberate use of her first name and nodded excitedly. "I've always wanted to make it!"

She thought she heard Severus chuckle, but then again it might have been another imagination.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: So, last time I checked this story had over 2,000 views and I'm completly amazed! Thanks to everyone who has followed, favourited and/or reviewed, you guys are awesome! Please keep telling me what you think, it helps me keep going with this. Enjoy xxx :)**

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When she went to bed in the evening she always felt terrible for keeping away from them, but she just didn't know what else to do. She would have liked to talk to Luna, but she was always with Ginny and it was just too painful for her to be around the redhead at the moment.

Monday night the two girls had sat with her during dinner and she had not spoken a single word to them. Later she cried herself to sleep, not even her class with Severus had been able to cheer her up and she refused to talk to him about anything but potions that night.

After Monday Snape got her to tell him about one of her nightmares every day, even though she never told him if it helped. He tried to direct the conversation subtly towards Ron, but whenever they breached the subject she fell silent. It made him feel restless, because it gave him the impression that he couldn't help her after all even though all he cared about at the moment was to make the young witch feel better. He was surprised by the intense sentiment. Had anyone told him a year ago that he would start to care so much for the resident Gryffindor know-it-all he would have sneered at them and turned on his heel. Now he found himself looking forward to their meetings in the evening, pulling on the thought whenever the dunderheads annoyed him too much. Especially those damnable first years…

His first class on Wednesday was Hermione's NEWT potions class, a very small group that allowed him to focus on the bushy haired witch for the majority of the period.

He had noticed a bit of a change in her brewing but it was still missing something… She seemed nearly uncomfortable, struggling with her ingredients and trying desperately to find that calm place in her mind that would allow her to produce a perfect potion.

At nine o'clock sharp later that evening, Snape was sitting at his desk grading a stack of particularly terrifying papers when he heard the familiar knock on the door.

"Enter.", he said softly and seconds later Hermione dropped into the chair in front of his desk. She looked tense and he raised an eyebrow at her.

She sighed and blurted out: "I'm sorry about the potion today; I know it wasn't perfect, but I just couldn't focus properly and…" She bit her lip and avoided his gaze. "I'm sorry if I have disappointed you."

The potions master snorted. "Don't be silly, Hermione. I would only be disappointed if you had blown up your cauldron… Anyway, how many classes have I given you?"

"Five.", she answered promptly and he had to hide his smile. So she had been counting. Just like him.

"Exactly. No one expects you to be a potions mistress already. After all this isn't even an apprenticeship, so you won't have any exams later in the year you have to worry about." Well, asides from her NEWT's, but her brewing was well above the required standard already.

He got up and motioned for her to move over to their workbench.

"However, I think a bit more lecturing is in order. After all I have promised to show you what it really means to make potions."

She looked curiously at him when he summoned a batch of ingredients.

"What are we brewing?"

"Look at the ingredients and tell me, Miss Granger."

She snarled at the sound of her last name, but did as she was told.

"Draught of the Living Death?", she asked amazed.

He nodded. "Precisely. Now if you would…"

He motioned for her to stand in front of him.

"I thought you were going to do some lecturing?", she inquired.

He almost smiled. "Why would you think I cannot brew and talk at the same time?"

She turned around frowning, but relaxed when she saw that he was smirking.

"Well then…"

Hermione was slightly horrified, because this particular potion was the only one she had ever had real trouble with, but with Snape guiding her…

"You need to feel your potion.", Severus mumbled into her ear, guiding her hand to stir the mixture in an anti-clockwise motion. Hermione noticed that she had trouble focusing with him so close, his voice a low rumble in her ear. Softly he continued to speak, making her shiver.

"You have to feel every single vibration and every single bubble that starts to form at the bottom of the cauldron and slowly rises to the surface. You have to feel how the ingredients bond and react with each other. Only when you are conscious of every single atom in your cauldron will you be able to read the story all the things you are feeling are trying to tell you. And only then will you be able to brew a potion to absolute perfection. Only then will you be able to instinctively know which ingredients will combine with each other and which won't. And only if you are able to feel all those things will you be a true potions master and understand the art of brewing."

He slowly touched a cool finger to her temple. It felt amazing on her heated skin. She felt something press against her conscience and suddenly she felt what Snape felt when he created a potion.

She gasped as he pulled away, a whole new world before her eyes.

"Now tell me, Hermione, what do you feel?" His voice was no more than a low vibration in her ear.

That very moment, Hermione felt a lot of things, none of which he would want to hear.

She was feeling absolutely safe in his arms, his cool touch causing her body to melt against his unconsciously. His voice was doing things to her she didn't even dare to think about herself and that combined with the steam from the cauldron left her slightly over-heated, her hair frizzing around her head.

At the same time she was very conscious of the potion she was stirring, because now she finally knew how to really look at it. She still had tons to learn, but it was a very good start.

Softly she started to speak, telling him about the potion that was simmering in front of them.

Severus had to swallow to pull himself together. Sharing his mind with her had been very emotional for him. He had known forever how to do it, but it was a very personal thing to do and he had never found anyone worthy of it. He still wasn't sure if he should have done it, but it felt as if it was the only way to get his point across properly. Hermione's heated form pressing against him didn't leave him totally unaffected either.

Reluctantly Snape pulled away from her and handed her a small leaf, just like the ones Luna and Ginny had used on Sunday to practice their transfigurations.

"Would you do the honours, Miss Granger?", he asked holding it out for her.

She took it slowly. "My pleasure, Professor Snape."

She dropped the leaf into the cauldron that was still steaming. It immediately turned to ashes. Just like her friendships. A single tear rolled down her cheek and she caught it just before it fell into the perfect batch of Draught of Living Death in front of her. It had taken them just an hour.

"I always hated that potion.", she murmured, staring into the black liquid as if looking for the answer to something. "It was the only time Harry was better in potions than me."

A cool hand was placed on her robe-covered shoulder. "Only because he had my potions book. Without it he would have surly blown up half the lab."

She laughed quietly and turned to face him. "Thank you, Severus."

He raised an eyebrow. "For what, may I ask?"

"Because you're here for me."

He gave her an almost-smile. "You are welcome, Hermione."

She lost herself in his eyes for a moment and noticed that they were the same colour as the potion they had just made.

Snape was first to turn away, transfiguring the two comfortable armchairs and conjuring a pot of steaming tea.

The two sat in comfortable silence for a while. Severus had learned to wait for her to start speaking, because she would chose the topic herself anyway, no matter how hard he tried to direct the conversation. He had also found out that she was an extremely private person, much like himself, as neither of them felt very comfortable sharing their intimate thoughts.

The day before she had explained to him that she thought it was because before the final battle the only people that would truly listen to her were her parents and sometimes Ginny, something she only reluctantly admitted. The only problem was that she only saw her parents twice a year and often she could not tell them things because as muggle they didn't understand all aspects of her life as a witch. Ginny on the other hand did, but the young witch was more often than not more interested in boys than anything else. Yet there had been a few nights when she and Ginny had had really good conversations during which the two of them practically poured out their hearts to each other. She missed those girl's nights, but then again she was even more reluctant to share her feelings now than she had been before.

If anyone had asked them, Ron and Harry would have loudly exclaimed that they would always be there for her, but truth be told, there were only two occasions during which Harry had actually done so. Once on the day Ron started making out with Lavender Brown in the middle of the Gryffindor common room after his first successful Quidditch match and then again a few days after Ron left the two of them out in the woods, when Harry had danced with her. The whole problem was, in her opinion, that she had spent the better part of seven years with two boys, one of which was oblivious to everyone else's thoughts and feelings and the other one of which had so many problems of his own, that she didn't want to burden hers on him as well. Thus she had learned to solve her problems on her own and now she had grown so used to it that she was almost unable to talk to anyone about her feelings.

Personally, Snape thought that this feeling of having to do everything on her own was one of her greatest problems. At the same time he mused over the fact that out of all people she had taken up his offer for help. After all, friendly, understanding and helpful were not words he would use to describe himself.

Hermione was watching the professor over the rim of her cup, the way he usually did to her. He seemed to be lost in thought; at the same time his eyes were trained on her face, waiting for her to start the conversation. She had been trying to decide all day what she wanted to talk about today, but wasn't quite sure. Suddenly a thought popped into her mind.

"What date is today, Severus?"

His eyebrows nearly disappeared in his hair. "The fifteenth of October. Would you care to explain how this is relevant?"

Her lips twisted into a sad smile. "Today is my father's birthday."

He looked at her quizzically. "It's not too late to send him an owl."

She shook her head. "He doesn't even know I exist." And so she told him what she had done to her parents.

"I don't think there is a counter spell.", she finally whispered, the tears that had been glistening in her eyes spilling over.

Severus badly wanted to take her in his arms and comfort her, but he was still not sure if it was appropriate, even though he had done it before.

There was silence for a moment and suddenly she put her cup down and grabbed her bag. "If you don't mind, I don't feel like analysing that problem tonight. I… I just needed to tell someone… someone on the outside."

Before he could say anything she dashed out of the room and he wondered how she came to think that he was merely someone on the outside. Then again, he hadn't let it show just how much he had gotten attached to her, mostly because he didn't like admitting it to himself. She was also somewhat right, because like an outsider he was able to give her a different perspective on things.

Sighing he began tidying up and then decided it was time to ensure that the corridors were void of dunderheads.

**oxoxoxoxo**

Hermione was shaking all over by the time she reached her chambers. She took a shower and crawled into bed, desperately wanting to go to sleep and forget about it all. Tonight she didn't even mind that there were nightmares waiting for her. All she wanted was to be distracted from the sudden homesickness that had overcome her.

Usually she was able to fight off any thought about her parents, knowing that she had done what she did for their own good. But Monday's dream was still fresh in her mind and it really was her father's birthday today.

She wrestled with her sheets for an hour, before she gave up and got up again. Not even thoughts of Severus could calm her today. They just left her more unsettled because she didn't want to delve into the things she felt when she was around him. Briefly considering to read her favourite book, she dismissed that thought, knowing that she wouldn't be able to concentrate on that either. Hoping a walk might clear her head she put on warmer clothes and left her room again. She knew Snape was on patrol duty tonight, so if she should be caught, at least he would understand. A smile briefly crossed her face when she realised that he would probably never give her detention again, because she spent her evenings in his classroom anyway.

Wandering through the abandoned corridors without even using her wand for light she wished the front portal wasn't locked, because she would have loved to take a walk beneath the stars. Instead her feet carried her up to the astronomy tower, where she could at least see them and feel the cool night air on her face.

The door to the top of the tower opened silently and she walked to lean against the battlements. There, she wept for her parents for the first time since she had obliviated them.

Noticing a single white owl feather on the floor, Hermione picked it up and looked at it. Then she slowly pulled out her wand.

"_Avifors._", she whispered. A single tiny white bird appeared. It flew around her head once, and then she sent it off, away to Australia. "Happy Birthday, Dad."

Another tear rolled down her cheek, but she didn't bother wiping it away. Deciding there was nothing to lose she climbed on top of the battlements and sat down, her legs dangling.

Sometime later she suddenly heard a shuffling behind her and turned around to see Severus gliding towards her.

"I do hope you do not intend to jump.", he said watching her with a sour expression on his face.

"Don't worry; it'll be a small funeral. And you'll finally be rid of the annoying know-it-all swot."

He growled at her and with a sudden movement he swiped her of the wall and placed her on her feet next to him.

"That is not a topic to joke about.", he said angrily.

Hermione looked shocked. "I…I'm sorry… I didn't think…"

"You didn't think I'd care if you were dead or alive or you didn't think full stop?"

"I…I…"

Snape was now absolutely furious and she stepped away from him, for the first time in a while feeling scared in his presence.

"Hermione, there was a time when the only reason I was fighting to stay alive was the fact that I had a debt to pay and a promise to keep. By the time the final battle arrived I knew I had done both and so I wanted to die. Do you seriously think I didn't know the Dark Lord was going to kill me? Do you really believe I couldn't have defended myself and then have apparated away to safe my life? Of course I could have. But I didn't think there was a need for me in this world anymore. There was nothing left for me to live for, or so I thought. Turns out this world had a different idea."

He turned to face her and grabbed her shoulders, staring intently into her amber eyes to make sure she got his point. "Here I am today, Hermione. And today I know that life is the most precious gift of all and no matter how hard and painful it can be you will always, _always_ find something worth living for."

He shook her a little. "Do you hear me? Always. So do not ever take such a thing as suicide as a joke, for you can take it that anyone considering it is completely unaware that there is so much more out there, so much to live for and so many better solutions than death. It should be one of the greatest regrets of human kind that we do not make those people aware of the precious thing they are given. Do you understand?"

She nodded and to both their great surprise she suddenly threw her arms around his neck and held on tight.

"I would never consider such a thing.", she whispered into his ear. "And certainly not after this beautiful speech."

Snape felt his stomach flick at those words and a bright smile appeared on his face, thankfully hidden from her view. He curled his arms around her, realising that this was the first time in a long time that someone else was touching him willingly. It felt amazing and he was reminded just how much he would have missed had he died that night in the Shrieking Shack.

Taking the liberty to press his face into her unruly curls he deeply inhaled her scent. Pushing her back a little bit, but not too far to make her loosen her grip on him, he pushed the thick hair away from her face.

"I am truly sorry about your parents, Hermione. Is there anything I can do?"

She shook her head burying her face in the crook of his neck. His stomach did another flip at this gesture. He realised that all she wanted him to do was to comfort her. That moment all he wanted to do was look at the sky and yell _'To hell with propriety!'_, but instead he enveloped her with his cloak, humming into her ear again.

Hermione shivered and thinking it was because she was cold he rubbed her arm. "I love when you do that…", she mumbled into his neck.

"Hm?"

He felt her laugh quietly at his confused tone and her breath tickled the sensitive scar tissue on his neck.

"When you hum into my ear.", she explained, looking up at him, a bright blush in her face.

"Hrmph.", he growled and role his eyes.

Hermione would have made a sarcastic comment, but she was still to upset. Instead she gave a shy smile and hid her face again, wondering what had made her say what she had.

After a moment he started humming again, feeling the young woman melt into him.

Severus Snape knew then, that he would never be able to deny her a hug again.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Whoop, chapter 10, can't believe it! :D Thanks for the amazing reviews guys! I have most of the next chapter finished, so I hope I'll have it up for you by tomorrow :) Someone told me there were a few typos in the last chapter, so I'll try an fix it as soon as I can, but right now I really want to continue this and I'm quite busy in real life as well, so it might take a while... Anyway, let me know what you think! Enjoy! xxx :)**

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The next morning when Snape was on his way upstairs to go for breakfast, a voice called to him from a nearby portrait.

"Severus, my boy, may I have a word?"

The potions professor turned and put on an indifferent mask at seeing one of his former masters.

"What is it, Albus?"

"How are you, Severus? I have meant to talk to you for quite some time, but it seems to be nearly impossible to get a hold of you these days. It doesn't help that there are hardly any portraits down in the dungeons either."

Severus growled. "I am sure you are aware just why that is.", he replied coolly. Nosy portraits in his dungeons were the last thing he needed. It was hard enough to find a moment of peace as it was.

"Seeing as you finally found me, what is it you want?", Snape snarled at the former headmaster when he was met with silence and a pair of twinkling eyes.

"Who says I want anything else but catch up with an old friend?"

"You are the only person that dares to approach me before I had my first cup of coffee or tea in the morning, but even you aren't masochistic enough to stop me on my way to breakfast to simply catch up with me."

Dumbledore had the audacity to chuckle at him. Severus scowled in return, his eyes darkening with annoyance.

"Well, as it is, there is something I would like to talk to you about."

He gave him directions to an abandoned room at the far end of the castle asking him to meet him there after breakfast.

"I could have class you know.", he scoffed.

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled again – _how on earth could he still do that, he was a bloody portrait _– and then he just walked out of the frame and disappeared.

Snape sighed, hurriedly walking to the great hall, deciding that he would need coffee this morning.

**oxoxoxoxo**

Hermione had of course noticed that the potions professor arrived late for breakfast. He also looked as if he was in a bad mood already, if the brooding expression on his face was anything to go by. She was wondering what had happened and wished she could ask him, but she knew she wouldn't see him until later as she had potions last thing today.

Ever since last night she had had the nagging feeling that their relationship was changing and she was hoping that it would start to turn into a proper friendship. She needed someone in her life, someone she could rely on and she was secretly praying that Severus could be that person.

As Snape poured his coffee he noticed Hermione watching him and had to hide a smile. He raised an eyebrow causing her to blush and turn away. His stomach did the now familiar flick when he remembered her turning away in exactly the same way last night on the astronomy tower. He had looked at the memory over and over in the pensieve he had inherited from Dumbledore, unable to fully grasp what she had said to him. At the same time he rejoiced in the feeling of having done something right and he felt the sudden urge to hold her again. He knew his thoughts were on the border of inappropriateness, she was after all his student. If McGonagall had known just how they spent those extra classes she would have reeled, even though nothing out of order had happened. But she had always been very protecting of her Gryffindor Princess and he often had the feeling that after everything that had happened last year the headmistress sometimes still didn't fully trust him.

Still, not even Minerva McGonagall would be able to change that he had committed to helping Hermione. The young woman needed him and the comfort he could give her or so it seemed. As long as she wanted it he wouldn't deny her.

A horde of owls flew into the hall just then, breaking his train of thought. He observed how a white owl landed on the Gryffindor table in front of Hermione and he had the suspicion it belonged to Potter. He and the boy had made their peace after the war which didn't mean that he had developed a particular liking for him. He liked him even less when he noticed a frown appear on the curly haired witch's face.

She met his gaze and smiled shyly, than she got up and left. He wondered what was wrong, but was quickly distracted by the prospect of having to talk to Dumbledore. Now that the man was no more than a portrait he often brought out the worst in Snape, just like Potter did.

Sighing he took one last sip of coffee and left for the abandoned classroom, cloak billowing behind him.

**oxoxoxoxo**

Dumbledore was already waiting for him. The room was the same in which the mirror of Erised had once stood and he was surprised that it now held a frame. He was almost certain there hadn't been one before.

"Now, dear boy, I hope you are feeling a little better after your well-deserved cup of coffee. Or was it tea?"

Snape couldn't help roll his eyes. "Coffee."

Dumbledore chuckled.

"Now, I wanted to speak to you, because it came to my attention that you are giving extra-classes."

The potions professor looked at him. "If you know that much, I am sure the Headmistress has also given you all other necessary information.", he drawled.

"My, my, don't be offended, Severus. I only meant to ask how it came about that Miss Granger has suddenly shown so much interest in potions."

The dark wizard sighed. "She has always had an aptitude for the subject, Albus, as you are well aware. It simply came to my attention just how talented she actually is and as she also seemed in need of a challenge I offered to personally teach her."

"Hm." The former headmaster seemed pensive and Snape felt something cold run down his spine. When Albus Dumbledore looked like that he was at his most dangerous.

"My boy, has it occurred to you to ask Miss Granger to become your apprentice? I believe this world is in dire need of more potions masters, especially ones that are as qualified and passionate as you, don't you think?"

"I do not take on apprentices!", he snapped reflexively, even though the thought had actually crossed his mind, when he found Hermione brewing in his class room at night for the first time.

Dumbledore looked at him knowingly and smiled. "I am sure you could make an exception for someone as talented as Miss Granger. You are already giving her extra classes as it is. I believe the two of you would be a great match."

Severus' heart skipped a beat, praying that the old headmaster did not intend the double meaning in those words. Then again, his mentor had never been known to speak without prior thought. Could he possibly know what had happened on the astronomy tower last night? Not that it had been more than a hug, but his little speech about death wishes could have given away how much he cared about the young witch. Not that he cared in an inappropriate way. He was merely… Doing the right thing.

He sighed, looking at Dumbledore who seemed to notice his inner turmoil.

"Think about it, my boy. You have all year, after all."

With that he smiled and walked out of his frame, leaving the surly professor to sort out his thoughts.

Snape was reeling and badly wanted to hex someone, but he knew it was almost time for his first lesson of the day.

He left the room, quickly striding down to the dungeons, willing his thoughts to go away. They didn't of course, but at least they moved to the back of his mind.

**oxoxoxoxo**

After lunch Hermione walked by herself to her class of Defence against the Dark Arts. She dreaded the meal times, because she hated sitting on her own, not daring to talk to her friends, even though she had noticed them watching her, as if to make sure she was alright. The thought comforted her a bit, but hurt her at the same time, because it made her realise just how much she missed the company of Harry and Ron at dinner. She had always been able to rely on them to distract her from her studies for an hour or so and most importantly it had made her feel part of something. Now she was sitting alone, a constant reminder that the times of Ron stuffing his face across from her were long gone.

Walking into the DADA classroom she realised that it was her second most dreaded thing, just after the meals.

Professor Itana Cruz had taken on the cursed position of Defence Professor after the war. She was a strict teacher and her punishments for students who disobeyed were nearly as severe as those of Professor Snape. To say she was feared among the students would be wrong, but especially her NEWT class found that they disliked her a lot.

Hermione thought it was a bit stupid that she wouldn't let them have practice duels, even though that was the best way for them to learn how to use defensive spells. Not that they were learning many of those either. Professor Cruz was of the opinion that now that the war was over they didn't need to worry about Defence too much, so she taught them the bare minimum they needed to pass their NEWT's. That left the class frustrated, because all of them had made some battle experience during the war, most of them had also been part of the DA and all of them were hoping that after all they had been through they would be able to obtain an 'O' in the subject.

When they asked her to teach them a particular hex that could be very useful in a duel, she refused, telling them that it was too dangerous to consider for a practical exercise. One of the boys had cried out in frustration.

"We nearly died last year as it is, Professor, it's not like we don't know what we're doing!"

"The fact that you nearly died is even more of a reason not to let you take an unnecessary risk now and it definitely does not mean that you know what you are doing."

There were more cries of frustration.

That day they all had to write a 30 inch essay on 'Classroom Security'.

Following this Professor Cruz talked a lot about wizarding wars and Hermione received more than one verbal lashing for pointing out that DADA was indeed not the same as History of Magic.

Another day the whole class had to serve detention with Filch, because Ernie MacMillan had asked their teacher where she had been during the second Voldemort war.

The more the class' frustration grew the more often they received supplementary work or even detention. It also caused Hermione to grow more and more anxious. Every time Professor Cruz gave out to the class or talked to them like a group of ignorant children she felt her wand-hand twitch. It wasn't like her to feel the urge to hex someone, but the professor was certainly going on her nerves and it made her feel paranoid talking about the war again. It automatically caused her go back to the state of constant alert that she had acquired while she was on the run with Harry and Ron.

Today Professor Cruz seemed to be in a particularly foul mood. Her lank blond hair was tied up to a bun similar to the one the headmistress wore, just that it didn't have the same effect. The way Professor McGonagall wore it somehow added to her strict demeanour and forced students to immediately spring to attention and quieten down respectfully when she was around. When the DADA teacher pulled up her hair in the same way it made her look like a muggle secretary.

Hermione sat down at her desk next to Ernie and sighed when Cruz started a lecture about useful wards. Her annoyance grew, when the professor mixed up the use of two different wards and then mispronounced another one. At the end of the lesson Hermione was so angry that she raised her hand to interrupt her teacher. She had never been known to be disrespectful towards a professor and she still didn't like breaking rules, but the blond woman had a way to stop her from thinking about those things. Too much was simply too much.

"Professor, may I suggest that we practice putting up those wards and then try to break each other's? From my own experience I can say that one's wards will only get stronger when they are put to a practical test and-"

"How dare you tell me how to teach a class, Miss Granger!" The DADA professor was almost shrieking and everyone was staring at her.

"I will not have you question my teaching methods any longer, enough is enough! All of you will write a 30 inch essay on protective spells for tomorrow. Class dismissed. Not you, Miss Granger!"

Hermione had bent down to pick up her bag and as everyone else rushed out the door she slowly straightened up again.

"Yes, Professor?" Her face was void of emotion and she silently counted to ten to pull up the walls in her mind and keep her anger at bay.

"Miss Granger you are the most intolerable student I have met during my teaching career and I honestly don't understand why the headmistress and the rest of the staff think so highly of you."

Hermione didn't even flinch; she had listened to far worse over the years, especially in Snape's class.

"I truly believe that all the praise has gotten to your head, I cannot think of any other explanation for your utterly disrespectful behaviour. Do explain to me, Miss Granger, why you are insisting so much on a practical class? The war is over, surely you know that."

Hermione opened her mouth to answer, her anger slowly rising again, but the woman in front of her didn't give her a chance.

"But maybe that's why. You don't want the war to be over, I'm sure you liked all the attention you got from the media, because you were part of the Golden Trio. Harry Potter's female sidekick. You must miss feeling important. So now you have to make yourself important by pretending to know more about Defence against the Dark Arts than even your teacher, even though you actually don't have a clue."

That moment Hermione completely lost it. She felt backed into a corner again and there had just been one accusation too much.

"Do you think I spent my last year away from school on holidays, Professor?", she spat. Her hair that was down today began to frizz with her anger and magic bristled around her although she was completely unaware.

"I know what I say when I talk about wards that you can't even tell apart because I put them up _every single day_ for an entire year! I know the war is over, but that doesn't mean that there isn't anything dangerous left out there, they haven't even caught all the remaining Death Eaters! What do you think will happen to us if we meet one of them out in the streets one day? How are we meant to defend ourselves if you don't even allow us to practice spells, because they are _too dangerous?_" Her voice took on a sarcastic tone at that remark.

"We survived a bloody war, Professor! Everyone that is in Hogwarts today fought for their lives last May! I bloody risked my life every year since I came to Hogwarts because I happened to be Harry Potter's _best friend_. I played real life wizard's chess, I was petrified by a basilisk, attacked by a troll and a werewolf, I was at the bottom of the black lake, in my fifth year I fought in the Department of Mysteries where a curse from Antonio Dolohov nearly killed me, I fought off the Death Eaters that invaded Hogwarts after Professor Dumbledore was murdered and last year I nearly died so many times I can't even count! I was eye to eye with Lord Voldemort and his damned snake Nagini and you don't even want to know what Bellatrix Lestrange did to me." She was practically hissing now, her magic almost visible in the air around her.

"I risked my life countless times and I don't know if I can ever forgive myself for some of the things I did."

"Miss Granger, reign your temper.", warned Cruz calmly.

"I will not and you will bloody well listen to me! I gave everything I had to end this war and I will never get back the things I sacrificed and you – _you_ – someone who won't even tell us where she was when we watched our friends die, think I didn't want the war to be over? You think I want attention? For the record, Professor, all I ever wanted was to learn things and do well in my NEWT's , but that was before I was dragged into a war, because some megalomaniac wanted to kill my best friend!"

"Please calm down, Miss Granger. I am sorry for what you had to go through, but that is no excuse to behave the way you do."

"OF COURSE IT IS!", she screamed, unconsciously letting go of the magic that flared around her. A surge of raw power ran through the room. The windows rattled, chairs broke, a few jars burst into pieces and Professor Cruz was flung against the wall.

**oxoxoxoxo**

"Where is Miss Granger?", Snape asked his NEWT class when he found her chair empty.

"She's with Professor Cruz, Sir." Pavarti Patil said.

Snape frowned. "And why would that be, Miss Patil?"

"She told Professor Cruz we should practice using wards and the professor snapped at her. She dismissed us but ordered Hermione to stay, Sir."

McGonagall had mentioned before that the new DADA teacher had complained about Hermione and he suddenly had a very bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"Well, I think I should inform Professor Cruz that she has no right to prevent students from being on time for my class.", he drawled.

"Open your books on page two-nine-three and take notes on antidotes. If the work isn't done properly there'll be detention for all of you."

With that he rushed out of the classroom, his cloak flattering angrily behind him. Taking a few short cuts he was able to reach the DADA classroom within a few minutes. When he rounded the corner he heard Hermione shout at Cruz. The door was locked and warded. He reached it and just as he started to break the spells he felt a surge of magic from inside. Feeling panic rise inside him he blast the door open and looked wide eyed at the scene before him.

**oxoxoxoxo**

Hermione was still too angry to care when she flung her professor across the classroom, even though she was surprised by the force of the magic that erupted from her.

Cruz recovered quickly and jumped up, her wand drawn. She didn't notice Snape in the room and neither did Hermione as she watched her teacher who looked as if she was about to hex her.

"How dare you use wandless magic on me!? You are not even allowed to know how to do that!"

Just then she noticed Snape. "This girl is dangerous, Severus! We must take her to Minerva immediately; I believe she suffers from severe psychological damage."

The young Gryffindor went to turn her back and move over to Severus for protection when the DADA professor directed her wand at her.

"Don't move!", she shrieked, sending a bunch of ropes flying towards Hermione.

Hermione's body had already been on alert and with the agility of a person that has survived a war she pulled her own wand and silently cast a _Diffindo _on the rope.

At the same time Severus had thrown up a shield and another spell that rooted his colleague to the spot.

"_Now_ I believe it is time to call the headmistress.", Severus whispered in an icy tone.

He sent out his patronus to alert Minerva and then turned to Hermione who was shaking all over.

Her eyes met his black ones and she wanted to throw herself into his arms, but knew she couldn't.

He softly took her arm and guided her outside.

"Are you okay?", he asked softly, pushing a few stray curls out of her face.

She shook her head, her brown eyes filled with tears.

"I'm so sorry.", she whispered, hanging her head. "I shouldn't have spoken to a professor like that, but… you should have heard the things she said to me. She said she thought I didn't want the war to end! I just… I just lost it." Finally looking at him he saw the panic in her eyes.

"Will I be expelled?"

He shook his head and squeezed her arm reassuringly. Opening his mouth to say something, he was interrupted when Minerva arrived.

"Severus, is everything alright?"

Snape turned around to look at the headmistress and shook his head. "No, I'm afraid not, Minerva."

He stepped aside and revealed Hermione's shaking form behind him, before pointing to the classroom in which Professor Cruz was swearing and shouting because she couldn't move.

McGonagall raised an eyebrow and entered the devastated classroom.

**oxoxoxoxo**

Ten minutes later they were all sitting in the headmistress' office. Hermione was holding a cup of tea in her still shaking hands. She had magically exhausted herself, even though she didn't care. She just wanted to know if they were going to throw her out.

Snape was standing close behind her, giving her all the comfort he could without taking her into his arms. Professor Cruz was staring daggers at them from another corner of the room and McGonagall was viewing the memories of the two parties in her personal pensieve, because Hermione had refused to repeat anything Cruz had said to her.

Finally Minerva emerged from the memories and looked around the room, lips pressed together in a thin line.

"Miss Granger, I am glad to tell you that I don't deem it necessary to expel you. However I will speak to you tomorrow. Now you should have a rest. Severus, would you please take her to her chambers?"

Snape nodded and did as he was told. Hermione followed him with a simple "Thank you" towards her former Head of House.

Minerva smiled as she watched the two of them leave. She had of course spoken to Albus and both agreed that for some reason or another the surly wizard had come to care for the young witch and his protective stance behind her didn't do anything to contradict that observation.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Hey guys, I will be going away for a few days tomorrow, so this'll have to do until I'm back :) Professor Cruz got a lot of hate from you, btw, but believe me when I say she's there for a reason. Please let me know what you think! xxx :)**

* * *

"Are you going to tell me what happened there?", he asked after a moment.

She sighed. "You should have just looked at the memory with Minerva."

He shook his head. "I would like to hear it from you. It seems to me Professor Cruz has hit a nerve with you."

She sighed again placing her head in her hands.

"I'd rather not talk about it, but I'm sure you won't leave me alone until I tell you."

"That is correct."

Hermione looked at him and gave in.

"Well, Cruz' is been going on my nerve since the very first day. She thinks because the war is over we don't need any more practical experience. She won't even let us try the simplest hex, because she thinks it's too dangerous so instead she makes us fill roles of parchment with unnecessary things like classroom safety and past wars and every time I tell her that it's not History of Magic but Defence against the Dark Arts she nearly bites my head off. The whole class is annoyed with her. We told her repeatedly that we all have combat experience but she just doesn't trust us to do anything. At some point even I wanted to hex her."

Snape was about to make a sarcastic comment, but bit his tongue. No need to put his finger in the wound.

"So today she started talking about wards and she even got some of them wrong so I got really annoyed and asked if we could practice setting and breaking wards and she told everyone to get out and started to give out to me."

She repeated everything the teacher had said to her and watched as Severus raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

"Well and then I just completely lost it, because I was so angry… no actually furious, and all this magic came bursting out of me and threw her across the room. It was like those things that happen when you are a child and don't know how to deal with your magic, but I guess it was just a wandless spell."

Snape cocked his head to the side and thought about that. "I guess it was, but it was uncontrolled. Has that ever happened before?"

"Not since I'm at Hogwarts. Then again I wasn't that angry since Umbridge."

The potions master chuckled. "That was one infuriating witch. And so is Cruz." She had started to call him Severus and didn't even ask for permission. It was downright rude. He put a hand on Hermione's arm. "What she said to you wasn't fair and believe me you are a lot more than Harry's sidekick. If it hadn't been for his scar he would have been yours."

Hermione rolled her eyes and gave a small smile.

"Do not worry too much about McGonagall tomorrow, she will simply ask you to control your temper. It will be difficult, I am sure, but don't let Cruz get to you. For now you need to rest. Wandless magic can be quiet exhausting, especially when it is uncontrolled."

She groaned. "I hadn't noticed."

He smirked at her and pulled her off the sofa, not too surprised when she wrapped her arms around him. He could feel that she was still a bit shaky and he felt anger towards Cruz flare inside him.

Gently pushing her away from him he softly smiled at her.

"Go get some rest. You need it."

She suddenly seemed unsettled. "Can't we go down and brew something?"

"Hermione, look at your hands, you wouldn't even manage to cut a flobberworm the way you are shaking."

"Please, I need to calm down."

He shook his head. "You can come down later, after you have taken a nap."

She shook her head reverently and suddenly it dawned on him what was wrong.

"Why are you so terrified of sleeping again?", he asked and she saw the concern in his eyes.

A tear ran down her cheek as she struggled to control her emotions.

"I always know what dream is coming. It's… it's like a pattern that repeats itself…"

He frowned. "You never mentioned that before."

She shrugged. "It's not like it's important… But… I have an idea what dream is waiting for me tonight and after all that's happened… It will be much worse." Her voice broke and she started to shiver.

Later Snape realised that he could have just used the sleeping spell on her, but at that moment he just wanted to be there for the young witch.

"Would it help if I stayed here?"

Her eyes widened. "What about your class?"

A corner of his mouth lifted. "They were told to take notes on antidotes and class is nearly over as it is anyway."

"Won't you get in trouble for being in my rooms?"

That got her a full smile. "I'm only ensuring you're alright, or did you have something inappropriate in mind?"

Hermione blushed furiously and stared at him in disbelief. Was he flirting with her?

"No, no.", she answered quickly, turning away from him. _Get a grip, Granger, he's your teacher!_

Biting her lip she thought about his offer. Finally she looked at him again and he could see a flash of Gryffindor bravery in her eyes.

"It would help if you stayed."

He nodded and ushered her towards her bathroom. "Go change and then to bed with you."

She put out her tongue to him, but did as she was told. When she returned from the bathroom she found him sitting in her armchair in her bedroom reading a book.

He looked her over in her pyjamas and she blushed again. Quickly she disappeared under the covers much like the time he cast the spell on her.

She closed her eyes but after a moment she peeked out at him again, feeling that she was being watched.

"Sleep, Miss Granger. I'll be right here."

She nodded and turned her back on him feeling a little bit awkward, because she needed him to watch her in her sleep. Suddenly a bit of his herby scent wafted over to her and she immediately felt herself relax. No need to be embarrassed. He had offered after all and this way she would get some much needed rest.

Severus watched in awe as she slowly drifted off to sleep. He couldn't believe just how much she trusted him. She wasn't the only one who had felt slightly uncomfortable, but he repeatedly told himself that McGonagall would never know and there was no reason to feel guilty either. He was simply watching over his student.

**oxoxoxoxo**

About two hours later Severus was interrupted in his reading by a silent whimper. He looked up to find Hermione trashing around in her bed restlessly. For the fraction of a second he felt tempted to use legilimency on her to see what dream had her so horrified, but it wouldn't be right. She would have to tell him herself.

Quickly he moved over to the bed and started shaking her to wake her.

"Hermione. Hermione, wake up!"

She sucked in air and sat up straight on her bed, nearly head bumping her professor. Her eyes were unfocused much like the last time he had woken her from a dream.

Hermione was still looking around for her wand to defend herself when she realised that she was looking at Snape and not Bellatrix. Relief mixed in with the pain, but she found that she had trouble breathing. Pictures from her dream flashed before her eyes. Bellatrix, cackling over her body that was writhing in pain. Rows of Death Eaters behind her, cheering her on, amongst them the faces of Antonio Dolohov and, to her surprise, Itana Cruz. Blood filled her mouth and she was choking…

A soft baritone voice brought her back. "Breathe, Hermione. In. Out. Count to ten. Concentrate. Focus on the present until everything else ceases to exist. Now look at me."

She met his black eyes that were warmer than usual. He pushed her messy curls out of her face with his cool fingers. "You need to let go.", he whispered, eyes burning into hers. "Let go of your pain, your fear. No one will hurt you."

He heard her breath hitch in her throat and his stomach did another little flip. A tear ran down her cheek and he pulled her into him.

Hermione clung to him while she cried, bathing in his comfort and warmth. She never wanted to let go of him. For her the only safe place on earth was in his arms, but she could never tell him that. It wouldn't be fair. He was still her professor after all. She noticed that he was humming in her ear again and the soft vibrations of his voice carried her away from the pain, lifting her up and out of her misery.

Sometime later she finally raised her head from the folds of his cloak.

Snape gave her an almost-smile and handed her a handkerchief. She wiped her tearstained face while his arm remained around her waist.

"I didn't mean to cry all over your robes.", she murmured, turning away and feeling a bit ashamed.

"It doesn't matter. How do you feel?"

She shrugged, blushing. "Better. The pain… it's not gone, but it's tucked away in a corner so I should be fine for a while."

He watched her intently for a moment. They really needed to do something to get her over all those things that haunted her.

"Would you like to go brew something?", he asked after a moment.

She bit her lip and nodded.

"What are you waiting for so?", he asked in a rough tone and shooed her out of bed.

She giggled and got up.

"Is there something you find amusing, Miss Granger?", he snarled in his best teacher voice. To his surprise she outright laughed at him and poked him in the chest.

"Yes; you."

He scowled at her. Hermione looked at him for a moment and then told herself that she didn't care he was still her professor. She moved forward and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

"Thank you for making me feel better."

Hadn't she turned around that quickly, she would have realised that she had just managed to render the potions master speechless _and_ make him blush.

Snape followed her with his eyes as she left the room and wondered what he had done to allow the young woman to see right through his snarky attitude. _That's what you get when you're nice to people._, he chastised himself. Then again, he wasn't a spy anymore. There was nothing wrong with being nice to people. Especially Hermione.

**oxoxoxoxo**

On the way down to the dungeons they managed not to meet anyone, but they were probably all at dinner. Hermione suddenly remembered that she had never gotten to ask Severus how he had send her that message during breakfast to tell her she had forgotten to put on her glamours.

When they reached the lab she asked him.

He closed the door behind her and something akin to pride flashed across his face before he turned away, busying himself with putting up a cauldron.

"It is a modified patronus. I invented it. You send out your patronus with a message like everyone does, but at the same time it adds disillusionment charms and a muffliato. Thus only the intended person gets to hear the message, but if you do not want them to they will not see it and neither will anyone else. It is very handy to send a discreet message."

He turned to face her again, his face impassive.

"Can you teach me?", she asked curiously.

Snape looked her over again and nodded slowly. "Yes, but not today. You are magically exhausted and your lack of sleep makes matters worse. I will show you tomorrow if you wish."

Their eyes met and Hermione blushed for no reason. Usually she wasn't a blushing person, but around Severus she always felt as if she had a head like a tomato.

"Yes, please."

He gave a curt nod and after considering the workbench for a moment he started to set up more cauldrons.

"I have a lot of potions to brew for St. Mungo's and Poppy, would you like to help me make them instead of our usual class?"

She chewed on her lip. She loved brewing with his guidance the way they usually did, but today she primarily needed to calm down and doing some brewing on her own would be just right.

"That would be perfect."

He conjured a long scroll of parchment and charmed it to hover in between the two benches he had prepared for them.

Hermione curiously looked at the list of potions on the scroll. She pretty much knew how to make all of them, but there really were a lot of them.

"I never realised that you supplied St. Mungo's."

He shrugged. "There has always been a small number of potion masters and without wanting to sound like Gilderoy Lockhart, I must admit that I am the best one you can find in Britain at the moment. I don't know many foreign potioneers, but I should think that it would be difficult for most of them to compete with me as well."

Hermione rolled her eyes and he smirked at her, while wandlessly summoning a batch of empty glass bottles.

"You should be proud, Miss Granger, after all you are learning from the best. Anyway, the head of St. Mungo's approached me years ago and I have been brewing most of their potions since then. Sometimes I also brew for the Ministry, but they have their own resident potion masters."

He ushered her towards her desk.

"Now. If you feel comfortable you may start brewing a second potion while working on the first one, but mind you, it's me you will face if you mess up your potion and I promise I will make you clean the entire lab without magic if you do so. Understood?"

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, _Professor_."

He ignored her and pointed towards the parchment. "This is the list with everything I need to brew. Before you start a potion cross it off. If you do not know how to make a potion ask or leave it to me. If you are unsure about the ingredients…"

He summoned a black leather notebook. "Every recipe you could possibly need is written here. You can rely on the instructions, I have written it all myself. It's charmed to open on the proper page so all you need to do is name the potion you are looking for."

He placed it on an empty desk next to her.

"Ready to start? Let me know if you need a break or something to eat, this will take a while."

She nodded and looked at the first potion on the list. Pepper-up potion. She knew how to make it off by heart so she crossed it off and looked over to Severus who was opposite her. He smirked and crossed the next five potions off. Hermione stared in disbelief at the five cauldrons in front of him.

"I can handle seven if I have to.", he commented before moving over to the store room. She followed him, shaking her head.

"I never even thought about handling two cauldron's at a time, not to mention seven!"

"You of all people, Miss Granger", he said dryly. "Should know that there is always something you can learn or improve."

She laughed and stretched to reach the jar with mandrake root. A robe-covered arm reached over her shoulder and pulled it down for her.

"You do have a wand you know.", Severus mumbled into her ear.

She giggled and took the jar from his hand. "Thank you. You do too, by the way."

He stared at her and she smirked in a way that reminded him of himself.

Sighing he levitated his ingredients before him and followed Hermione back into the lab.

They started to brew in silence and the young Gryffindor looked up from her cauldron every now and again to watch in awe as the professor handled his five bubbling potions.

Some six potions each later, Hermione decided that she was up to the challenge of brewing two things at a time.

She set up one cauldron for Skele-Gro and the other for a simple strength potion. The Skele-Gro was rather difficult, but there was not a lot that could go wrong with the strength potion. Confidently she counted to ten to refocus herself and didn't even notice Severus watch her intently.

He was amazed by the sudden change in her demeanour. She had been working very professionally until now, brewing excellent potions that were almost up to his fastidious standards ( nothing that worried him, because none of the potions they were making required to be absolutely perfect and Hermione needed a chance to practice ), but when she set up the second cauldron, her attitude completely changed.

Obviously, he knew that she was using his method to focus herself, but it astounded him nonetheless when he noticed a passionate glint in her eyes as she completely lost herself in her work. She had taken on the stance of a proper potions master, her back rigid, head slightly bent and focused on the cauldron. A small smile appeared on his face. She had progressed to the next level of brewing and if she continued like this she was on the best way to become a real potioneer. Albus war right, he really should take her as his apprentice, but first she had some problems to sort through.

Later, she proudly placed the strength potion and the Skele-Gro on the table with the finished potions. Severus picked up the Skele-Gro to check it and then gave her an almost-smile.

"If I had known I had to give you a challenge to improve your standard of brewing, I would have given you two cauldrons a week ago."

"Why, Professor, are you complementing my brewing skills?", she asked with mock disbelief.

"This potion is perfect, Miss Granger. You should be proud of yourself.", he drawled.

"We should take a break now.", he added after a glance at the clock.

With that he called for a house-elf and minutes later they were seated in their usual armchairs, eating sandwiches and drinking tea.

"I got a letter from Harry today.", Hermione said quietly after a moment.

Snape raised an eyebrow at her, encouraging her to continue.

"He asked to meet in Hogsmeade on Saturday. Apparently he wants to catch up, but I have a feeling Ginny told him to have a chat with me, because I'm not talking to them." She sighed. "Ginny and Luna will definitely join us afterwards, because Neville will be coming as well. I really don't know if I should go."

He watched her for a moment, while she nibbled on her sandwich. "Don't you want to give your friends another chance? After all, it seems as if they are trying to help you."

"But they won't be able to!", she snapped.

Anyone else would have gotten a month of detention for speaking to him in that tone.

"Why would you think they won't be able to help you? As your friends they should know you best.", he inquired softly, trying to calm her down a bit.

Hermione shook her head reverently. "They know me _longest_, there's a big difference. If I told them about my nightmares, they wouldn't understand. They wouldn't understand that I can't just forget, because that's what they are doing. Harry is drowning himself in work and Ginny is focused on making sure Harry is fine. Luna is off in her own world, simply accepting what has happened and going on with her life. On the weekends she meets with Neville if he can get away from his auror training. They all have each other and I'm left feeling like the spare wheel. I have no one."

She wiped her eyes angrily, not wanting to cry again.

"What about Mr Weasely?", he asked, hesitatingly.

Hermione fell silent for a moment, and Severus was about to change the subject, knowing she didn't want to talk about Weasely, when she started to speak.

"Ron and I were an item over the summer. Well technically we still are, we never really finished our relationship, but I dunno… It's on hiatus I guess. I had a crush on him for ages, and when we kissed for the first time during the final battle it felt… right. But after, when we decided to give us a go, something changed. Maybe it's because we knew we were going to see the next day. Maybe, because Ron liked all the girls that were suddenly paying him attention, now that he's a war hero. All I wanted was some stability in my life, some comfort and I really thought Ron could give me that. That's probably why I stayed with him, even when I got hate messages from all the girls that had a fancied him and wanted me out of the way. The worst part was that he didn't even try to defend me, when they said nasty things to me in the street. He just laughed. I think that's when I finally started to see sense. We had a row the first time he laughed about the things they said to me. He was all like 'c'mon 'mione, don't be like that, it's really funny!'. Afterwards it really wasn't the same anymore. He began to be really mean about it, telling me not to be a baby, when I broke down one day because of all the hateful things I listened to and cried. Eventually he asked me if I was going to take the job the ministry offered me, because he and Harry had already registered for the auror training. I told him I wanted to go back to Hogwarts and he got extremely angry. He didn't want me to go, because we would hardly see each other and we had a massive fight. In the end I told him we should take a break until after I finished school, because the way he was behaving there was no hope our relationship was going to work."

She looked up at Snape whose face was a mask of calm.

"He doesn't know about my nightmares, he never noticed, even though I woke up screaming one night. He thought it was because of a bloody spider."

She shook her head in disbelief, wiping her eyes again. "All I wanted was to have someone to rely on, but I think the Ronald Weasely I fell for disappeared some time last year. Then again, the Hermione he wants me to be never really existed."

The potion master reached out to squeeze her arm, trying to offer some comfort. "I always knew Weasely was a prick."

She tried to laugh but it was choked by tears. Snape made a move to take her in his arms, but she pulled back.

"I thought you needed comfort.", he said, trying not to let the pang of rejection he felt show.

"I know you don't like hugging people.", she managed to get out.

He snorted. "True. I do not enjoy hugging people, but you are not people. You are Hermione and I want to help you. So please let me."

Seconds later she fell into his arms and he pulled her tight, feeling relieved.

"I always cry around you!", she complained into his chest.

"Not always.", he mumbled, before burying his face in her soft curls. He felt her shudder and tightened his embrace when she tried to move even closer. Silently he promised to ensure that she would learn to smile again.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Hey guys, I'm back! Thank you all for you reviews and follows, I'm always happy to see that people like my story :) Special thanks to xxxxILoveSiriusBlackxxxx, because I can't do this personally and you seriously give some of the most amazing reviews! Of course that doesn't mean I don't love everyone elses reviews, but I can thank you individually :) Anyway, this chapter is the longest yet, so I'll leave you to it! Let me know what you think xxx :)**

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They brewed until late into the night. At around two Snape decided to call it a day, but he still had to practically drag Hermione away from her cauldrons.

"I see Potter isn't the only one that's drowning themselves in work."

She shrugged. "It's my preferred kind of therapy."

He met her bold gaze and felt his heart skip a beat.

When he finally convinced her to go to bed, after drinking a steaming cup of camomile tea in the vain attempt to calm her and prevent more nightmares from haunting her, she gave him a shy hug.

He made a face and she laughed.

"It's your own fault for telling me you didn't mind giving me hugs."

Snape growled and shooed her out of the room, before warding the door after them. Hermione had told him repeatedly she could find her way to her chambers on her own, but he insisted on escorting her.

"Cruz has patrols tonight!", he snapped when she wouldn't give in. That shut her up.

When they arrived at the lake-portrait, Severus gave her a curious look.

"What?"

He shook his head. "It's just that you seem to be rather confident around me. You used to be the same in class, but what I have heard from Minerva, you have become rather quiet."

She shrugged. "I feel uncomfortable being the centre of attention. It's probably because of all the newspaper articles. Have you any idea how horrible it is to see your face on the front of the paper every morning? I can understand now why Harry was so upset at times."

Severus gave a dry laugh. "I ensure you I know too well what it feels like. Lucius, Draco and me used to have a bet going whether it was going to be a positive or a negative article."

Hermione rolled her eyes, even though the image of Lucius and Draco Malfoy joking around with Severus Snape was quite strange.

They stared at each other in silence for a moment, until the young witch sighed. "I should really go to bed. Although I really don't want to."

Severus chuckled. He bent over to push her curls behind her ear and she realised that she hadn't paid any attention as to how messy they were. She must look positively horrifying. The professor tore her from her thoughts.

"Peaceful dreams, Hermione.", he whispered, his breath tickling her neck.

He pulled away and looked at her for another second, before turning on his heel and leaving her. She watched as he disappeared around the corner and felt her face flush. Her emotions were all over the place. Between pain, anger and loneliness there was now also some sort of affectionate feelings for her snarky Potions Master, also known as the greasy git and bat of the dungeons. What the hell was she getting herself into?

Desperately wanting to concentrate on something other than her inner tornado of feelings she went straight to bed.

**oxoxoxoxo**

Hermione was back in the woods running from the Snatchers. She could hear Harry and Ron's laboured breathing as they followed close behind her. She narrowly avoided a tree and jumped over a fallen trunk. Hearing something swoosh in the air, she let herself fall to the ground and roll down a small hill. There were leaves in her face, mouth and nose and suddenly she noticed that she didn't stop falling. She just kept going down and down into nothingness.

Jolting upright in bed once again, she found that it was nearly time to get up. Sighing she read over her Arithmancy homework before going for a shower, hoping that the latter would relax her tense shoulder muscles.

**oxoxoxoxo**

Later at breakfast a tired-looking Hermione sat in her usual seat at the Gryffindor table and noticed Ginny and Luna excitedly discussing something. She was reminded of Harry's invitation. She still had to send him a reply. Admitting to herself that she missed her friend, she decided that it might be a good idea to meet him. After all, if something went wrong she knew now she had Severus to talk to. Her musings were interrupted when she received a message from McGonagall, asking her to come to the headmistress' office after breakfast. Automatically looking up to the staff table she became aware of Professor Cruz sneering at her and noticed that Snape in turn was glaring at the DADA professor.

Feeling bold, she raised an eyebrow at Cruz and glanced over to Snape when she saw the other professor turn away. He noticed her raised eyebrow and raised his own, the corner of his mouth quirking almost unnoticeably. Hermione relaxed and smiled back, before returning her attention to her slice of toast. For a moment her worries were forgotten.

**oxoxoxoxo**

Half an hour later she made her way to the gargoyle. "Catnip.", she told the statue and it moved aside. She had had to supress a smile when she was told the password; it reminded her of the random passwords Dumbledore had chosen over the years.

Ascending on the turning staircase she knocked on the heavy wooden door to the headmistress' office minutes later.

"Come in."

The curly haired witch entered tentatively not quite sure what to expect. To her surprise she found Snape sitting in a visitors chair across from McGonagall sipping a cup of tea. He met her eyes, but his face was expressionless.

"Miss Granger, my dear, please have a seat. Would you like a cup of tea?"

She wanted to ask if she had misread the invitation and this was indeed a tea party, but as soon as the thought crossed her mind she dismissed it and politely accepted Minerva's offer. When had she started to come up with sarcastic remarks and further felt the urge to drawl them out in a way too Snape-like fashion? Surly she was spending too much time in the dark wizard's company. Or maybe it was just a side-effect of not being able to cope with one's past.

Sighing she took a sip of her tea, that wasn't quite as delicious as the one she shared with Severus in the evenings. She should really ask him where he got it from. And she should really start to focus, because the headmistress was starting to talk to her.

"I hope you are feeling better, dear. I was going to tell you about Severus being involved with this last night, but you seemed so upset, that I thought it best for you to rest first."

"She also forgot to tell _me_.", Severus added, a scowl appearing on his face.

"But why _are_ you here?", Hermione asked, slightly confused.

"You are missing the obvious again, Miss Granger.", he drawled in reply, and McGonagall shot him a warning glance.

"I had to ask Professor Snape to give an assessment of your actions and attitude in order to determine your punishment. It is normally a task that falls to your head of house, but unfortunately this position is currently occupied by Professor Cruz herself. Therefore I had to find someone else to do it. As your former head of house I would have been the next best choice, but because I am to judge this as the headmistress of Hogwarts I can't do it either. Thus, I decided to leave this task to Professor Snape. Due to him giving you extra classes he should know you best out of all the professors. He has just confirmed this quite remarkably."

Hermione frowned and felt the panic rise when she thought about all the things the professor could have possibly told the headmistress. Had she been wrong to trust him after all?

She noticed his hand move, as if he wanted to squeeze her arm reassuringly, but he suddenly seemed to remember where they were, so he just looked at her intently. This didn't go unnoticed by McGonagall and Severus noticed her eyes twinkle knowingly. His scowl deepened.

"What did he tell you?", Hermione almost whispered and unconsciously started to chew on her bottom lip.

"He told me that you were an incredibly bright witch that is very passionate and loyal to those she holds dear, but not known to easily lose her temper."

The young witch raised an eyebrow.

"He further told me that he has discovered you to be a fiercely private person that has some trouble wrapping her head around certain things. He also informed me that should I wish to learn more about those things I would have to ask you personally, because he would not break his promise to keep everything you shared with him a secret."

Hermione looked over to Severus and he noticed the emotional sparkle in her eye. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and thank him properly, but that would have to wait. Still, she suddenly realised that the man next to her had the most amazing personality that she had ever encountered, at least when they were in private. He was everything that she had always looked for in people; caring, understanding, criticising and trustworthy. He was also the proof that not everyone was like Ron, for he respected her wishes and by not telling McGonagall about her problems he made her realise that there was at least one person out there that didn't betray her at the first opportunity.

Hermione stared straight into Severus' black eyes. Her amber ones appeared to be on fire, while she was desperately trying to convey to him what she was feeling.

McGonagall was observing the two from her seat behind her desk. The look they shared was so private and intimate that the headmistress was compelled to turn away.

Finally Hermione looked away and swallowed hard, trying to get a grip on her welling emotions.

"What would you like to know, Professor?", she asked quietly after she had properly composed herself.

The headmistress considered this for a moment.

"Is there anything you would like to talk to me about?"

To her surprise the curly-haired witch giggled, even though there were tears glistening in her eyes.

"Professor Dumbledore used to ask Harry the same question."

"Is there anything you would like to tell me, though, Miss Granger?", the headmistress insisted.

Hermione sighed, pushing some errand hair out of her face. "I'm having a bit of a hard time settling back into the normal world, now that the war is over.", Hermione finally admitted.

Severus next to her suddenly clenched his jaw, feeling overwhelmed with the need to drag Hermione out of the room to prevent her from telling the headmistress what she had told him. He knew he was being possessive for absolutely no reason, but he just didn't want the Gryffindor to confide into McGonagall the way she had in him. He had to admit that their relationship – friendship or whatever it was they had – meant the world to him and he didn't want anyone else to interfere.

McGonagall's gaze moved between the two of them before finally settling on Hermione.

"And has this anything to do with yesterday's events?"

Hermione shrugged. "I suppose so. I think Professor Cruz just hit a nerve. Well, maybe that's the wrong way to put it, but she accused me of things that I simply just couldn't take – as you saw in my memory."

She glanced over at Severus for support and noticed his rigid posture. She wished she was alone with him telling _him_ this, and not McGonagall.

"It's as if my wounds from the war haven't healed yet and Professor Cruz put her finger right into it."

The headmistress considered this for a moment and sighed. "Well, see, Hermione, the problem is that I can't just let you go unpunished for throwing a teacher against a wall. I also have to determine how a similar situation between you and Professor Cruz can be avoided in future. So tell me, do you think there is anything that can be done to help you solve whatever issues you are having after the war?"

Hermione looked over at Severus again, not sure if she should reveal the nature of their extra-classes. He was staring straight ahead, not looking at anything in particular. Biting her lip she decided a non-committal answer would be best.

"I'm not sure there is anything that can be done, but to give it time, Professor. However, I do feel quite comfortable talking to Professor Snape and I'm sure that should I ever need to get anything of my chest, he'll lend me his ear."

Snape huffed at her ornate choice of words and didn't say anything.

"Would you, Severus?", the headmistress inquired carefully, a frown appearing on her forehead.

"If I must.", he scoffed. Hermione felt a pang in her chest now convinced that she had done something to offend him.

"Very well then.", the older witch conceded. "Miss Granger, I hope you find a month of detention with Professor Snape to be an appropriate punishment. You will spend an hour with him every evening prior to your extra classes. Be aware that as your head of house, Professor Cruz might come and check on you during those periods. At the end of the month, Professor Snape will inform me of your progress in regard to your attitude towards Professor Cruz, as you must change it drastically. Understood?"

The two of them nodded and McGonagall gave a wry smile. "Well, then, you may leave, otherwise you will be late for your next class."

Snape nodded and practically ran out the door, but in a more dignified way. Hermione uttered a quick thanks to the headmistress and hurried after him. He was already half way down the corridor when she reached the bottom of the staircase.

"Se- Professor Snape! Please, may I have a word?", she called after him, slowing her pace from running to a fast walk when she saw him stop.

"What is it?", he snarled and she stopped dead in her tracks about a meter away from him, taken aback.

"What have I done?", she asked softly, tears glistening in her eyes again.

Snape felt a pang of guilt and tried to cover it up with his usual harsh demeanour.

"Not here.", he huffed and briskly pulled her into an alcove. He was acutely aware of the young witch's closeness; her delicious scent was enveloping him.

"What have I done?", she repeated, almost pleading.

Snape rubbed his face with his hand in frustration, chastising himself for his own thoughts that were turning more and more inappropriate by the minute.

"You have done nothing wrong.", he grumbled.

"Then why are you being like this?" Hermione suddenly felt as if she was choking and a single tear ran down her cheek.

Severus felt a terrified expression spread across his face at the sight of the tear, but quickly pulled up his usual mask of calm. Yet, before he realised what he was doing he brushed the sign of her upset away with his thumb.

"Shh, it's nothing to do with you, it's me. I'm being stupid."

She frowned. "But why? It must have been something I said."

He shook his head. "No… Well, kind of. It's more what came to my mind in response to what you said."

He swallowed and bit his tongue. For some reason he was unable to not explain to her and so he found himself blurting out the truth.

"When you started to tell Minerva about your problems… Ah this is ridiculous, I'm being completely unreasonable!", he growled in frustration, raking his hand through his hair. Hermione was looking at him wide-eyed, trying to understand what on earth had the professor so worked up.

"I did not want you to tell her. I did not want you to share with her what you shared with me. I was being possessive, I am still, but I have no right. I just… I want this to be about you and me, without anyone interfering. And when I realised what I was thinking I got angry at myself, because I…. argh… I am not an unreasonable man!", he snapped and then sighed in annoyance. "I'm sorry. Don't judge me, please. I just don't want to mess this up. After all I'm meant to be helping you."

He tried to turn away from her, but she grabbed his sleeve.

"Severus, listen. I don't care if you are being possessive, because I will not let anyone reduce me to a possession no matter what. And if it eases your mind, I do not intend to tell anyone else about my problems, because right now you're the best medicine I got. Why change something if it is working? When you didn't tell McGonagall… That meant the world to me. You might have just solved my trust issues."

He raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

"You respect my wishes and you have proven that I can trust you. Right now you are the only person for whom I can truly say that."

Snape felt his heart skip a beat and his stomach flipped.

"I'm glad I can be of assistance.", he mumbled, shifting uncomfortably. Her admitting that she trusted him did nothing to diminish his inappropriate thoughts.

Hermione reached out to squeeze his arm. "It is appreciated.", she smirked, but suddenly becoming aware that he had gone rigid again, she sighed.

"You know, it's really frustrating how you can go from caring to be ice-cold. Would you please do me a favour?"

He raised an eyebrow, trying to remain impassive.

"Will you stop worrying about what is appropriate and what is not and forget that you are my teacher? I don't care what you are, as long as you are there for me. Oh, and for the record, I'm of age."

She instantly blushed, realising what implications that last statement could have. Suddenly their gazes locked and she saw Snape's mask falling.

His eyes that had been hard as obsidian before now became softer and almost soothing. In Hermione's mind their colour represented comfort. Severus on the other hand found that he had never seen anything as beautiful as the curly-haired witch's sparkling amber eyes.

It was at that exact moment that both of them felt something fall into place inside them and they realised that something greater than friendship might grow between them.

Hermione swallowed hard and Severus cleared his voice, before he finally answered in a low voice "I shall try my best."

She smiled and suddenly found herself enveloped by a pair of strong arms. Severus just couldn't resist embracing her and he felt a smile creep across his face when he felt her relax against him.

After a moment he reluctantly let go of her.

"You really need to get to class."

She nodded and sighed. "I'll see you tonight, I guess."

"Yes, but an hour early, you have gotten yourself detention after all."

Hermione growled. "Damn Cruz! When does everyone expect me to do my homework?"

He chuckled deeply and pushed her hair out of her eyes. "Don't worry, you'll get it done no problem."

She gave him a curious look and then quickly walked away from him, not wanting to be on the receiving end of Professor Vector's wrath.

Snape watched her hurry down the corridor; once again wondering what on earth that witch was doing to him.

**oxoxoxoxo**

At eight pm sharp Hermione reported to Snape for detention. He smirked and told her to clean the cauldrons, before refocusing on grading first year papers. She frowned at him.

"Seeing that you didn't specify how I should clean them…"

He met her gaze and raised an eyebrow. "You are paying attention, Miss Granger, very good. Now clean those cauldrons so you can get your homework done and we may turn to more valuable distractions."

Hermione felt her face flush and with a flick of her wand she rendered all the cauldrons perfectly clean, before turning back to Snape's desk. "I'm finished, Sir."

He didn't even look up from his parchment. "Let me know if you need assistance with your homework.", he mumbled distractedly and Hermione grinned. Never had detention with Professor Snape been this easy.

For the next hour they sat in companionable silence going about their respective work. At first Hermione had felt a little bit awkward after what had happened between them in the morning, but when Snape didn't act any different than usual, she started to calm down and relax. She had to admit that working around her potions professor was easier than she had expected and she certainly felt a lot more at ease than she ever had doing her study around other students, half of which were trying to get her to do their homework.

Considering Snape's earlier offer for help, she cleared her voice to get his attention after finishing her charms essay.

He looked up at her, eyebrows raised.

"If you were to reverse a concealing charm would you rather use _aparecium _or _specialis revelio_?"

She could see the raven-haired wizard carefully choose his words. "If I was suspecting something to be concealed I would first consider the expected nature of the concealment charm that has been used, before making a decision on the proper incantation. But assuming I am lacking that kind of information I would simply use both."

Hermione grinned proudly. "That's what I said."

Severus chuckled. "What was the question?", he inquired after scrutinising the long roll of parchment that was filled with her small, neat handwriting.

"Professor Flitwick asked us to compare the use of two reversal spells for concealment and to come to a conclusion of which is more effective to use. Obviously they are all just as effective if used on the correct charm."

"Ah, I see Filius must think your class is rather lacking dunderheads if he gives you such a trick question."

It was Hermione's turn to giggle. "Well, lucky me, I didn't fall into the trap."

Severus gave her an intense look and to her surprise a genuine smile appeared on his face. "I am relieved to see that you are slowly recovering your confidence. I was already worried the incident with Cruz would have taken a larger toll on you."

She turned her gaze to her sheet and bit her lip. "I'm not sure and you know we talked about this yesterday… Ask any of my professors and you will notice that it's not the case outside this room."

Snape sighed. "I am sorry, Hermione."

Her head snapped back up and she met his eyes incredulously. "What for?"

"I want to help you, but I don't think I am."

The young witch growled in frustration. "Of course you are! Don't ever think what you are doing isn't helping, because right now it's the only thing keeping me sane. If you must know, my nightmares were a little less terrifying before that bloody woman decided to have a go at me."

The professor gave her an almost smile. "I am glad to hear. Tell me if there is any more I can do."

Hermione watched him carefully for a moment. She still wondered some times, how long it would take for Snape to turn back into his rude self and throw her out of his classroom with a sarcastic remark relating to her gullibility.

He slowly got up from his chair and stretched before summoning the list with the potions they still needed to brew.

"Would you like to continue with this?"

She smiled and packed away her stuff.

"I guess this means todays detention is over?"

He scowled at her. "Do you have to ask?"

She grinned, but it faltered when she suddenly remembered something. "What are we going to do if Cruz ever comes to check on me?"

Snape actually rolled his eyes. "Don't worry about it; if the case arises I will handle it. I would only ask you to try and refrain from losing your temper. Now, are you going to make the Anti-Paralysis Potion or the Cough Potion?"

Hermione hid a smile. "Cough Potion."

"Thank God."

She frowned at him. "Why?"

"I think I might possibly die of boredom if I would have to brew it again."

It was her turn to roll her eyes and she went to the store room to collect her ingredients.

"You know, I am very impressed that you know all these off by heart.", the potions master commented a moment later when she started to prepare her cauldron.

She just shrugged. "You know them, too. And I realised that things go a lot smoother if I don't have to check the recipe every two seconds."

"Well, everyone else seems to be doing so.", he replied with a hint of frustration.

She raised an eyebrow and quipped "Would you expect me to do what everyone else does? I must say I am disappointed."

"My apologies, Miss Granger. For a moment it slipped my mind that you are in fact an insufferable know-it-all."

She bristled, and Snape felt a little bit disquieted when he sensed her magic pulse around her. Luckily she calmed when she noticed the mirth in his eyes and realised that he was teasing her.

Blushing she turned to her cauldron and started her potion. He noticed that her movements had become more fluid around the workbench, and he felt a sense of pride rising within him.

Two finished potions later and working on the third one, Severus suddenly looked over to Hermione through a cloud of steam rising from his cauldrons. "In your essay, did you consider that some people believe that _specialis revelio_ is actually related to _aparecium_?"

The curly haired witch didn't look up from her potion for a moment, but when she did her eyes were sparkling with excitement.

"Yes, I actually did some light reading during my free period and found a book that discussed the magical properties of charms. I did some tests on both spells and it seems that _specialis revelio_ is simply an altered version of _aparecium_. They changed some simple arithmantic equations and that way _specialis revelio_ will work best on objects that have been charmed to be concealed only under certain conditions. I just wonder why no one ever proved that they are related, it wasn't very difficult."

Suddenly noticing a few bubbles on the right hand side of her cauldron she quickly added some flobberworm mucous, before looking up at her professor again. The steam was stinging in her eyes and she tried to wave it away from her with her hand without success. Snape only watched her for a few seconds, before charming the steam to rise to the side and away from them. He didn't even bother pulling out his wand.

"Well, Miss Granger, not many people bother to study anti-concealment charms and when they do, they might not publish their results. Furthermore, there are only a handful of people that know how to run tests on a spell's properties. I am quite surprised that you do, although I guess I shouldn't be. I do believe however that it is not on the syllabus of any of your subjects."

Hermione huffed exasperatedly. "I like to understand what I do, but I only figured out how to test spells at the start of the year. I've been trying to find a way to do it for years, though, because I wanted to know how some spells were very different, but still had a similar effect."

Snape chuckled. "Professor Flitwick would be delighted to know how much interest you show for charms and the like."

"Well I'm sure he wouldn't be as happy, if he knew, that the only reason I didn't find out about the tests earlier is because I was busy learning off potions recipes.", she replied innocently, doing a three-quarter clockwise rotation with her stirring rod to complete her latest potion.

That shut Snape up for a moment. He mumbled something unintelligible and hid behind his hair and the steam that was rising straight up again. Hermione supressed a giggle and crossed two batches of burning paste off the list, before setting up a second cauldron.

Later they had almost brewed all the potions requested, but the professor insisted they finish them the next day.

"Have you decided if you are going to meet Potter tomorrow?", he asked, passing her a cup of tea.

Snape noticed that after their little 'chat' in the morning, he felt a lot more comfortable around the curly-haired witch, even though the nagging voice in the back of his head, reminding him that she was still his student hadn't disappeared. It was now merely speaking with a decreased volume.

Hermione shrugged in response to his question, cradling her cup. "I'm not sure. I really miss him, but I'm afraid, something will go wrong."

"How do you mean?"

"I mean, what if he mentions something that reminds me of something and I break down? He can't see me that way. He already feels guilty, he doesn't need to know that I am still hurting from the war… It's not his fault after all."

Snape sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Hermione, I do not want to push you too much, but it is important that you face your past. Mr Potter is a huge part of it, but you have to remember that he is also part of your present. If you wish it to remain that way, you can't run away from him forever."

"So you think I should talk to him?"

"Most definitely. I even believe that it may be able to solve some more of your issues, but you won't know if you won't even try."

She sighed. "You're probably right and I'm sick of running away. I did it for a whole year and I hated it."

Snape gave her a tiny reassuring smile. "In that case you better confirm your meeting with Potter. Write it now and I'll take you to the owlery."

**oxoxoxoxo**

Twenty minutes later, Hermione fastened a small scroll to the foot of a small brown owl. It had taken her a long time to write the two sentences to her best friend. She knew it shouldn't have, but she still had the distinct feeling that she and her friends had grown apart.

Suddenly she felt Snape moving up behind her. He tugged on a loose curl at the nape of her neck and then twisted it into her messy bun.

"You forgot a piece there.", he mumbled, his breath tickling her skin.

Severus was staring at her exposed neck in front of him and fought to suppress the urge to plant a kiss on her shoulder. Swallowing hard he took a step backwards when she turned to face him. Their eyes met and he felt as if the amber orbs were melting away all his defences. He noticed a beautiful blush rising up to her face and pushed an errant curl behind her ear.

Hermione was hypnotised by his black gaze and instinctively moved a step closer. That moment an owl screeched loudly, as if protesting and the professor quickly turned away, before either of them gave in to the temptation of taking this further.

Placing a hand firmly on her elbow he escorted her to her rooms.

"When you return from Hogsmeade tomorrow, I will show you how to cast the modified patronus we were talking about.", he mentioned absentmindedly whilst trying not to stare at her lips.

_What the bloody hell was wrong with him?_

The young witch smiled enthralledly. "That's great, thank you, Severus!"

His name from her lips was the most delightful sound that his ears had ever encountered. Unconsciously starting to move forward again, his face came dangerously close to hers. Saving them both at the last moment he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead.

"Peaceful dreams.", he whispered, his voice suddenly hoarse, and retreated slowly.

Hermione's heart was beating loudly in her chest and she was convinced that he could hear it. Watching him turn and walk away in one fluid motion, she felt her skin prickle where his lips had touched it. At the thought her heart skipped a beat like it had when the professor had lowered his face to hers, not knowing what he would do. She was almost certain he had nearly kissed her. To her surprise she found that she wished he had.

Shaking her head to get rid of her distracting thoughts, she walked into her chambers and immediately flopped down on the sofa in front of the fire.

She had been more or less conscious for a while, that she felt attracted to the professor, but she had put it down to – and continued to do so – the fact, that at the moment he was effectively the only person in her live that was truly there for her. Stoically she reminded herself that she was technically still in a relationship with Ron and that she had no business trying to start something with her potions professor.

After a quick shower she went to bed and tried to forget about the surly wizard, but it proved rather difficult, because her method of choice to get to sleep was to think about that particular man's arms around her, his scent filling her nostrils and causing her to relax completely.

Preparing herself for a long night, Hermione curled up beneath her blankets and forced her eyes shut.

**oxoxoxoxo**

Snape, too, went to flop down in front of the fireplace – albeit in an armchair not on a sofa – once he had returned to his rooms. Sighing deeply he shrugged off his outer robes and hung his head backwards, supporting it with both of his hands.

He closed his eyes and desperately tried to get rid of the distinct smell of honey, lemon and clean soap, but it seemed to stick to his clothes. The thought of the curly-haired witch caused his pants to feel tighter than usual and he hated himself for it. The young woman was having serious problems; she was emotionally fragile or even broken and most certainly did not need an old man lusting after her. Still, he couldn't deny that there was something between them; if he were a romantic fool he would call it a spark. However, he was far from one, so he was unable to find a proper word for just what it was that connected them.

He had felt it earlier, when they were stood in the alcove and before, when he shared his mind with hers. Coming to the conclusion that McGonagall was right and he was getting too attached, he growled and got up to make himself some tea.

He desperately wanted something stronger, but he knew that if he did so in his present emotional state he wouldn't stop. The professor hardly drank any alcohol anymore. He refused to allow a drink to make him weak, but he often used it to drown his feelings, something that he had discovered to be entirely unhealthy. Further, he had vowed to not become like his father, once a certain witch that regularly turned into a tabby cat had pulled him out of his alcohol induced reverie after Lily's death.

Just that particular witch, also known as the Headmistress of Hogwarts had requested his presence in her office after lunch to further talk about Hermione and her state of mind and to remind him to stay objective.

_Minerva ushered him to sit in the same chair as earlier and placed a cup of tea in front of him without asking. _

"_How can I help you, Minerva?", he drawled, knowing she wouldn't dictate him to her office to simply share a cup of tea._

"_I would like to talk about Hermione. I am truly worried about her."_

"_How so?", he asked dispassionately. _

_The older witch frowned. "Don't tell me you haven't noticed. She hardly ever raises her hand in class anymore and she has stopped to spout out paragraphs of knowledge without being asked. It's not like her."_

"_Maybe she has finally come to her senses.", the potions master growled._

"_Severus!", the headmistress revolted._

_He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose._

"_I had noticed, but it is no reason to be this worried. She has been through a lot, the students all have."_

"_But not all of them have changed."_

"_No, but everyone is affected differently."_

"_But what about her attacking her professor, I have never known Hermione's magic to be that unstable. She was always the controlled one out of the lot of them."_

"_Yet she is the one with the greatest power, as you are well aware. Her losing control was bound to happen. And you have seen what the woman said to her, Minerva. Even Pomona would lose her temper if someone spoke to her like that."_

_Minerva let out an undignified grunt. "Well, I believe it is not easy for _Professor Cruz_ to teach a class full of veterans how to defend themselves."_

"_From what I have heard she is not doing a good job of it either."_

_The headmistress sighed. "Yes, yes, but that is a different matter altogether. This is about Hermione. I know she tells you things, Severus, please, I know you promised not to say anything, but I need to know if she is alright."_

_The potions master bit the inside of his cheek to suppress a frustrated groan. When would the former head of Gryffindor finally understand that he wasn't going to say anything?_

"_She will be fine. She is having a bit of a tough time at the moment, but we all have to learn how to adjust after a war. Do not worry; I am sure she will turn to me if she feels overwhelmed."_

_Minerva sighed again, pressing her lips into a thin line. _

"_Severus, I know you won't like to hear this, but you are not a mental healer and I believe that the girl is suffering from PTSD. We need to help her."_

"_NO!", he hissed before he could stop himself. "You will not get someone from St. Mungo's to talk to her. She needs stability and rubbing her nose in the fact that something is obviously wrong with her will only make things worse. Have you any idea how hard she is trying to keep this from everyone?" _

_He was very close to breaking his promise to the young witch and thanked his inner spy for his ability to only let forth as much information as he wanted to._

_The headmistress' lips nearly disappeared as she pressed them together even more._

"_Severus, you are getting too attached to the girl. You surly must see that seeing a professional healer about this would be best for her."_

_The dark wizard shook his head in exasperation and pinched the bridge of his nose. _

"_I'm the only person she truly trusts at the moment, Minerva. She will not talk to anyone else; it takes her a lot to talk to me about things as it is. Please, don't get anyone else involved."_

"_As much as I respect you, I do not believe you are suitable to treat someone with PTSD."_

_He could not hold back the growl forming at the back of his throat. "You know full well that I had problems with it myself. It took me twenty bloody years to finally work myself through all the problems I had. If you do not wish for her to suffer that, you should trust on my abilities to help her through it. She said herself that it was helping until _Professor Cruz_ came along."_

_Minerva sighed, but before she could say anymore the portrait of Professor Dumbledore interjected. _

"_Minerva, dear, I believe Severus might be right. You know yourself that many people have trouble confiding into a person they do not know. It is indeed important that Miss Granger experiences stability at the moment and that we allow her to confront the things troubling her at her own speed. If she has also chosen Severus as her confidant, we should try and allow things to continue the way they are, unless Miss Granger's condition should take a turn for the worse."_

_Severus looked at the former headmaster in silent acknowledgement, while Minerva huffed frustrated. "I just want to make sure the girl receives the best treatment possible."_

"_Apparently I'm not the only one who is emotionally attached.", he scoffed and got up to take his leave. _

"_I will inform you should there be any more trouble."_

_After he slammed the door shut behind him, Minerva slumped in her chair. Dumbledore looked down on her wishing he could place a comforting hand on her shoulder._

"_Fear not, my dear. You have seen how protective he is of her. Do you need any more evidence to accept what is growing between them? Hermione could not have chosen anyone better to help her through this."_

Severus was massaging his temples, whilst considering this conversation. He should really tell Hermione about it, but there was no need to unnecessarily worry her.

Then again, the tightness of his pants was very worrying indeed, especially because he knew that Minerva was nearly as protective of her favourite cub as he was. Somebody help them all, should she find out that he felt attracted to the young witch.

* * *

**A/N2: I just wanted to add that in case Minerva comes across in a bit of a negative light, don't worry she'll be back to her normal motherly self soon enough. But she is still adjusting to her new position as headmistress and tries to come to terms with everything that Severus has done last year, so she feels very protective of Hermione now that she has proof that something is wrong with her.**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Hey guys! I'm sorry I didn't update any sooner, but I've been really busy. Wednesday I got the results for my final exams and I'm delighted and it means I've officially finished school! To get them though I had to go to a different country which is why I didn't get as much writing done. I'll try and get a lot more done, before I'll be starting college in a few weeks, promise. **

**On a different note, I am _very_ excited to announce that the awesome _sghope16 _is now my beta, so if you notice any improvements regarding spelling, grammar and word-choice, you know who to thank!**

**As always thanks so much for all the reviews, follows and favourites. I love hearing from you, so let me know what you think! Enjoy xxx :)**

* * *

Huddled up in a thick jumper, her favourite woollen hat, and her Gryffindor scarf, Hermione made her way to Hogsmeade the next day. It was starting to get cold outside, it was nearly the end of October after all and the path to the little wizarding village was covered with brown, yellow and a few red leaves. A rogue leaf was fluttering around her and nearly hit her in the face. To her own surprise, Hermione found herself growling at it.

_Definitely spent too much time with Severus_… she thought and sighed.

She had been edgy all morning. The usual excitement of a Hogsmeade weekend had been almost tangible in the great hall, and Hermione found herself nervously bouncing her knee up and down under the table. It annoyed her, because she knew that she shouldn't be afraid of meeting her best friend for a drink in the Three Broomsticks, but she just couldn't help it.

She hadn't seen Harry since before her fight with Ron and even though they had exchanged relatively frequent letters, she couldn't help but wonder if he would notice a change in her or if he would just see the old Hermione.

Ginny had also made the first attempt to approach her in over a week. She had been way too cheery when she asked if Hermione wanted to walk into Hogsmeade with her and Luna and she had gotten the distinct feeling that the redhead was up to something. That was also the reason why she politely declined and gave a noncommittal shrug as to whether they would see each other around later.

She reached the village and went straight to the pub that appeared to still be quite empty, since most people were strolling through the shops first.

Taking a deep breath and squaring her shoulders Hermione entered and was suddenly enveloped by comfortable warmth and the scents of old wood and butterbeer.

Gazing through the room she immediately noticed a batch of disheveled black hair at a table in the corner.

Her amber eyes met green ones and suddenly Harry jumped up and pulled her into a tight hug. She smiled and closed her eyes for a moment, waiting for the pain in her chest to subside. The young witch hated that just seeing her best friend hurt, because so many painful images came to her mind straight away, drowning out the happy ones.

"It's really good to see you, Hermione!" he said, giving her a quick peck on the cheek before gesturing for her to sit down.

She put a smile on her face. "It's good to see you too, Harry. How have you been?"

He gave her an odd look and noticed her smile falter a bit.

"I'm great; the auror training is so exciting, even though it's tough. But I finally feel as if I am good at something and don't just survive on pure luck."

This time Hermione's smile was more honest.

"I can finally stop worrying about you so," she teased, and a flash of the old Hermione crossed her face.

Harry grinned sheepishly and mussed his own hair. "I still feel bad, that I got all the attention, but really most of the time my success was due to you."

The curly-haired witch snorted. "Don't be stupid, Harry. First of all, I've got enough attention myself to last me a lifetime. Secondly, you are a powerful wizard. Just because I read more books than you doesn't mean that I am worth more than you. We just have different strengths."

Harry blushed. "Sometimes I think you are a lot older than me."

She laughed and Harry felt relieved to hear it. From what Ginny had told him, she hadn't even smiled a lot recently.

Madam Rosmerta suddenly appeared at their table, two butterbeers in hand.

"One with ginger", she said placing a glass in front of Hermione and the other in front of Harry, "And one without."

They both smiled and thanked the pub owner, who fondly smiled back at the pair.

"Give me a shout if you need anything else."  
With that she retreated behind the bar.

"I ordered them when I came in, I hope you don't mind."

She shook her head. "No, it's fine, thank you. And you even remembered how I like it best."

He laughed and shrugged. "I am your best friend after all."

Hermione took a sip of her drink to hide the lost expression on her face.

"You are," she agreed after a moment.

Harry looked at her concerned and squeezed her hand.

"So tell me, Hermione, how is school?"

She shrugged and didn't look at him, but squeezed his fingers back.

"It's great, but I still don't know what I want to do after school, there are too many possibilities."

This time it was Harry's turn to snort. "Hermione, it's only the end of October, you have all the time in the world."

They fell silent and the young wizard let go of her hand to drink something.

"Look, Hermione," he said after a moment. "When I said I wanted to meet you today, it wasn't just because I wanted to catch up with you… I've been talking to Ginny, and like I said before, we're both worried about you. She mentioned that you aren't talking to her and…"

He suddenly fell silent looking at something over her shoulder.

"What?"

He shook his head. "Snape is staring at us."

Her head snapped up and she turned in her seat to see her potions professor sitting at a table with Professors McGonagall, Sprout, and Flitwick. He looked decidedly uncomfortable surrounded by their incessant chattering that was only interrupted by Flitwick's squeaky voice, but when their eyes met, his expression softened almost imperceptively. He raised his eyebrow and she gave him a small reassuring smile in response, which he answered with a small quirk of the corner of his mouth.

Hiding behind her hair for a moment until her face was calm again, she eventually turned back to Harry, who was looking at her questioningly.

"It's alright. He isn't as bad as you think, he's actually been helping me a lot with my potions project. He's even giving me extra classes."

Her best friend frowned. "Yeah, Ginny mentioned something like that. Look, what I was saying before…"

She interrupted him with a gesture of her hand. She had been dreading this conversation, even though she had suspected it was coming.

"Please… I know I should have apologised to Ginny for snapping at her – I'm sure she's told you about it – but I'm just… a little sensitive at the moment. Remember that letter you wrote me, when you first noticed something was off? Well I wanted to thank you for it again, because what you said actually helped me a lot, even though it took me a while to realise."

He looked confused, but urged her to continue.

"I've found something to focus on, something I'm passionate about; potions. I know you and Professor Snape aren't on the best of terms-"

"I respect him, I really do, but that doesn't mean I agree with the way he treated us all through school!" he interjected heatedly.

Hermione nodded. "Yes, yes I know. But he has been great for me. He teaches me more complex potions, and believe it or not, when I brew, I can forget everything that has happened."

The Boy-Who-Lived-Twice sighed in exasperation at his best friend's desperate attempt to pretend nothing was wrong.

"So you are having trouble coping, just like I thought," he mumbled. Hermione scowled at him.

"Harry Potter, you were the one that said in your letter that you weren't going to push me into talking about something I wasn't ready for!" she hissed, trying to keep her voice down.

His eyes behind his glasses were apologetic and he raised his hands in surrender.

"I'm sorry, Hermione, I'm just so worried about you! Ginny told me you've completely shut yourself off from everyone, but you can't bottle it all up! I tried and it didn't work. It just eats you up."

She shuddered, thinking of her nightmares that had gotten worse again. Harry's tone was suddenly softer. "We just want to help you, 'Mione, but we can't if you won't let us in."

The Gryffindor witch fell silent and finished her drink. She could practically feel Severus' gaze bore into her back, but she didn't dare turn around.

"Would you like to go for a walk?" Harry asked impulsively, getting up from the table. She nodded and put her scarf back on.

Her friend went to leave, but she held him back, looking pointedly at the bar.

He grinned. "I paid when I ordered. Don't worry; I'm too scared of Madam Rosmerta to try and walk out without paying."

She giggled and shook her head at him. "Says the one who defeated Lord Voldemort."

He grinned and shrugged, joining her laughter as they left.

Severus watched the door fall shut behind them and couldn't help but worry about how the meeting with Potter would affect her.

Minerva tore him from his thoughts by nudging him with her elbow.

"Is everything alright, Severus?",she asked, looking worried.

He gave a tight-lipped smile and nodded. "Everything is fine. Apologies, what were you saying, Pomona?"

**oxoxoxoxo**

Somehow Harry and Hermione ended up in the wood by the Shrieking Shack.

"I must admit I miss Hogwarts," he mumbled whilst staring across at the wooden hut. "But I just don't think I'm ready to face it all."

"Then you know how I feel," she said sharply, still hurt because he tried to push her.

"I know, I know, but Hermione, you should try and at least talk to some people, not about whatever is wrong, but just engage in conversation or something."

She rolled her eyes. "You know I'm not one for small talk, Harry."

He sighed. "Neither am I, but you know what I'm trying to say, right?"

He met her eyes and for a moment he saw an emotion in it that went far deeper than the simple hurt and guilt he felt when thinking about the war. Then her face was nothing more than a mask of calm and she leant against his shoulder. He moved his arm around her waist, feeling a bit more relaxed.

"Actually, I wanted to ask, has Ron talked to you recently?"

Hermione frowned and raised her head from his shoulder. "No, why? Is something wrong?"

Harry shook his head and smiled soothingly. "No, not at all. It's just that he mentioned the other day he wanted to talk to you and see if you could fix things. He seemed sorry for what happened."

The witch sighed pulling her scarf tighter. "Well, I haven't heard from him since our fight. How is he, anyway?"

Her best friend gave her a lopsided grin. "He's grand, you know what he's like. He's complaining all the time about all the work and his favourite Quidditch team losing a match, but I trust him so he's the perfect partner. And he's actually getting quite good with all the spells we have to learn.

Hermione smiled. "I'm so glad to hear that. I was kind of afraid he would try and just stumble his way through the training, the way he did with school." In truth she desperately wanted to tell Harry what she had told Severus the other night about Ron. She couldn't bear the thought of destroying the boy's friendship though, so she kept quiet.

"Oh no, no way. Kingsley wouldn't allow that and neither would Jake Stephens. He's the head of the auror training and believe me, he is one scary man, Hermione. Not even Ron tries to take the easy way out with him. Well, he did try once, but it didn't end well."

Hermione giggled. "Yes, I think I have actually heard of him, he's supposed to be brilliant at dueling."

Harry nodded in agreement and fell silent again. All of a sudden he sighed and had a look at his watch.

"Look, I'm sorry, but I promised Ginny I would meet her and Luna, I haven't seen her in a while. Would you mind coming with me? I know Ginny is desperate to fix things with you."

Hermione bit her lip and stared at her feet.

"I…I don't know, if that's a good idea, Harry."

The messy haired wizard frowned. He had never known Hermione to shy away from a confrontation.

"Come on, 'Mione, it can't be that bad. They're your friends! There is no reason to be afraid."

_Only the insignificant fact that I will probably be a crying mess later and meeting them will only make it worse_, she thought to herself.

Looking at Harry's pleading eyes though, she knew that she couldn't refuse. It was good to spend time with him. Only now did she realise how much she truly missed having him around. He was the one person that always managed to make her smile. There was a time when Ron was able to do the same, but she knew deep down that was long over, however desperately she wished it wasn't.

Reluctantly, she followed Harry back to the Three Broomsticks.

They were about to go inside when Ginny and Luna came running down from Honeyduke's. The redhead threw herself at Harry, who hugged her tightly before kissing her softly. Hermione and Luna smiled at each other, and the curly-haired witch was relieved to see that the relationship between her two friends was still working.

"Hey, 'Mione!" Ginny beamed after pulling away from her boyfriend. "I knew Harry would manage to get you here."

Hermione bit her lip again and shrugged, just barely managing a smile. Ginny's greeting had made her sound a lot like Ron again and it hurt. She just wished all the Weaselys weren't so similar to each other. Barely noticing Harry talking to Ginny, while Luna gave her a concerned look, she started to count to ten to get her emotions under control. Harry was right, these were her friends and she would bloody well manage to spend a few hours with them.

Just then, a Patronus arrived and stopped in front of Harry.

_"Harry, I need you at the Ministry immediately. I know it's your day off, but this is an emergency. Hurry."_

With that the Patronus vanished again and Harry growled in frustration.

"That was Kingsley," he grumbled, although they had all recognised the deep voice and lynx Patronus of the man that was suspected to become Minister in just a few weeks. "Guess I need to go."

Hermione's thoughts started to swirl in her head. She wasn't sure if she was having a déja vu or a flashback or maybe a mixture of both. Either way, in her mind she was back at Bill and Fleur's wedding, which had also been interrupted by Kingsley's Patronus, to warn them of the death eaters arrival. She experienced the utter terror she had felt whilst trying to duck spells and finding Harry and Ron at the same time to Apparate them to safety. Her breathing quickened as she tried to hold back the panic rising up her throat, and she was only barely aware of Harry pulling Ginny into his arms to give her a lingering kiss. As if her ears were full of cotton, she heard him murmur "I'll floo you," before turning to give Luna a quick hug.

_1,2,3,4….9,10. Focus on the present until everything else ceases to exist_, she thought, repeating the mantra Severus had taught her.

By the time Harry turned to pull her into a tight embrace she had herself sufficiently under control to at least give a small smile and hug him back. He gave her a worried look. "I'm really sorry, 'Mione, I should have been able to spend more time with you, you know I'm worried."

She started to open her mouth to tell him that she didn't need his worry, but he cut her off. "And I know, you don't want me to fuss over you, but I'm your best friend and I should be there for you, instead of running off to work."

She gave him a very sad smile. "It's not your fault that something has happened. And, if you must know, today actually helped me a lot."

He gave a lopsided grin and pushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear in a very brotherly way. She suddenly hugged him again, feeling desperate for the comfort only a best friend could offer.

"Let me know when you're in Hogsmeade again and we can meet up," Hermione said, trying to hide her inner emotional turmoil behind a calm façade. Inside, she wanted to curl up in a ball because she missed Harry terribly, more than she would have expected and no matter how much she loved Ginny and Luna, they would never be what the bespectacled wizard was to her.

Swallowing hard, she watched as Harry stepped away from them with a last smile and Apparated away.

Luna gave Hermione the same worried look Harry had given her earlier. "Hermione, are you okay? You look very pale."

The Gryffindor witch swallowed hard and nodded, "Yes, I'm fine, Luna. Let's go inside."

Ginny looked at her in surprise. "I thought you weren't talking to us."

Hermione sighed. "Ginny, I just needed some time to get my head around things. I'm still having trouble with some things about which I am not going to talk to anyone, but Harry made me realise today how much I miss my friends."

The redhead smiled and took her hand. "Come on, what do you wanna drink? I'm buying."

She let her overly excited friend drag her inside and buy her another butterbeer with ginger. In truth, all she wanted to do now that Harry had left to face some unknown threat was to hide down in the dungeons and spend the evening and possibly the night brewing and talking with a certain snarky potions master.

Still, her friends seemed truly happy to spend time with her and she couldn't bear to hurt them any more than she already had. After all, Hermione Granger had never been a selfish person.

**oxoxoxoxo**

Severus watched the three witches enter the pub. He was only enduring his fellow professors' cheery small talk for Hermione's sake, because he truly worried about her. He knew she was afraid that she wouldn't be able to handle her emotions, so he was here just in case she needed him to rescue her before too many questions were asked. Of course, he would never openly admit to doing such a thing. And since Snape was not known for his altruistic actions and because he was also very much a Slytherin, he knew and was very grateful that coming to Hogsmeade this weekend meant that Minerva would cease to nag him to join them in the pub for the next few weeks.

Still, he was surprised to see Hermione enter now without Potter, but with her two female friends, that he believed she hadn't talked to in quite some time. Wrapping his hands around his fifth cup of tea, he leant back in his chair and proceeded to watch the trio. He noticed that Hermione looked decidedly uncomfortable, even though she hid it well. As time passed, she talked less and less, merely listening to her two friends and occupying herself with the glass in her hands.

About forty minutes after they had arrived, he noticed the witch to tense up even more. Realising that she had finished her drink he decided that it was time to free them both from their respective predicaments.

Excusing himself from his colleagues he got up and walked over to the table the girls were sitting at. Incidentally, it wasn't at all far away from the professors' table in the pub that was now more than full. When he was directly behind Hermione he cleared his throat. None of the three had noticed him approach as they were-or at least appeared to be-in deep conversation.

Hermione jumped at the noise and turned around to see him. "Miss Granger, I believe you have a potion to tend to back at the castle. Unless you wish for weeks of intense research to go to waste you should accompany me now."

He noticed how her shoulders relaxed almost imperceptibly and had to suppress a smirk. For some reason he felt very proud, just because she had decided to trust him. It proved that after all he wasn't that bad of a person. Not that he cared about his image, but he was a man of honour.

Hermione gave him a grateful smile, hidden to all but him. "Of course I will accompany you back. I couldn't bear to think I had wasted your valuable time."

He caught the sarcastic hint in her words and gave a thin-lipped smile. "Very well, then."

She got up and turned to Ginny and Luna, plastering an apologetic expression on her face. "I'm sorry guys, but this is for my potions project, I completely forgot about it. I'll see you at breakfast tomorrow."

Before her friends could even realise that she was obviously not going to be at dinner, and before they could think to ask her why, Severus had already escorted her outside.

Once they were a safe distance from the pub, he shot her a worried glance.

"Are you okay?"

She scowled at him. "Will everyone stop giving me worried looks?" she growled exasperatedly. "But yes, thank you, I'm fine. Now, anyway."

He chuckled. "Do you need anything before we go back?"

She thought about it for a moment, and a trip to Honeydukes for a packet of Liquorice Wands later they were on their way to Hogwarts.

"Thanks for rescuing me, by the way."

"You may fear for your life should you let out that a Slytherin like me helped a Gryffindor like you."

She raised her eyebrows. "Well, I was just going to ask you, what was in it for you?"

He quirked the corner of his mouth. "You are very perceptive today. However, your currently non-existent potions project was an excellent excuse for me to flee from the gossip club."

She laughed out loud, glad that no one was around to see her do so openly in front of Professor Snape.

**oxoxoxoxo**

It took them about half an hour to finish off the last few potions on the list that the professor hadn't managed to complete himself during the night. It helped Hermione calm down a bit

Snape had been watching her closely, making her just a tiny bit self-conscious.

"Would you still like to learn the modified Patronus?" he asked after they finished clearing off their workstations. His stomach did the familiar flip when he noticed the glint of excitement in her eyes.

"Yes! Of course, I'd love to."

He simply nodded, his demeanor calm. "Very well."

He started to pace in front of her, hands behind his back. She recognised it as his lecturing posture. "Like I said before, it works just the same as sending a normal Patronus. The incantation, however, is slightly different and requires you to add the name of the person. You also have to focus on whether you want it to be disillusioned to all or only to all but the receiver. Watch closely."

She had already been practically glued to his lips, but now straightened up to appear even more attentive.

"Patronum nuntii Hermione," muttered the professor. A small doe sprang force from his wand, making its way over to the young witch.

_"Hello, Miss Granger."_ It whispered in Severus's voice.

She smiled and pulled out her own wand and casting a small otter over to Severus.

Upon hearing the words _"Good afternoon, Professor,"_ he gave a wry smile.

_"Now attempt to cast it completely disillusioned."_ he grumbled in her ear, whilst standing two meters away from her.

She arched her eyebrow the same way he always did. A small frown appeared on her forehead as she concentrated.

_"Now I can pester you with secret messages in class."_

It was his turn to raise an eyebrow. _"If you do I will make your cauldron explode on purpose."_

_"You wouldn't dare."_

_"Wouldn't I?"_

_"Anyway, this is really useful, thank you."_

_"You are welcome. Now tell me, Hermione, how did your meeting with Mr. Potter go?"_

Hermione sighed and tucked her wand away again, the smile on her face also disappearing.

"I knew you would want to talk about that."

"Don't you?" he watched her intensely, while conjuring their customary armchairs and pot of tea.

He ushered her to take a seat and offered her a mug. She wrapped her hands around it, suddenly realising that she felt cold.

"I believe I recall you telling me that these conversations were helping you?" asked Snape.

She sighed again, looking down into her tea. "Yes. Yes, they do, it's just been a tough day. It was really good to see Harry; I do miss having him around. He always makes me smile."

Severus felt a sudden pang of jealousy at that, for some not totally mysterious reason. He knew he was being utterly ridiculous, but it still didn't squash the feeling.

She continued to tell him how she had agreed to meet Ginny and Luna and how Harry had been called away.

"When I saw Kingsley's Patronus, I had a flashback. It was terrible, like seeing two things at a time. I used your calming technique to hold back my emotions, but Luna noticed something was off. Anyway, it seems that I am improving, at least I managed to spend almost an hour with them without exploding."

She took a sip of tea and avoided Snape's intent gaze.

The latter had a feeling that she was playing things down. From what he had observed earlier, all that had changed was that her coping mechanisms and acting skills had improved. She had been acting as an almost unchanged version of the Hermione her friends knew and loved.

"Well, actually, Ginny would have only needed to say ''Mione' a few more times and I would have hexed her into next week. I just hate how she sounds like Ron," she added.

The tears shimmering in her eyes told a different story than her casual attitude; he was now positive that she was having a harder time dealing with her feelings for her friends than she let on.

Severus gave her what he hoped was an emphatic look and put his mug down on a desk. He wished he could comfort her, but he knew this was not the time. He was right, for this time, she really didn't want him to see how she felt. She knew he disliked Harry and she didn't want him to have any more reason to do so. But of course he would if he found out he had upset her, for she had noticed how protective he had come of her. She wasn't sure if she liked it.

"Even so, I am glad to see that you are getting better," he said softly, pulling her from her thoughts. "Ron is too big an issue to be dealt with at once, but we will get there."

Hermione gave him a genuine smile through the tears, and it made his heart skip a beat. "Who would have thought you were such an optimistic person?"

"You have no idea, Hermione," he said in a voice that caused shivers to run down her spine.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: So, here's the next chapter. I didn't get a lot of response to the last chapter, so I just wanted to say, that I realise that not a lot happened, but everything that did happen, happened for a reason. Only two people so far caught up on the fact that I have been dropping (admittedly very very subtle) hints to things that will happen in the future. You'll all just have to wait and see, but I can promise there is a good bit of action ahead. Feel free to take a guess if you have an idea where this could be going, it'll also help inspire me a bit. :) **

**There's a bit more going on in this chapter, they finally figure out a way to help the situation between Hermione and Cruz. **

**Thank you for all the Reviews I did get, by the way, and a big thanks to my beta Hope, for helping to fix my English. **

**Let me know what you think! Enjoy! xxx :)**

* * *

The next day Hermione had the feeling that there was a conspiracy going on against her. She had had dinner with Severus last night in the middle of him showing her how to brew the Draught of Peace. Now, at breakfast, Ginny and Luna were all over her and she thought that they might have planned yesterday's entire meeting in advance to get her to talk to them again.

On top of being bereft of her peace during the meals, McGonagall had also called her to her office to let her know that Professor Cruz had complained that no one had thought to remove her Hogsmeade privileges for the month. She also requested that Hermione would apologise to her in front of the whole DADA class on Monday.

Hermione left the headmistress' office furious, her wand arm twitching with the urge to hex someone. When she had protested McGonagall had looked at her with a mixture of worry and pity, leaving her favourite cub livid. She still wouldn't do anything about it though.

"Miss Granger, you must show Professor Cruz that you realise you have made a mistake. Otherwise she is going to make your life hell. Remember what happened with Potter and Umbridge."

"Fine.", Hermione had snapped, storming out of the office, her robe almost billowing behind her.

McGonagall had turned to face the chuckling portrait of Albus Dumbledore.

"She is obviously spending a lot of time with Severus. Let's just hope she won't turn into a Slytherin."

**oxoxoxoxo**

Feeling too riled up to get any study done, she hurried down to the dungeons, hoping Severus would be in his office. He wasn't. Growling she went to check the potions classroom, but he wasn't there either.

Frustrated, she slumped down behind a random desk, rubbing her temples.

Suddenly remembering something, she went to the cupboard at the back of the room that held old potions texts and the like. She pulled out a drawer and tipped the bottom with her wand. It disappeared, revealing the book in which Severus had written almost every potion recipe he knew.

Putting it down on a desk she started to set up a cauldron, before opening the book.

Snape had hidden it in the cupboard for her, heavily warded so that only she or he may retrieve it, for it was one of the most precious things he owned.

Reverently, she stroked the plain leather cover before opening it. The pages were white and crisp, but seemingly empty.

She didn't exactly know what she was looking for, but she concentrated, wishing for a potion that was complicated enough to occupy her mind and hands, but didn't take too long to brew.

The pages started to glow softly and a familiar slanted handwriting appeared.

It was the recipe for a wound-cleaning potion. She had never actually made it before and it turned out to be more complicated than she would have thought as she had watched Madam Pomfrey use the purple liquid on numerous occasions.

Two hours later, a shuffling made her look up from the just finished potion.

Severus had returned, a basket full of fresh potions ingredients floating in front of him.

He frowned at her, taking in the ruffled appearance of her hair, the bite marks on her lip, his potion book open on the table and her robe that had been carelessly thrown into a corner. He picked it up after placing the basket on a desk and frowned at her.

"What happened?"

She sighed, bottled the potion and stuck a quickly scribbled label on the flask.

"Cruz is being impossible. I had a meeting with McGonagall this morning, because Cruz informed her no one thought to remove my Hogsmeade privileges. And on top of that, the bloody woman wants me to apologise to her tomorrow. In front of the entire class."

Severus had to suppress an angry groan. The woman's behaviour was positively outrageous and he had no idea why McGonagall had decided to make her head of Gryffindor. She was behaving like a sulking Hufflepuff. On top of that, all heads of house were powerful witches and wizards that had made a lot of accomplishments throughout their life. He knew for a fact that Cruz was not particularly powerful. He could sense the magic of the other heads of house, including McGonagall; it was like a ripple in the air around them. They were all powerful, strengthened by their bond to the castle that was similar to the bond the Headmaster or Headmistress had to Hogwarts.

He hadn't noticed anything of that sort with Cruz. He wasn't even sure if she had actually bonded with the school, there was no evidence and he couldn't hold a grudge against the castle for not accepting her as a head of house. On top of that, not even the Headmistress herself was too sure what Cruz had done before applying to be the new DADA professor. She had, however, proven to be very apt with defensive spells, which was why she had been employed.

The potions master simply thought she was a pain in the arse, after everything she was doing to her NEWT class and especially Hermione.

He conjured their armchairs and a pot of tea.

Hermione behind him giggled.

"What?" he snapped, not realising that he hadn't shown any obvious reaction to her statement.

"It's just that you haven't said anything and that I have been drinking a lot more tea than normally recently. I like how it's the solution to everything."

He rolled his eyes. "I just prefer to be comfortable, talking about such an uncomfortable thing. And if it was actually the solution to everything India would be a much richer country."

Hermione took her seat across from them and poured the steaming tea into two cups, before adding a bit of milk to both of them, deciding to ignore his last comment.

"I don't think there is much to talk about. I'm angry, because I have to apologise for something that I don't feel sorry for. At all. But the headmistress brought to my attention that this situation is very similar to the situation between Harry and Umbridge so I have to be very careful."

Severus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"She is right. I have a bad feeling that she will try and make your life hell, no matter what you do. I am very much expecting her to check on your detentions next week, which means that we have to pay a lot of attention to proper behaviour. Under no circumstances can she find out that spending time with me in detention isn't hell for you, because as of now, she only knows me as the snarky git most make me out to be."

The curly haired witch nodded and took a sip of her tea. "I hope she doesn't try and find out from Professor McGonagall if there is something wrong with me."

He frowned. "Where would she get that idea from?"

"Severus, I threw her across the room without using my wand, because I lost my temper like a nine year old. After everything she said to me, it's only a small step to realise what the war might have done to me."

He looked at her intently, noticing something akin to fear in her eyes.

"I will do everything to stop her from figuring it out," he said decidedly. "Don't worry, Hermione, she will not use this against you."

She gave him a small smile and sighed. "Let's just hope she's not a Legilimens."

He sneered at the possibility. "I shall hope not. Although, if she is, you know there is a way to protect you."

She nodded and he recognised the same excitement in her he had seen yesterday when teaching her the Patronus-spell.

"Would you actually teach me Occlumency?"

He gave an almost-smile. "Maybe."

She growled, but didn't push him further, because she knew from Harry how much he disliked teaching it.

They sat in silence for a while, until Hermione remembered her abandoned workload.

Starting to get up she gave her professor an apologetic look. "I really need to get my homework done, I only came down here because I needed to calm down."

_And because I wanted to see you…_

"Stay if you like. I have papers to grade, so I won't be distracting you."

She beamed at him, realising how glad she was that she didn't have to go to the common room or the library, where Ginny and Luna would surely find her.

"That would be great, thank you! I'll be right back."

She darted out of the room and Severus allowed himself a proper smile.

**oxoxoxoxo**

They spent the rest of the day in companionable silence, just like during her detention. He forced her to go to lunch, ignoring her insistence that they might as well have it in the classroom.

"Your friends will get suspicious if you miss too many meals. And so will other, less… amiable people."

After lunch they had continued working and when they were both finished, Severus showed her how to treat the ingredients he had collected for storage. Most of them were from plants and therefore more complicated to treat than other material, such as bicornhorn which simply needed to be kept in a dry place. The plants on the other hand… They had to turn them into essences, place them in alcohol or water, keep them in a dark place… The list was endless, and Hermione realised that there was even more to being a potions master than just being able to brew.

Evening was upon them sooner than she liked, but realising that Severus was right and she couldn't just hide away all the time, she decided to spend some time with Ginny in the common room. The Fat Lady was absolutely delighted to see the Gryffindor and it took them a long time to get past her.

There were a lot of hushed voices when the two girls sat down in front of the fireplace, Ginny with her homework and Hermione with a book on Advanced Transfiguration. She noticed how some of the younger students were literally tiptoeing around them and she wondered if there were actually any rumours about what had happened in Defense against the Dark Arts. It would be strange, since there were only four people that knew the details of the incident and Hermione hadn't even told anyone that she had detention for the month.

Ginny at some point had gotten bored of homework, deciding it would be much more interesting to charm her quill to tickle her friend's nose when Hermione had fallen asleep, only for it to be incinerated immediately when the curly-haired witch awoke with a start, wand in hand.

Ginny had scowled at her – or at least attempted to do so – and Hermione had looked confused into the other girl's eyes. Suddenly they both burst out laughing, giggling helplessly and nearly falling out of the worn crimson armchairs.

"I'll buy you a new quill!" Hermione choked and the redhead just shook her head and waved her hand dismissively, still laughing.

It took them a while to calm down and when they finally did, Hermione muttered under her breath "I swear, Ginny, you've spent too much time with your brothers."

"Which one? I have so many of them."

Oblivious to the stares of their peers, they started laughing again.

When she finally returned to her rooms, the curly-haired witch realised that she hadn't laughed as much in a long time. It had felt good; it had made her feel a little bit normal again.

A smile was still on her face when she fell into bed and promptly fell asleep.

**oxoxoxoxo**

She was at Bill and Fleur's wedding, waiting for something, anything, to happen. Everyone seemed very happy, they were all enjoying themselves, but she was just sitting there, nervously turning her glass on the table round and round. People were starting to give her curious looks, but she just continued to sit rigidly on the white plastic chair, waiting for something, without knowing what it was.

Suddenly a shining white light appeared in the middle of the room, taking on the shape of a slender lynx. A deep voice rumbled through the room, but she couldn't make out what it said. All hell broke loose around her as people began to run from the tent, kicking over plastic chairs and tables as they went.

There were loud pops from those who decided to Apparate away and Hermione slowly rose from her seat. Figures enveloped in black smoke flew into the tent, literally crashing the party. Spells started flying and one hit the glass she had been holding mere seconds ago. It burst into a million tiny pieces and she stared at it as they flew outwards, glittering in the light.

There was a lot of shouting going on and she slowly started to panic. Firmly clutching on to her beaded bag, she began looking for Harry and Ron, at the same time ducking and deflecting spells that came her way. Growing more and more frantic when she still couldn't find the two boys she started calling them and just as she thought she had spotted a pair of familiar glasses, a stunning spell hit her squarely in the chest and everything went black.

She woke up in the middle of rubble in the Hogwarts courtyard. There were death eaters everywhere and she could hear Neville's voice behind her. There was a low hiss and she looked up straight into the yellow eyes of Nagini. The snake locked eyes with her for a second, but as she started to desperately scramble away, it hissed louder, before opening its mouth, exposing two long sharp teeth. It lunged forward, its fangs boring into her throat and the last thing she saw was Professor Cruz standing at the Dark Lord's side, cackling like Bellatrix Lestrange.

She woke up screaming, her body covered in sweat and her breathing ragged. Hot tears were streaming down her face and she wished it wasn't only three in the morning.

**oxoxoxoxo**

The next morning at breakfast, Snape watched Hermione intently. He noticed the shimmer of a strong glamour charm on her face. Although he couldn't see the dark rings under her eyes, the way she held herself told him she had had another nightmare. He also noticed how she was merely pushing her food around on her plate, while Luna and Ginny were chattering next to her.

Knowing why she was in such a state, he shot a piercing look at Professor Cruz who was smiling contently whilst talking to oblivious Rolanda Hooch.

Hermione was aware of Severus gaze on her when she abruptly got up from the table and excused herself. It was nearly time to go to class and she felt slightly sick although she hadn't eaten anything.

She had Charms and History of Magic this morning and then DADA just before lunch. She knew it was ridiculous to feel so anxious about a class she would normally excel at, but she simply didn't know what Cruz would say to her.

After her nightmare she felt raw, vulnerable, and she was acutely aware that anything Cruz would say would probably make her snap. The young witch already dreaded the disappointed look on McGonagall's face should that happen. She could nearly hear it in her head already. _"Really, Miss Granger, I would have thought you were a bit more level headed. You're behaving like Mr. Potter when he was fifteen years old."_

"Hermione, come on, you're going to be late for charms!" called the voice of Parvarti Patil. She turned around in surprise; she had been pressing her forehead against a window staring blindly out at the grounds.

"Thanks, Pavarti, I'll be right there.", she said with a feeble smile. Her former dorm mate gave her a curious look and disappeared around a corner.

Hermione stood in the empty corridor for another few seconds to calm herself and to push all thoughts of DADA behind thick barriers, before hurrying to the charms classroom.

**oxoxoxoxo**

By the time she was on her way to her most dreaded class of the day, Hermione was sorely tempted to feign illness and spend the rest of the day in the hospital wing. Still, she knew that in doing so she would only postpone her fake apology; it wouldn't make the whole problem go away. Therefore, she pulled up all the Gryffindor courage she could find, tried to keep her breathing controlled, and walked into the classroom as if she owned it.

Cruz made her entrance just when she had sat down in her seat next to Ernie.

The curly-haired witch noticed how the professor tried to be dramatic, the way Snape was, and failed horribly. If it had been under different circumstances she would have probably laughed.

The teacher noisily placed her books on the desk and turned to face her NEWT class.

"Open your books on page two-hundred-fifteen. Before you start reading, I believe Miss Granger has something to say, have you not?"

She gave her a sickening smile full of victory and Hermione felt ill again as she slowly rose from her seat.

"My apologies," she said in the most condescending tone she could manage. She couldn't help it; there was just no way she was going to apologise properly with the way she had treated her.

Cruz sneered at her.

"Now, Miss Granger you know that won't do."

She seriously started to think that this woman might actually be related to Dolores Umbridge.

"What else do you want me to say then, _Professor_?"

Said Professor wrinkled her nose.

"I would like a sincere apology for what you did, Miss Granger. How about 'I apologise for my utterly unacceptable and disrespectful behaviour, Professor Cruz, I shall never lose my temper in front of a teacher again.'"

Hermione's gaze met watery blue eyes and she swallowed hard. A vile feeling started to rise from her stomach up to her throat. It was the same feeling she had had when she had left the Divination class in her third year.

The class watched in awe as the female third of the famous Golden Trio straightened up and shot her teacher a defiant look. When she inhaled slowly she knew she was making a very serious decision, but she found she didn't care. She did not need this woman bullying her into submission. Hermione Granger had been through a little too much during her school time to be treated the way Cruz treated her. Not even Snape with his ever-present sarcastic remarks that had more than once brought her close to tears, had left her this furious. She was a good-hearted person; she was willing to forgive, if forgiveness was deserved. She would never forget though if someone mistreated her or hurt her.

Thus she had decided to give Cruz the apology she wanted, but not quite how she would expect it.

"I apologise, Professor", she began, her tone ice-cold and a dangerous glint in her eyes.

"I apologise that I lost my temper, because you had the indignity to question my motives and insult everything I have given up so that we can live in a world that is free of Dark Wizards that believe in pure-blood supremacy. I acknowledge that there are others who have made sacrifices greater than mine and I am sorry that I still won't allow anyone to belittle what I have done. I am sorry that I will not have you kick all the horrible experience I have made over the last seven years with your feet. I am sorry that I have to live with those memories every day and that it isn't easy. I am also very sorry that you do not have it in you to recognise that there are still threats out there, threats we need to be able to protect ourselves from. Threats, that given enough practice, none of us would have to fear as we all have more than enough combat experience to not panic should a dangerous and unexpected situation arise. I apologise, Professor Cruz, but I simply cannot understand how anything you have attempted to teach us so far serves the purpose of studying Defence Against the Dark Arts."

There was complete silence in the room for a few seconds. Then…

"_Who do you think you are?!_" shrieked Cruz, looking as if she was about to throw a fit.

There were gasps, when everyone saw Hermione's magic bristle around her. This time she was able to rein it in, though.

Her voice still ice-cold, she answered, almost calm.

"I am Hermione Granger. Muggleborn and, by many, thought of as the Brightest Witch of my Age. Brains of the Golden Trio, the Gryffindor Princess, the one that helped keep Harry Potter alive and was at his side for the last seven years whenever needed. Survivor of a war that started before I was born. Burdened with scars and memories that I never asked for. Known to all in the Wizarding World and not proud of it."

For a moment she thought she saw fear cross Cruz' face, but it was replaced by burning anger within seconds.

"**GET. OUT.**" she screamed, pointing her wand at the door so it flew open.

Without another word, Hermione grabbed her bag and glided out the door in what seemed like one fluid motion.

**oxoxoxoxo**

When Severus saw neither Hermione nor Cruz at lunch and when the former then didn't show up for her potions lesson he immediately knew something had gone terribly wrong with her apology.

When his NEWT class settled down at their desks he looked at them and asked in a tone that sounded almost exasperated: "Now. Why is Miss Granger missing this time?"

There was a lot of awkward shifting, before someone dared to answer.

"She got into another fight with Professor Cruz, Sir." mumbled Theo Nott.

His jaw clenched. "And?" he drawled.

"Professor Cruz kicked her out, Professor," Ernie McMillan offered.

It earned him a raised eyebrow.

"No one has seen her since, Sir," added Pavarti.

Snape sighed. "I am afraid you will have to complete another written assignment for me. I expect 3 feet of parchment on my desk by the end of class. Your topic is the history of the Wolfsbane potion and its different ingredients."

With that he swiped out of the classroom, the group of veterans staring after him.

**oxoxoxoxo**

Hermione was sitting by the lake, hidden from sight to anyone that should look across the grounds from the castle. She was furiously smacking a small rock onto a bigger one with the help of her wand, desperate to find a vent for her anger. At the same time she was sobbing and shaking and screaming, her face red and tear stained. She felt helpless and alone.

Suddenly her wand flew from her hand and a pair of arms covered in black robes wrapped itself around her shaking frame.

"You know, Miss Granger, it will not do for you to keep missing potions class."

For some reason that made her sob even louder and for a long time they were just sitting there, Snape holding Hermione, while she continued to cry – no wail – in his arms and he found himself afraid of what Cruz had done to her this time.

Eventually she calmed down and sagged against his chest, seeking comfort in the warmth of his robe that was now wrapped around the both of them to keep them warm.

Suddenly she started to speak softly, her voice painfully hoarse from crying.

"I really don't know what I did to her that she keeps trying to humiliate me and force me into submission. With everything she says she just brings up all the things that hurt me most. They start swirling in my head, making me dizzy and all I can think of is that it must end, so I lose my temper. I feel like it's the only way to defend myself against her asides from hexing her. Sometimes…" Her voice broke and she had to clear her throat before she could continue speaking.

"Sometimes I wonder if she is the punishment for all the horrible things I've done. I look at her and I see all those people that died at my wand during the war…"

Unconsciously he tightened his grip around her, feeling his heart break all over again at those words. Something more powerful than anger started to rise from the pit of his stomach and he realised that he hated Itana Cruz for hurting Hermione in such a terrible way.

"From past experience I can assure you that guilt in whatever form it appears is by far enough punishment for anything we could do. When we feel guilt for something, or regret, there is no need for someone to be send to punish us. Never believe that what this… person is doing to you is justified in any way, Hermione."

His voice in her ear was silky and urgent and she felt a shiver run down her spine.

Closing her eyes and sighing softly she leaned her head back against his shoulder.

Snape inhaled her scent and marveled again that she could find comfort in his company. Another part of his brain was more occupied with the feel of her warm, wonderful curvy body pressed flush against him, but he tried his best to ignore it. There was also the part of him that screamed that their position was highly inappropriate, but once more he didn't listen to it. Hermione had told him after all to not think about what was appropriate and what wasn't.

"Severus… I… I don't know what to do anymore," she whispered, sounding as if she was holding back tears again. "What am I meant to do if I snap every time she talks to me?"

He stayed silent for a moment. The young witch tried to turn around in his arms to see his face, but she realised that he held her ensnared in such a way that she could not move an inch.

"We will figure something out, don't worry," he murmured into her ear. "I won't allow her to hurt you again, Hermione." He said it with such a sincerity, that she felt the urge to turn around in his arms, throw her arms around his neck and never let him go. Her lips tingled as the thought of kissing him suddenly popped into her mind. A blush crept up her face and only deepened when she felt him bury his nose in her curls.

Huddled up like that they continued to stare out across the lake. Had anyone found them in this incriminating position, they probably would have fallen dead with the shock that their potions professor was actually touching someone and _making them feel better_.

**oxoxoxoxo**

When the end of double potions approached, Snape started to move behind her. "Do you think you will be able to go to Herbology?" he asked softly, and this time she did manage to turn around in his arms. "How do you know my timetable?" she asked incredulous.

He merely raised an eyebrow and waited for her to answer his question. Losing herself in his midnight gaze for a moment she sighed and nodded slowly. "I think so, yeah."

Severus studied her face for a moment, than he pulled one arm away from her waist to take a small phial from the inside of his robes.

"Drink this," he ordered. Noting her hesitation he growled and pushed it into her hand. "It's a calming draught. It should help you get through your last class."

Hermione smiled shyly and took it, downing it at once.

She surprised him a moment later by leaning her forehead against his shoulder and wrapping her arms around him. "Thank you, Severus."

Pressing his face into her hair once more he answered softly. "You are welcome, Hermione."

**oxoxoxoxo**

As soon as he had seen his curly-haired charge safely to the greenhouses, the Potions Master stormed off to the headmistress' office.

The door flung open and banged against the wall, before Minerva could even take a breath to say "Enter."

She frowned at Snape, sitting even straighter than normally, when she realised that he was absolutely furious about something.

"This has been the second time that Hermione has not turned up for her potions lesson after a class with Professor Cruz. It's the second time that she has broken down into a crying mess, because of the things that woman has said to her," he spat angrily and the portraits on the wall shot him angry glances.

"The girl has been through enough, I will not have anyone torture her mentally for some queer and unknown reason."

McGonagall sighed. "Severus, please sit down. Would you like some tea?"

_Hell, she is nearly as bad as Dumbledore and his lemon drops._

"No thank you." He slumped into a chair."What can we do?" he asked the headmistress. "I am afraid of what will happen if she continues to be in Cruz' class."

McGonagall sipped her tea for a moment, lost in thought. "I am sorry, Severus. I don't think there is any way in which I can take Miss Granger out of Defense class. You know it is a compulsory subject."

Snape growled and started to say something when Dumbledore cleared his throat in the corner. The headmistress and the potions master turned their heads simultaneously to look at the portrait. The old headmaster was watching them with a fond expression, and Severus couldn't help but sneer.

"I believe that Professor Cruz actually kicked Miss Granger out of her class this afternoon. If you do it correctly it would be possible to remove the young lady from the class without leaving her any option or reason to want to keep her in there."

"But she will still need to study Defense against the Dark Arts. I understand that she has a lot of knowledge and experience and I know she is an exceptionally bright witch, but there is still no way in which she could pass her NEWT's without being tutored…"

"I'll do it," mumbled Snape and McGonagall jerked her head in his direction, looking stunned.

"But Severus… You are already giving her extra classes; there is no need to feel that you should also teach her DADA. You are not her personal professor. And anyway, you were never very fond of the girl, why this sudden change of heart?"

"It's the right thing to do!" he hissed. "I never said I hated her, but I certainly acted like it, I know that. How did you expect the Dark Lord to react should he have found out that I treated Harry Potter's muggleborn best friend the way a girl of her intelligence deserves? What do you think the students of my house would have thought at the time? In case you have forgotten: I had a role to play. After all, I wasn't always the greasy git of the dungeons."

The headmistress' eyes shimmered behind her glasses. "I'm sorry, Severus. I know it is not my place to question your motives, but it is still surprising to see that you have become so protective of Hermione Granger."

Severus shrugged. "It is the right thing to do," he repeated looking straight into the older witch's eyes.

McGonagall nodded slowly. "It shall be done, then. We will have to execute this very carefully. And we will need to find ourselves a new Defense Professor by the end of the year."

Snape nodded, not noticing all the portraits shooting him curious glances while he slowly let an idea settle into his mind. "I might be able to suggest someone in a while. For now, let me talk to Miss Granger before we inform her and Cruz officially of the change."

He gave a curt nod to the headmistress and another to Albus Dumbledore's portrait before gliding out of the room.

**oxoxoxoxo**

Entering his classroom after dinner, he wasn't surprised to find Hermione bent over a steaming cauldron, her hair a bushy mass around her head.

Smiling, he rustled his robes to alert her to his presence, before leaning over her shoulder.

"Blood replenisher?" he rumbled into her ear, noticing her shiver.

"It is one of my favourite potions to make," she answered softly, moving her stirring rod in a complicated pattern.

He left her to finish her potion and went to call a house elf to bring some food and tea, for she had missed dinner again.

A few minutes later she handed him the bottled potion, already labelled in her neat writing.

He examined it carefully. "This is excellent. Remind me the next time to show you some changes in the stirring pattern so that the blood and the Essence of Nightshade bind together more easily."

He noticed the look of disappointment on her face and tucked a curl behind her ear.

"Hermione, we all need to learn. There is no way you could have known. It took me years to get this potion perfect. For the record, your batch is already of a higher standard than what you can buy in a normal apothecary."

She gave him a shy smile. "Thank you.

He shrugged dismissively and motioned for her to sit and eat.

She rolled her eyes at the sandwiches. "I don't know why you feel the need to keep feeding me," she growled, giving him an irritated look.

Snape simply stared at her. Sighing she gave in and took a bite, knowing full well that she really was hungry after missing dinner and eating hardly anything all day.

"I talked to the headmistress," Severus began carefully and she looked over to him in his own armchair.

"You shouldn't have", she mumbled.

"Hermione, that woman isn't going to get away with what she is doing to you. There is no need for her to add to your pain. You certainly have enough of it without her."

She sighed. "True. So, what did she say?"

"Professor McGonagall and I have come to the agreement that you should no longer attend Professor Cruz' class."

"But I can't just drop DADA! I need it for my NEWT's and if I don't have a teacher…"

"If you would let me finish, you would know that of course you will not just drop Defense," the potions master interjected heatedly, a scowl appearing on his face.

"Since you will no longer attend the regular class I will personally tutor you."

Her eyes widened in surprise. "You? She is never going to allow this! And everyone is going to hate me, when they find out that you are teaching me!"

He raised an eyebrow. "And since when do you care what everyone else thinks?"

She looked stunned. "Well, I don't really…"

"So where's the problem?" he growled.

"It's just that I don't want to be treated different than everyone else. They will think that I receive special treatment, just because I am Hermione Granger, brains of the Golden Trio."

He sighed exasperatedly and pinched the bridge of his nose. He hadn't wanted to tell her just yet, but oh well…

"And what if they were to assume that you are not just being tutored, but training to become the new Professor for Defense against the Dark Arts?"

Hermione looked blankly at the wizard across from her.

"But Cruz is…"

"To hell with Cruz! She will be gone by the end of the year, and McGonagall wants to start looking for a replacement soon. I believe that with the proper training you might be able to break that damn curse on the position and make the first excellent DADA professor we have had in years."

She blushed a bit and raked her hand through her hair. "Well I was actually starting to consider a career in potions…" she mumbled, not daring to look at him. Thankfully that way she didn't see the beaming smile that appeared on his face for a few seconds.

"You can always obtain a mastery in potions as well if you wish, we can see about that at the end of the year. More important now is, how would you feel about becoming a teacher?"

She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to think. "I didn't really think about what I want to do really yet, I just knew that something with potions would probably suit me. Teaching though… Well I am already tutoring a few of the younger students and I quite enjoy it so… I guess I would like to give it a go."

She opened her eyes again, meeting his obsidian gaze and smiling when she noticed the relief on his face.

"You can always opt out if it really doesn't suit you…" he added and got up from his chair to get a cauldron.

"Come on, I haven't shown you a new potion in a while and we might just be able to finish one before it is time for your detention."

Hermione groaned at the thought of that. "I just hope she won't come and check on us today."

Snape chuckled, coming back from the storeroom with his arms full of ingredients.

"My sentiments exactly."


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Hey guys, I'm sorry I took so long to update, but I had a few Problems in real life and I got a bit of writer's block as well. Very annoying. Anyways, here is the new chapter. Hermione has her first DADA class with Snape :D **

**Thanks to my beta Hope for taking the time to read this.**

**Also we've reached the hundredth Review mark and I'm very excited. Thank you for all your support, let me know what you think! Enjoy :) xxx**

* * *

"Hermione, are you finished your essay yet? I really need to see some intelligent work; otherwise I might have to turn my wand on myself. It seems that I have wasted my time yet again on another batch of dunderheads."

She gave a cheerful laugh and got up to walk over to his desk. "As it happens, Professor, I just completed it. Enjoy."

He snorted. "Professor Sprout brought in some murtlap tentacles earlier. They need to be pickled, before we can use them. Prepare them if you don't mind and I should be finished with these by the time you're done."

"Sure."

He caught himself watching her backside as she retreated to the store room. Scowling he stared down at her paper, trying to focus on something else before she caught him.

**oxoxoxoxo**

Later they sat in their armchairs, drinking tea as always.

Feeling bold after he had complimented her work on the tentacles she was about to ask him where he got his tea from, when he started to speak.

"I know you probably have other things to worry about at the moment, thanks to Cruz, but I noticed this morning that you looked very tired. Did you have another nightmare?"

Hermione sighed deeply, wondering how he could always see past her façade. "I did. They have been different recently. Still the same in a way, but remember how I told you there are different versions of them?"

He gave a small nod and the young witch continued.

"Well, over the last few days there was a new… character. Cruz. She isn't doing anything; she just stands there, along with all the other Death Eaters. Last night she was laughing at me."

Severus frowned, wondering if there might be a bit more to those dreams than either of them thought. After all, no one knew where Cruz had been during the war, so obviously her allegiance was unknown. Plus, there were still some Death Eaters left out there. Before he could continue down that line of thought though, Hermione continued to talk.

"I guess it's because of what she's been doing to me. I know it's stupid to say, but I think I'm afraid of her. I don't know what she's planning to do and I don't know why she has a problem with me. I just know that what she says hurts like hell, especially because as a teacher she has power over me and she's using it, so there is nothing I can do. I'm afraid of what will happen if I continue to… defy her."

Snape leaned forward in his chair and waited for her to look at him. Amber met obsidian and seconds later his soft baritone filled the room.

"Hermione, stop worrying about her. We have found a solution and you will never have to go to her class again. If she should come here to observe your detention we will behave as she expects us and there will be nothing she can do. If you continue to let her terrify you, you are giving her what she wants. Instead, you should start to think of a way to tell your friends that you will be training with me to become the new DADA professor."

She blushed and looked into her cup. "I still can't believe I'm going to be a teacher.", she mumbled. "I mean if you had asked me this morning what I was going to do after school I wouldn't have been able to tell you."

Severus tilted his head to the side. "If it helps, I actually think that teaching is the most obvious career choice for you. This way you will be able to continuously learn new things, you can study for masteries, think of ways to improve your classes, everything you want. And there is more than one vast library at your disposal, for all the teachers have personal book stores that you would probably find to be worth a look."

Just as he had hoped her eyes lit up with excitement. "I never realised! Can I have a look at yours?"

He smirked knowingly. "Yes, but only when you have finished your NEWT's. Before that it would only distract you."

The Gryffindor witch pouted a little, but then she suddenly caught up on something else he had said.

"Wait, I thought you couldn't obtain more than one mastery! All the teachers only have the one in their subject."

"Actually, I have three," he stated matter-of-factly.

She gaped at him.

"Stop imitating a fish, you're not very convincing."

Hermione closed her mouth and her cheeks turned a beautiful shade of pink. "Sorry. I just didn't know it was possible."

"If you have the will and the intelligence almost everything is possible, Miss Granger."

She growled and he chuckled.

"What other mastery aside from potions do you have then?"

"Arithmancy and Herbology. I was going for DADA and charms as well, but that was about the time when I started to climb higher in the Death Eater ranks and I doubt the Dark Lord would have appreciated me wasting any more time on studies that he thought more or less… pointless."

Hermione looked at the man before her and felt a sudden rush of anger and sadness at the thought of what Voldemort had done to his life. But if he had gotten past all that so could she.

"Well, you could always pursue them now, if you wanted. But how can you train me in DADA if you do not have a mastery?"

He was actually surprised that it had taken her this long to ask.

"Really, I thought you would have been able to figure that out yourself."

To her surprise, she noticed that his sarcasm didn't sting at all anymore. Rather she wanted to giggle.

"Are you going to tell me or not?"

"The ministry cleared me as a DADA teacher, they had to when I first applied to Dumbledore to become a teacher. You see, to teach it you have to be a trained auror, have a mastery, or be cleared after a special test. I think the only other person to pass with a score close to mine was Remus Lupin. That being said, they were only too happy to also make me a ministry-approved training supervisor. Which is why, under my instruction, you will be able to prepare to sit the mastery exam at the end of the year to become a teacher."

She rewarded his explanation with a wide grin. "That's amazing, Severus."

Their eyes locked for a moment and when she broke away she suddenly found she had another question. "Doesn't it usually take longer to be able to sit a mastery exam?"

The potions master arched an eyebrow and looked at her in that intense way that raised goose bumps on her skin. "Yes, but it doesn't have to. Once I'm through with you, they'll want to hand you your mastery badge before you even finish your exam."

He noticed how she paled a bit at the comment and gave her a reassuring almost-smile.

"It's getting late. You should get some rest; you can't keep those glamours up forever."

She sighed deeply, pushing her hair out of her face. "Believe me, you wouldn't want to see me without them."

Getting up, she picked up her bag and then gave him an apologetic look. "I'm sorry to have pestered you with all those questions."

He chuckled again and Hermione suddenly felt proud that she was making him do it so often recently. It sounded wonderful, deep and warm, and it caused her heart rate to quicken a bit.

He got up to hold the door for her. "Don't be sorry. I am relieved to see you are making a more or less informed decision."

She smiled widely and moved to give him a hug. "Thank you, Severus. For doing all this."

He pulled away slowly, giving her that intense look again. "You are welcome. Oh and Hermione?"

She moved to look up at him again. "Yes?"

"If you feel that everything is coming along a bit too fast for your liking… I can tell you from experience that sometimes we just need to take things as they come."

She met his dark gaze. Suddenly she felt that connection between them again; that hint of something more and her lips tingled with the urge to kiss him.

"Peaceful dreams," he whispered and moved forward to press a soft kiss into her hair.

"Good night," she answered, a blush creeping up her neck once more. Hurrying out of the classroom, she noted that he hadn't escorted her tonight and she felt a slight pang of disappointment. Then again, it wasn't that much past curfew and she really was tired, so she hoped she would be able to catch up on some sleep.

**oxoxoxoxo**

The next morning Hermione was called to the headmistress' office. Snape was nowhere to be seen and she bit her lip nervously, realising that he probably wouldn't be at the meeting.

Indeed he wasn't. Cruz was already inside, sipping a steaming cup of tea. She looked unusually relaxed and for a moment Hermione wondered what McGonagall had told her.

"Ah, good morning, Miss Granger. Would you like a cup of tea?"

"No thank you, Professor."

She sat down, folding her hands in her lap to stop herself from fidgeting.

The headmistress carefully looked at both witches before her and suppressed a sigh.

"It has come to my attention, that there has been another incident in Defence against the Dark Arts class. Seeing that you, Professor Cruz, asked Miss Granger to leave your class I have deemed it necessary to allow said student to study the subject under the guidance of Professor Snape instead."

Cruz frowned as if she wanted to say something, but McGonagall didn't give her a chance.

"It will be in the best interest of everyone for Miss Granger to train on her own. I cannot allow differences between a professor and a single student to disrupt lessons. Furthermore, Miss Granger is a very talented witch and with the private tutoring of Professor Snape she will be able to learn more than she would otherwise be able to. I will not have any more discussions on this subject. Miss Granger will complete the last three weeks of her detention and both of you will avoid each other from now on. Is that understood?"

"Yes, Professor."

"How do you know that she won't behave the same with Professor Snape?"

McGonagall frowned. It was as if that woman tried to insult her abilities to resolve a problem.

"Because Miss Granger has already spent six years in Severus Snape's class without there being a problem like this one. They have had their own differences in the past but have shown that they are capable of maintaining a… professional relationship."

At that she shot Hermione a knowing glance and the young witch blushed. She had thought that the headmistress had been more or less oblivious to the changed relationship between her and Severus, but apparently she had been wrong.

"Well, I still don't understand why everyone is cooing over this girl, but at least I won't have to endure her smart comments anymore," muttered the DADA professor.

"Itana," said McGonagall the hint of a threat in her voice. She looked at the woman across from her for a moment before turning to her favourite cub. "That will be all, Miss Granger. Please report to Professor Snape's office for your DADA class."

Hermione nodded and got up.

"I am sorry if this has caused you an inconvenience, Headmistress, and thank you."

McGonagall smiled. "Not at all, dear, not at all."

The door shut behind her and Professor Cruz went to leave as well.

"A word, please, Itana?"

The blonde frowned at her. "Yes, Headmistress?"

"You recall that your contract with the school is only temporary and therefore limited to this year as of now?"

"Yes?" The professor suddenly had an expression of irrational hope on her face and the headmistress wondered what went on in that woman's head.

"It will not be renewed at the end of the year."

The hope turned into spite almost instantly. "And how are you going to find a replacement? I believe Britain is rather lacking in qualified DADA professors at the moment."

The headmistress allowed herself a small triumphant smile.

"That is why Miss Granger is taking the chance to also train for her Defence against the Dark Arts mastery exam with Professor Snape, so that she may take up the position for the next school year."

"I see," spat Cruz and stormed out of the Headmistress's office.

Albus looked down at Minerva from his portrait and smiled. "Well done, Minerva. There is no way she will be able to fight your decision. However, I believe you might just have released a new wave of trouble on Hermione and Severus."

The headmistress smirked knowingly. "I am sure they will come out of it stronger. Still, I am not sure what to think of them. You know I cannot approve a relationship between a student and a professor."

"You will just have to wait and see how it plays out, my dear," he said sagely, leaning back in his painted chair.

McGonagall sighed. "You're right. Let's just hope they'll take things slow."

**oxoxoxoxo**

Hermione's first class had been Arithmancy. It had been difficult to concentrate on the calculations. Usually they calmed her, but now the only thing she could think of was that she was about to go to her first private class in DADA with Severus. He had been hard on them in their sixth year and although Harry and Ron had constantly complained, they had actually learned a lot. Yet, from what she knew about him and from what he had said last night she was sure that it was going to be more than tough.

Walking down to the dungeons after class something else dawned on her. Between her potions and DADA classes with Severus and her detention she was going to see him a lot. And there wouldn't be a lot of time to worry about her nightmares.

A smile spreading on her face she almost skipped to his office. Maybe now she would have the time to further evaluate that fluttering feeling she got in the pit of her stomach when she was around him. And maybe, she would take the chance and act on it.

**oxoxoxoxo**

Severus looked up from the stack of parchments he was grading when a knock disrupted the silence in his office. McGonagall had dropped by to tell him of her successful meeting with Cruz and he was relieved that she had agreed to allow Hermione to become the new DADA professor, after he suggested it last night.

Now, the curly-haired witch carefully stepped into his office, her eyes wide and her body radiating nervousness. Their eyes met and he suddenly wondered if things were going to change between them now that they would spend even more time in each other's company.

"Now, Miss Granger.", he drawled sarcastically and got up from behind his desk. "There is no need to feel nervous."

The comment earned him a soft growl, a playful sound that made his stomach do a sudden flip. Swallowing he tried to cover up his own unease with more sarcasm.

"Really, I thought you had overcome your phobia of our native dungeon bat."

She rolled her eyes. "I never had one, Professor. But if you please, I actually came here for a DADA class and not an exchange of sarcastic comments and sharp wit."

He gave her an almost-smile. "Your verbal abilities have much improved, Miss Granger. Come on, I am not going to teach you in here, who knows what you could break."

Rolling her eyes again she followed him and soon enough they entered an empty classroom.

Snape turned on his heel to face her, hands behind his back. Looking up at him, she noticed how intimidating he could be, something that she had overlooked during the past few weeks.

"I always believed that Defence against the Dark Arts should mainly be a practical subject and that is what it is going to be for you under my tutoring. You will be assigned essays for homework to improve your research skills and your understanding of both the Dark Arts and the defence against it. Otherwise I will be teaching you new spells, both offensive and defensive ones. You will learn to fight a duel against one person or more and how to cast spells without words or wand. It will be exhausting both physically and magically. You will need a lot of sleep and invigoration potions. I know it might be difficult, but I will be here to work on your nightmares with you and the hard work will be necessary if you want to pass your mastery exam at the end of the year. And before you ask about your NEWT's, they are not my primary focus; because with the knowledge you need to obtain a mastery you will easily pass a mere NEWT exam. Any questions?"

She shook her head, trying not to gawp again and wondering why no one else seemed to realise what a brilliant professor Severus Snape really was.

"We will start with some light dueling, so that I can assess what it is you need to work on most. If you are able you should only use non-verbal spells." There was a hint of a challenge in his voice.

Hermione picked up on the almost-insult immediately and before her Professor knew what was happening to him she shot a silent stunner at him. He repelled it with a flick of his wand, a reflex that was so deeply ingrained after his work as a spy that not even surprise could stop it.

Arching an eyebrow at the little Gryffindor he drawled. "Now, now, that is no proper way to conduct in a duel and you know that."

She gave him a cheeky grin. "I'm sorry. I almost didn't recall your presentation in our second year."

He quirked the corner of his mouth at the memory of sending Gilderoy Lockhart flying on his arse.

"Let us begin," he whispered and pulled his wand in front of him in a fluid motion. Hermione mirrored his stance and looked at him.

They bowed and then turned to walk away from each other.

She turned back on her heel when they were far enough apart, pulling her wand back ready to cast.

Snape was doing the same, his wand held above his head, his face void of expression. He looked dangerous and… incredibly sexy. Blushing, she almost turned away when the first hex came her way and she nearly wasn't able to block it. Forgetting about her momentary distraction she countered with a jinx and soon the room was filled with the sound of spells hitting shields and walls.

She didn't stand a chance against him, though. Hermione had known that he was an experienced fighter, but she had never actually seen him duel before. He was graceful and fast and he knew more spells than she had realized even existed.

Trying to catch her breath after he had hit her with stupefy and then revived her, she felt angry and upset, because she had always believed herself to be an adequate witch at the least. Now she knew that she wasn't more than an amateur in comparison to Severus.

Swallowing hard and biting her lip, she dropped her head to avoid the piercing look he was giving her.

"That was adequate, Miss Granger, well done. We have a lot to work on, but I am confident that it will not be a problem."

He was surprised to see her look up at him through the curtain of her hair with tears in her eyes.

"Don't be nice to me, Severus. You never were before when it came to my classes. That was terrible and you know it. It's a miracle I survived the war."

He frowned and dropped to his knees. "Hermione, what are you talking about? You knew you wouldn't stand a chance against me and how could you? I was a spy and a Death Eater, I practically did this for a living. You are a very talented and powerful witch and with the proper training…"  
He shook his head slowly. "Hermione, you already are the brightest witch of your age and with the proper training you could be the most powerful one. You might not see it yourself at the moment, but there is a potential hidden within you and if you use it right… You could change the world."

She looked at him wide eyed. "Stop mocking me!"

"I am not. I have never been more serious in my life. Why won't you believe me? Why won't you believe in yourself? Do I really need to give you an account of your own achievements over the last few years? Can't you see it?"

She frowned. "I feel so weak…" she whispered. "How could I be powerful compared to Dumbledore, McGonagall or you? I fell like an amateur."

He sighed. "I'll make you a deal. Over the next few weeks I will help you to realise your full potential. And if by the time Christmas comes you are not a worthy opponent for me in a duel I will do everything in my power to make up for my misjudgment. In return you will need to start believing in yourself. You will not fight a duel without believing that you can win. Because only then will you be able to improve."

He placed his hands on her shoulders and moved forward to whisper in her ear. "You can do everything you want, Hermione Granger, you just need to have a little faith."

She swallowed hard and leaned her forehead against his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight for a moment.

For the rest of the class he taught her a few new spells and she was relieved to find that she had actually read about most of them before.

When she was about to leave the room to head to Herbology he stopped her.

"By the end of the week I would like for you to have researched the four elements of spell creation. I expect you to present your results in form of an essay of appropriate length."

She frowned for a moment, because of the unusual wording of the question. Simply accepting that she was now at a different level she gave him a small smile. "Okay. I'll see you for detention."

Snape watched her disappear down the corridor and scowled at her back.

**oxoxoxoxo**

The day had passed quickly and uneventfully and Hermione almost looked forward to her detention, because she had a question to ask Severus on her Herbology essay and she was also hoping to get a start on her DADA assignment.

The door to the potions classroom wasn't closed completely and she rapped softly on it before pushing it open. A smile started to spread across her face when she saw her potions professor with his head bent over an essay and she had already opened her mouth to give a sarcastic comment in the line of him starting to look like the Hunchback of Notre Dame if he kept sitting like that, when she noticed a figure at the back of the room. Almost immediately her face went blank and she carefully cleared her throat, pointedly ignoring the blonde woman.

"Good evening, Professor Snape.", she mumbled with as much dread as she could manage, dropping her bag on the floor next to her preferred desk. It wasn't that difficult for she didn't like the thought of spending an hour with someone she didn't trust sitting behind her. Already she felt her shoulder blades itch and she wished the war hadn't left her as paranoid.

"Miss Granger.", Snape mumbled in reply getting up from behind his desk. "In case you haven't noticed, we have a guest tonight."

Hermione turned around to look at the person in the shadows. "Oh, I'm sorry, Professor Cruz, I didn't see you back there. Good evening." She was surprised at her own politeness.

The DADA professor gave a thin-lipped smile. "Please, pay me no attention. I am merely present to ensure your detention is proceeding the way it should."

Turning back to Snape she was faced with one if his more vicious scowls.

"And what would you like for me to do this evening, Professor?" she asked, unable to stop herself from using a challenging tone.

"Mind your tone, Miss Granger!" he hissed. His eyes were sparking with anger and she was glad that the times where he would act like that towards her on a regular basis were long gone.

"Now, if you would I need you to extract the mucous from those flobberworms and when you are finished you will continue with separating legs and wings from these scarab beetles."

She sighed and nodded, picking up the jar of flobberworms and the empty flask next to it to start her tedious task. She knew that Severus had given her those things to do on purpose to make the detention seem all the more dreadful, but she couldn't help but wonder if he wasn't glad that he didn't have to do it himself. If she were in his place she probably would be.

Time passed and the only sounds in the room were the scratching of Snape's quill and the sound of Hermione separating the various parts of the scarab beetles into different containers.

Suddenly Hermione felt a presence behind her and the muscles in her lower back twitched in warning.

Severus had looked up from the essay he was grading when he heard the soft rustling of Cruz moving around the room. Hermione however had been too absorbed in her work and her own thoughts to notice it and he watched as she want rigid, her wand arm pressing to her side to check that the length of wood was still securely tucked into her sleeve.

He shook his head. How could one be so stupid to sneak up on a veteran? If it had been the wrong person – Moody before he got his magical eye for example – Cruz would have already been hexed. The least she could expect was a wand at her throat. To prevent just that he gave a warning cough and Hermione startled and turned around, luckily without her wand. He could see the tip of it peeking out of the end of her robe though and got up slowly to be able to interfere if necessary.

"Miss Granger, I was just wondering if you feel that the tasks the Professor has bestowed upon you are in any way affecting your view of the incidents in Defence class?" she asked sweetly and Snape frowned. What was this? A bloody survey? 'How strong is your regret of your misdeed after your detention on a scale from 1 to 10?' Ha. It was almost funny. Still, he wished he could enter the woman's mind to find out what exactly she was planning, but however skillful a Legilimens he was, if the woman was only a little bit trained in the Mind Arts she would possibly notice his foray into her thoughts and that was a risk he was not willing to take. Yet.

"Are you asking me if I regret standing up to you?" Hermione asked and he noticed the dangerous spark in her eyes.

"Well…"

"I don't, no. I regret however that you did not understand what I was trying to get across and I regret that I now have to waste valuable time every evening when I could instead be studying."

"Maybe your detentions need to be a little longer then, so that you will actually realise how ridiculous your actions have been."

Hermione frowned and Severus felt her magic bristle when she opened her mouth to answer. Quickly he started to speak himself, before she could give the blonde woman any more reason to torment her.

"Miss Granger is wasting more than enough of her and most of all my time already. There is no need to prolong her detention sessions anymore. I have been put in charge of Miss Granger's punishment because of your direct involvement in the situation as you might recall, so I will also be the one to asses her progress in terms of understanding her mistakes. I would appreciate if you would no longer interfere with my disciplinary actions. I can assure you and so can all other staff members that they are more than sufficient."

Cruz gawped at him for a few seconds, then she blinked and nodded. "If you wish, Severus. I still might come to visit now and again anyway, if you don't mind, to ensure that the punishments meet not only yours but also my impeccable standards."

With that she turned on her heel and dramatically left the room.

Severus growled as soon as the door fell shut and silencing charms had been put up.

"I can't believe the nerve of that woman!" Hermione complained. "Don't you think her behaviour is just becoming more and more odd? Is there anything we can do to find out what she is up to?"

He shook his head in resignation, pushing his hair out of his face. "Not unless we want to risk her discovering that I am trying to prod her mind for information. In the meantime, I will need to teach you the bare minimum of Occlumency so that you will be aware of your own mind. It is vital that we know if she is using Legilimency on you."

The Gryffindor nodded slowly. "But doesn't it take a very long time to learn Occlumency?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yes. But like I said you will learn the bare minimum and I will continue to teach you whenever we have a free minute. It is also very useful for sorting out your memories. You might be able to stow the things troubling you away a little better, but it doesn't mean that you won't have to tackle your problems."

She nodded, a concentrated expression on her face, whilst trying to squash her anger and push away the flattered feeling, that Severus was actually willing to teach her Occlumency.

He helped her finish up the scarab beetles and then turned to her with an almost-smile, after cleaning up their workbench.

"Are there any assignments you need to work on or would you rather start brewing something straightaway?"

"I actually needed to ask you a question for Herbology, if you don't mind. We were discussing the different uses of aconite and how today it is only found in a select number of places rather than growing as far spread as it used to. Professor Sprout mentioned that this is probably due to the fact that Muggle thought it to be a weed and it therefore became extinct in many places by there doing. But I was doing some research in the library and it seems that the disappearance of aconite and the spread of lycanthropy during the eighteenth century are actually correlated. Do you think I could use that for my essay?"

He pulled his brows together indicating that he was thinking about it and then nodded slowly. "If you have enough material to back up your point and lay out your argument very carefully you could. Pull up a draft and let me have a look at it before you write it out in full. Actually, wait, I think I might have a book that would be helpful."

With that he moved to the side of the board and stretched his hand to touch a point behind it. It shimmered and disappeared, revealing a door. He opened it and strode into another room. Curiously she followed him only to see him standing in front of a bookshelf in his office.

"I never knew these were connected!" the curly-haired witch exclaimed.

He smirked at her over his shoulder and pulled out a dusty old tome that he handed to her.

"I hope you didn't also intend to start on your Defence assignment because there is a potion I would like to show you later tonight."

She put her hands on her hips in mock shock. "Now, Professor, that is the first time a teacher has told me not to do my homework. Are you sure you're feeling alright?"

He growled and pushed past her to his desk.

"Don't mock me, Granger, and get on with it."

Giving a little smirk of her own, she went to work.

**oxoxoxoxo**

Later that evening Severus walked up behind her as she stood in front of a bubbling cauldron and took hold of her hands to direct her movements. She had to suppress a shiver as her heartrate quickened. Hermione had missed this, had missed having him close. He was only ever like this when they were brewing or when he was holding her to comfort her. She much preferred this less painful scenario though. Enveloped in his lovely scent of herbs she relaxed into him allowing herself to be guided through the motions of preparing yet another potion.

When they were finished she was relieved that he volunteered to walk her to her rooms once again, because even though she was loathe to admit it she had felt quite uncomfortable walking through the dark castle by herself. It wasn't as if she couldn't defend herself, but she just felt safer with Severus' calm presence next to her and it helped to diminish the paranoid itch between her shoulder blades. On top of that she treasured those tender last moments of their evening when he bid her goodnight. And as much as she wasn't quite ready to act on those fluttering feelings in her stomach, she just needed that one moment every night when she felt that there might be hope for more.

She wasn't disappointed. Standing in the darkness in front of the portrait leading to her rooms was the only time the potions master ever allowed himself to show his affections for the little Gryffindor. Pushing her soft curls behind her ear his fingers lingered at her temple maybe a bit too long and their eyes locked. "Peaceful dreams," he breathed and then turned to leave before she could see the blush rising on his pale cheeks.

**oxoxoxoxo**

Back in his chambers, Severus pulled out a few sheets of fresh parchment as well as ink and quill. Cruz' visit had left him with a sense of dread. He was sick of her playing games with Hermione. He decided that not being able to use Legilimency on her for now wasn't going to stop him from finding out what her problem was. Sending his patronus to Minerva to alert her of what he was doing he started to compose several letters that were send off with some of the school's owls once they were finished. It was past time to do a little background check on Professor Itana Cruz.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Hey guys, I am so so so sorry I took this long to update. Between moving into a new place, having problems with my wifi and generally being really busy with college I just didn't have the chance. I also want to apologise for not replying to most of the reviews, I usually do, but well... They still mean the world to me though, it always makes my day to hear from you! **

**In this chapter Luna finally takes Hermione aside and has a little chat with her, I know some of you have been waiting for that to happen. Also, I expect we will finally meet Ron either in the next chapter or the one after that. I have the scene already worked out and I can't wait to actually post it :) **

**As always I'd like to thank my beta sghope16 for taking out time from studying to correct my grammar etc. **

**Please let me know what you think, enjoy! xxx :)**

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The next morning Hermione's first class was potions, like every Wednesday. They were revising the Shrinking Solution and for the first time she managed to find her calm to brew the way she did when she was on her own or with Severus.

The potions master shot her a look when he noticed her moving around her workstation with more grace than she previously had when she was in class with the others. He felt a wave of pride and turned to the board to hide the quirk of his lips.

Unfortunately he wasn't the only one to notice. It was suddenly obvious to everyone that something about the Gryffindor know-it-all had changed, at least in regards to potions. She eerily reminded them of their very own teacher and they wondered how it was that she suddenly was so much at ease with potions. It almost looked as if she had done nothing else all her life.

Oblivious to the stares and whispers Hermione hummed to herself and continued to add rat spleens, while at the same time chopping daisy roots and watching her cauldron waiting for some barely noticeable sign.

Ernie McMillan nudged his neighbour with his elbow. "Look, I don't think she's even following the instructions in the book!"

The Hufflepuff next to him gazed over to her desk and frowned. "I don't think she is using a book at all!"

Severus looked up from his desk when he heard an almost silent buzz going through his classroom as every single student watched Hermione as she added one last sliced caterpillar to her cauldron. She let the potions simmer for a moment until it turned a deep emerald green. With a flick of her wand she extinguished the flame and went to retrieve a phial to hand up her perfect potion.

Glaring at the other students in his room, Severus arched an eyebrow. "As this is sixth year material you should all be able to create this potion single-handedly. There is no need to watch your classmates. If I catch another one of you that is not looking at their own cauldron I will send you all to Mr. Filch for detention for the next week."

There was a groan of frustration, but everyone did as they were told, now desperately trying to avoid looking at Hermione as she moved to the front of the classroom to hand up the phial.

Severus hardly looked up from the parchment he was grading and she cleared her throat to get his attention. He raised his head, his face calm. "Yes, Miss Granger?"

"May I work on my Defence assignment until the end of class, Professor?"

He looked around, noticing that she was the only one finished by a long shot. Sighing he nodded. "Be discreet."

She gave him a small smile. "Thank you, sir."

He simply inclined his head and went back to grading, wondering how it was possible for the dunderheads to take so much longer than needed for such a simple potion.

Hermione continued her day normally, still oblivious to her fellow students eyeing her suspiciously.

In her DADA class with Severus she practised sending spells at objects that moved with increasing speed. He had considered at first to greet her with a wand in her face to test her reflexes, but had quickly abandoned the idea. They were after all not preparing for war and he didn't know what such an act on his part would do to the young witch, considering her nightmares and trust issues.

Over the next few days Hermione buried herself in her research for her assignment, whilst also juggling with the various other tasks that she was required to complete as a NEWT student. Thus, between those, her DADA practice, and learning to brew increasingly difficult potions in the evenings, she was so tired that even her nightmares were just a fuzz in the background. She woke sweat- and tear-soaked nevertheless, but the problem wasn't at the forefront of her mind any more.

Severus, in the meantime, grew more and more impatient waiting for answers to his inquiries regarding Cruz. He was also conscious of the other students' sudden intent observation of Hermione, but he wasn't quite sure how to bring the little Gryffindor's attention to it.

Friday evening arrived rather quickly. Hermione went back to her room after her detention, because she had promised Ginny and Luna to help them with their Charms study, but she planned on returning to the dungeons afterwards for a bit of late night brewing to calm her mind, that was usually in a frenzy after a busy day of studying.

As she did so at around half past ten, she had the distinct impression that there was someone lurking in the shadows and following her. Looking over her shoulder more than once she clutched her wand tightly, ready to cast if she had to and hurried down to the safety of the potions laboratory.

She didn't tell Severus though, and he assumed that she was just a little wound up, as always, after spending time with the two witches.

They had tea and when he returned from retrieving a book for the curly-haired witch on a particular topic in Arithmancy that had caught her attention he found her fast asleep in her armchair.

Smiling he looked down at her and unwilling to disturb her peaceful slumber, he carefully lifted her into his arms to carry her back to her room.

It was quite a long way, yet he felt comfortable with the warm witch in his arms, who was cuddled into his robes in her unconscious state, a soft smile playing on her lips.

Softly whispering her password that had recently been changed to Centaurea cyanus, the Latin name for Cornflower, he entered her chambers, walking straight through to her bedroom.

He placed her on the soft mattress, removed her shoes and outer robes and pulled the blanket up to her shoulders. Tucking her unruly curls gently behind her ears he bent down to kiss her forehead, his gaze unconsciously lingering on her slightly parted, light pink lips. Swallowing, he shook his head to clear it of cobwebs.

"Peaceful dreams," he whispered, before hurrying back to his own quarters.

In his haste he was unaware of the figures in the shadow that had just witnessed the Head of Slytherin House deliver the sleeping Gryffindor Princess to her rooms in his arms.

**oxoxoxo**

Saturday morning the post arrived and a whole flock of Ministry owls entered the Great Hall. Everyone that had actively played a role in the defeat of Voldemort received a fancy envelope of stiff white paper. Hermione, Ginny and Luna frowned at each other upon having those letters dropped on their plates and at the head table Severus, Minerva, Pomona, Poppy and Filius were doing the same.

It turned out to be an invitation to a formal Ministry Ball as an early celebration of the first Christmas free of the threat of war looming over them.

Ginny seemed quite excited and was already chattering to Luna about dresses and the best places to buy them. Hermione in the meantime felt a pang, because she knew she was expected to go with Ron. Yet, after everything that had happened she really just wanted to tell him it was over. Of course they had agreed to put their relationship on a hiatus, but in truth she knew that there was no way it was going to work between them.

She met Severus for duelling practice in the afternoon. They threw hexes at each other for what seemed like an eternity, moving about all the time, trying to breach each other's defences. It was exhilarating to move about with her wand like that again. Of course, there was no way she would want to go back to last year, but it made her happy to actually use her magic for things other than cleaning and bookmark charms.

Severus raised his wand arm in a fluid motion, magic crackling around him. His eyes glittered dangerously and in that moment he looked like a panther about to launch itself at his prey. Awed she looked at the powerful wizard and suddenly something fell into place. More than just that fleeting connection between them that held the promise of something other than friendship. No, she finally realised that there had never been any need to evaluate that fluttering feeling in her stomach. She realised why she wanted to break things off with Ron, why a relationship between them could never have worked.

Ronald Weasley was not the man she wanted. Hermione wanted Severus Snape. And not just in a sexual way, no. She wanted to be with him, with this powerful, dark, intelligent, snarky wizard. Without even realising it, she had fallen for the potions master. Her potions master.

A powerful hex flying toward her violently ripped her from her thoughts and at the very last second she managed to throw up a shield charm, still staring at the man across from her wide-eyed.

The professor noticed this and lowered his wand, his breathing ragged from fighting for over half an hour.

"Are you okay? Hermione?"

She shook herself and nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. I…" She stared at him, blushing, not knowing what to say. "I just got distracted."

He raised an eyebrow and she blushed even more.

"Then we should work on your concentration."

He motioned towards a chair in the corner and it came sliding over to them.

"Sit," he ordered and she frowned.

"We are going to practice Occlumency." He elaborated, when she kept looking at him blankly.

Sitting down she started to panic. There was no way she could allow him to enter her mind now. He couldn't know how she felt, not yet anyway. She was still his student after all and he would simply push her away if he knew how she felt, because he knew it was inappropriate.

Seeing the panic in her eyes, Severus hunched down in front of her, so they were at eyelevel. Without thinking he placed a hand on her knee and quirked the corner of his mouth.

"Hermione, I do not know what Potter has told you about his Occlumency lessons with me, but I can assure you that yours are not going to be like that in any way. I am not going to hurt you and I have great respect for your privacy. As long as it can be avoided, I will stay away from any memories that are too personal, okay? Trust me, I don't wish to know anything about you that you would not freely share with me."

The bushy haired witch smiled shyly and a beautiful blush appeared on her face. She felt her heart swell with his words. The respect of one Severus Snape was the greatest gift that had ever been bestowed upon her. Carefully, she laid her hand on his and entwined their fingers before squeezing them softly. "Thank you," she said sincerely and his eyes warmed for the fraction of a second with something akin to affection. Then he suddenly extracted his hand from hers and stood up.

"Now that that is settled, we can begin," he announced, straightening his robes. Hermione raised an eyebrow, amused by how quickly he could change from teacher-mode to Severus-mode and back.

"As you know, if used properly, Occlumency can be used to shield your mind from outside influence. For now I will show you how to control your mind properly so you are able to erect walls around it. The first step is the mantra I have taught you to help you calm. You can only gain control over your mind if your thoughts are quietened and do not distract you. Now, if you please, Miss Granger, count to ten."

Their eyes locked and she did as he asked. When he lectured like this he was absolutely mesmerizing. She found herself absorbing every word he said, just as she had always done.

"Breathe.", he commanded. "In. Out. Push all thoughts from your conscience. Make it blank. Now concentrate. Focus on the present until everything else ceases to exist."

He watched as all emotion drained from her face. Her pupils dilated so that her eyes seemed to darken. An air of calm surrounded her and he couldn't help admire her appearance. She looked beautiful.

Clearing his throat he started to pace and continued to lecture.

"You will now organise your thoughts. Your mind is a weapon, in your case a shield, but you cannot use it unless you know it inside out, down to the minutest of details. Every thought, every memory, every feeling must be allocated a certain place in your brain. This way you will not have to look for something before you can hide it."

She tilted her head questioningly. "Where do I place them?"

Snape arched an eyebrow. "It is your mind. The power is yours. Create anything you like."

A sudden smile lit her face, before she closed her eyes, her expression turning blank once more.

Hermione's first thought was to keep her memories in a library. It was the most obvious choice and she needed something that was well organised. Then she had a better idea.

She created a beautiful plane somewhere out in the open with trees all around and grass that felt soft beneath your feet. Every tree grew into a shelf and on those shelves she carefully placed her memories. At first she thought she would never be able to grasp every memory, because in her nineteen years there were rather a lot of them, but soon it became clear that the more she looked the more she found. Automatically she arranged the shelves in a sort of labyrinth. At the very centre she reserved two areas. One contained a huge heavily warded chest made from a dark wood. There were so many locks and chains around it, it seemed impossible to open. In it she had placed her most painful memories, hoping that this way she could prevent them from haunting her. In the other area there was an ornately carved shelf containing her most precious memories. Memories of her parents, memories of growing up. Memories of her and Harry. Memories of her and her friends in general. And lastly, memories of Severus. She smiled fondly looking at it and then slowly withdrew from her memory plane.

Opening her eyes she was met with the Professor's midnight gaze. He had watched her patiently for the past half an hour or so.

"I'm finished," she announced, a little proud. He gave her a wry look.

"I'm surprised you didn't ask more questions."

She blushed and looked down at her knees. "I did do quite a bit of research when you were teaching Harry."

The ex-spy gifted her with a knowing smirk, before continuing his lesson.

"If you already know as much about Occlumency, than maybe we should see how well your knowledge serves you in practice."

Her eyes widened, but this time he did nothing to calm her.

"As your mind is organised now, you must next build walls around it. Walls that I will try to penetrate. You are going to do your best to stop me from doing so."

He gave her a full five minutes to prepare. The young witch sat quietly in her chair, counting to ten to erase all panic from her being.

Severus' deep baritone finally pulled her back to the present.

"Brace yourself," he drawled and pulled his wand. Not bothering with the incantation he flicked it at Hermione. No need to put on a show for her.

He was met with a wall of thorns, interwoven trees and what looked suspiciously like Devil's Snare. Smirking he continued to push against her mental walls. They might be looking frightening, but magic-wise they were nothing more than an invisible barrier that could easily be broken. He had to admit though, that she was doing excellent for her first attempt. Delving in more forcefully the imagined Devil's Snare disappeared and left was a weak, see-through barrier. Her mind lay before him. His breath hitched at the sight of the outdoor library that spanned seemingly endlessly before him. One last push and memories started flying at him from the shelves, blurring the plane in front of him. He could feel her struggling against him as he looked at the familiar faces of his colleagues and students. Listening to mundane conversations between her and Potter he quickly withdrew, focusing himself back on the real world.

Hermione was panting in her chair, her knuckles white as she gripped the armrests. There was a faint sheen of sweat on her forehead and her hair was bushier than usual.

Conjuring a glass of water and handing it to her he gave her an approving look. "That was an excellent first attempt. I am impressed by what you have created in such a short time. However, there is still a long way to go."

She paled a little at the prospect of having her mind invaded again. It felt a lot different compared to the time when he had shared his thoughts with her. Now she could understand why Harry had always been so upset after his lessons with Snape, and she was glad that he was being a lot gentler with her than he had been with her best friend.

He held out his hand for her to make her stand when she had finished her drink. "If you feel up to it, there is a spell I would like to teach you. We will continue with the Occlumency whenever there is time, however, I hope that organising your mind will help to prevent future distractions."

She blushed and nodded, glad that he had not even tried to venture near that central shelf with her memories of him. Quickly focusing on the task at hand she pulled out her wand and allowed him to show her the movements for the mysterious new spell.

They arrived at the Great Hall together for dinner. Hermione felt tired after an afternoon of DADA practice, but she was also starving, which she didn't realise until she looked at the steaming chicken and potatoes in front of her.

Ginny was sitting across from her and gave her a curious look.

"How come you came in with Professor Snape?"

Hermione had to swallow a mouthful of food before she could answer. "DADA class.", she said quickly as her friend started to grow impatient while watching her chew. Ginny raised an eyebrow.

"On a Saturday?"

Hermione shrugged. It was now common knowledge that she was as good as apprenticing with the potions master in DADA and she was relieved that there wasn't a greater uproar about it. Then again everybody had been on her side after what had happened with Cruz.

"There is a lot I need to learn. We just happened to be finished before dinner so we walked together," she answered the original question.

The redhead frowned. "First your potions project and now extra classes for Defence? Hermione, you are spending an awful lot of time together."

Hermione's hair fluffed out as her annoyance grew. Luckily, Luna interfered.

"It must be nice for you, to be around someone that has the same kind of intellect. I take it he is teaching you a lot of things?"

The bushy-haired witch smiled in relief and calmed somewhat. "Yes, Luna, he is. I… As hard as this might be to understand for you, Ginny, I really do enjoy being around him. I always knew he knew a lot of things, but now that he is actually willing to teach me… You have no idea. It's amazing." She smiled widely. It earned her a confused look from the redhead and a bright grin from Luna.

"It's good to see you so happy again, Hermione," she said.

Taken of guard, all Hermione could do, was reach across the table and squeeze the blonde's arm. "Thanks, Luna."

Ginny was still gaping and Hermione sighed. "What is it, Gin?"

"I… er… nothing. It's just… It's so weird that spending time with Snape could make anyone happy."

Hermione bristled a little and frowned. "And why is that so difficult to understand? Severus Snape is an intelligent man who is well able to hold up his end of a conversation that is not about Quidditch."

"But… but he's so rude!"

She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, a habit she had started to copy from Severus. "He is sarcastic, and I will admit that he has a biting wit about him that can sting a lot. However, now that he isn't forced to be mean to me anymore I do quite enjoy his company. And if you cannot understand that, you're just as narrow-minded as Ron."

That shut her up. Ginny loved her brother, but she was well aware that he never looked past the surface of anything. She didn't want to be like that.

Luna watched with a small frown etched between her brows. As much as Ginny didn't want to be like Ron, she too paid a lot of attention to appearances. She for one had never understood why people never took a closer look at things. It was glaringly obvious that the Professor and Hermione were well suited for each other. Sighing, she turned back to her pudding, focusing her attention on the ideas she was collecting for the article she was going to write for the Quibbler this week.

Severus was watching Hermione from the staff table and wondered what was going on. She went from smiling to exasperated and even angry. He noticed the faint shimmer of her magic crackle around her for a second and wondered how it was suddenly so unstable. The young witch was well known for her temper and bossiness, but her magic had always been controlled. Frowning he took a sip of tea and decided to ask her about it later on.

"Speaking of Ron", Ginny started after they had eaten in silence for a while. "Who are you going to take to the Ministry Ball?"

Hermione bit the inside of her cheek to control her annoyance. That really was the last thing she wanted to talk about.

"I don't know. I don't think I even want to go, but I guess I don't really have a choice. I might just go on my own."

"You can't go on your own, 'Mione! And anyway, I thought you and Ron were just taking a break. Maybe, it would be a good time to finish that break?"

Hermione stood abruptly. "Ginny, would you ever listen to yourself? As my friend you should know, that I don't give a damn about if I have a date or not! If there was somebody worth taking I would, but I'm not going to spend the evening with just anyone, just so I don't have to go on my own. And regarding Ronald… I would appreciate if you would stay out of our relationship and let us sort it out in our own time."

With that she twisted on the spot and left the hall.

**oxoxoxoxo**

When she left her rooms a little later to go down to the dungeons, she found Luna waiting patiently in front of her door.

Frowning she stopped, letting the door fall shut behind her. "Luna. What are you doing here?"

Luna smiled. "Hi, Hermione. I was just walking past and I thought I could talk to you for a moment?"

Hermione's frown deepened but she nodded. "Sure."

"Well, like I said earlier, I have noticed that you have grown pretty close with the Professor and I can see that he is making you happy. I'm sure he'll be able to help you face whatever problems you have."

"I don't have-", she started to interrupt, but the Ravenclaw witch cut her off.

"We all have to deal with the things that happened last year in our own way and it's obvious that you have had a lot more trouble than everyone else. But nobody has noticed, because they all see you as a tough war-heroine that is too grown up for her age. I guess though that Professor Snape has seen past the mask you wear for everyone. He sure had his own problems in his time."

The bushy haired witch sighed. Her friend was right.

"What I'm trying to say is; he's good for you. And don't let anyone else tell you any different. Don't let anyone's opinion stop you from spending time with him."

Impulsively Hermione pulled Luna into a hug. It was the kindest thing any of her friends had said to her in a long time.

When they pulled apart, Luna patted her arm. "You know where to find me, if you ever want to talk."

With that she skipped away happily, without giving her a chance to even say 'thank you' and Hermione thought that she might not be the only one that was too grown up for her age.

Shaking her head at Luna's incredible insight, she made her way down to the dungeons for her private potions lesson.

Severus was working on a batch of specialised burn paste when she came in. She tried looking over his shoulder, but she was just that tiny bit too small to see properly. Huffing in frustration, she went to turn away and walk around the desk, but the potions master grabbed her arm without stopping his stirring and pulled her in front of him.

Wrapping one arm around her waist and pulling her close, he placed his chin on her shoulder and continued to work.

Hermione visibly melted into his embrace and watched him brew from the new perspective. He gestured for her to take over the stirring rod while he picked up a bottle of Infusion of Wormwood, adding a drop after every three stirs she made. The mixture turned a bright orange and slowly solidified. He placed the bottle back on the table and softly touched her wrist to signalise for her to stop stirring. They watched in silence as it bubbled lazily and slowly settled in the cauldron.

Severus was highly aware of the young woman in his arms, but he just couldn't take his hands off her. He knew she had broken his defences the very first night he had found her brewing in his lab, but he hadn't realised how badly he wanted her around. After spending half an afternoon duelling with her it was good to just spend some quiet time with her in the lab. He had to supress a sigh when her scent invaded his nostrils. Wanting nothing more than to bury his overly large nose in her soft curls, he instead pulled away from her to scoop up the finished burn paste into a jar for Madam Pomfrey. He met her eyes and noticed the shadow of disappointment in her eyes. As if she had wanted to stay in his arms. At the thought his heart did a huge flip in his chest and he swallowed hard. He really was a lost cause.

Finished with the burn paste, he leaned against the desk, his arms crossed over his chest, looking at her. She was biting her lip, as if contemplating something and he felt compelled to take her back in his arms. But he shouldn't and he wouldn't. Their situation was complicated enough and he was still her teacher, no matter that she was old enough to make her own decisions and no matter that she had told him to stop caring about propriety. He didn't, not really, but there were a few borders he did not dare to cross just yet.

She pointed her chin to the finished burn paste. "How come you need a specialised burn paste?"

He sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose. "A dunderheaded first year Hufflepuff somehow managed to blow up his cure for boils. Nobody has managed to completely ruin that potion since Neville Longbottom and even his attempt wasn't as bad. The dolt got it all over his face and arms. And he had his sleeves rolled up."

Hermione giggled at the incredulous tone in Severus' voice, although she understood the sentiment. She had learned very early that it was wise to keep ones robes on in potions, no matter how bad the heat was if one didn't want somebody else's potion all over their clothes.

Instinctively she reached out and squeezed his arm. He sighed again, but this time it was the sigh of a person that relaxes for the first time that day. Flicking his wand lazily he conjured their two usual armchairs, although he was tempted to go for a sofa instead. So much for not wanting to cross borders.

Handing her a cup of tea, he sat down and waited for her to take a sip before asking her any questions. She closed her eyes for a moment, inhaling the marvelous fragrance.

When she looked up again she noticed he was watching her and promptly blushed. He leaned back and took a sip of his own beverage before giving her an almost smile.

"Care to tell me what had you so riled up at dinner today?"

It was her turn to pinch her nose. "The usual. Ginny to be exact."

Severus frowned. He always thought the youngest Weasley was smart and perceptive enough to not rile up Hermione. Recently she was starting to prove him wrong.

"What did she do to you this time?"

Hermione shook her head. "It was because you and I walked into the Great Hall together. She started to question me on how I was spending so much time with you recently."

He noticed the sad look pass across her face, but didn't dare say anything as he was suddenly overwhelmed by the return of some of his previous self-loathing. Could it be possible that it was him driving a wedge between the young witch and her friends? Could it be that she would still be close to them had she not taken up this strange friendship with him?

"She also tried to interfere in my relationship with Ron. Well, the non-existent one. I intend to break things off with him. I don't think it could ever work between us. Ginny thinks so though and she tried to convince me to take him to the Ministry Ball. But the worst…"

He almost recoiled when she met his gaze and he saw the look of pain and anger in her eyes.

"She mocked me when I told her spending time with you makes me happy."

The potions master felt his breath hitch. Maybe his self-loath was uncalled for?

"Hermione…"

She shook her head, her hands balled to fists at her side. "Why won't she understand? Luna does, but Ginny… She's meant to be my friend and she won't understand… She doesn't even know how much time I really spend with you!"

The potions master pulled her over to him and into his lap, holding her now trembling form close.

"Sshh… I'm so sorry."

She let out a barking laugh that was half muffled in his robes. "It's not your fault they are narrow-minded dunderheads."

He let out a soft chuckle and pressed a kiss into her hair. After a moment he pulled away slightly to look into her eyes. "Spending time with me really makes you happy?"

"Yes.", she answered honestly. There was no more explanation needed. Their eyes locked and she had never wanted to kiss him more than in that moment. Stretching herself upwards she instead kissed his cheek, too afraid of his rejection.

Severus felt his heart beating fast in his chest. He knew this was wrong, he knew he shouldn't be doing this, it was too early, but he couldn't help himself. He couldn't stay away from her. Hermione Granger was irresistible.

Slowly, very slowly, he took her head in his hands and forced her to look at him.

"I promise I will do everything I can to keep you happy, Hermione. You deserve to be happy."

She smiled softly. "Then I will try and do the same for you. If it is in my power, I will make you happy, Severus Snape."

"You already do.", he answered huskily, pressing a lingering kiss to her forehead that held the promise for more. Before anything more could ever happen between them though she needed to sort out her problems and he needed to sort out his very confused feelings.

A single tear ran down her face and he wiped it away with his calloused thumb, before pulling her close to him once more.

Holding her to him, having her close, felt so right it almost physically hurt. Their eyes met when she looked up a moment later and he could see that he was not the only one that wanted to give in to the pull that existed between them, bringing them closer and closer together with each passing day.

Desperately needing to get a bit of distance between them, he pushed some hair behind her ear and gave her an almost smile. "I have another potion to brew. Care to help me?"

She nodded and jumped up from the chair, taking his hand and pulling him up. "What is it?"

"Nothing too difficult. It is a potion that holds similar properties to a bezoar. It will absorb any traces of poison in the body and bind them so they cannot do any more harm. It is a precaution for that imbecilic dunderhead. I still haven't found out what he did to his potion so I have no idea how it will affect him, if it is poisonous or if any of it has even entered his bloodstream."

She nodded. "I haven't ever heard of this potion, will you show me how to make it?"

He smirked. "That's because I created it without giving anyone the recipe."

With that he pulled her in front of him once more. "The procedure is simple enough, but some of the stirring is quite tricky," he mumbled into her ear, causing shivers to run down her spine. Something was starting to form between them and she was almost afraid to see where it was going. Especially because they both tended to forget that they were student and teacher when they were alone.

Once they were finished Hermione turned to him an excited expression on her face. "Severus, this potion is absolutely brilliant!"

He rolled his eyes and dismissed her compliment. "It's not, really. All I did was analyze the properties of bezoars so I could recreate them in a potion."

She growled. "Well I'm glad at least one of us accepts that you are the most brilliant potions master out there."

He chuckled at her annoyance and suddenly remembered what he had meant to ask her all day.

"Hermione, I saw your magic bristle when you got angry earlier. It seems to be very unstable recently. Have you got any idea why that may be?"

She pondered that for a moment. "I don't know. It only ever happens when I get angry. Still, it used to not happen to me. You can ask Harry and Ron, I often got angry with them, but it never caused my magic to do what it does now. Do you think there is anything I can do about it?"

His brow furrowed. "Not much. You will need to reign in your temper as much as you can. Practice your Occlumency, it will help you with that. Otherwise… We will just have to wait and see how it develops."

She nodded slowly. She hadn't really paid any attention to the new way her magic reacted to her feelings, but now that Severus had pointed it out…

"Come," he said suddenly. "It's getting late, I'll walk you back."

Hermione smiled up at him and nodded. She was still kind of embarrassed that she had fallen asleep in his rooms the other night and she didn't really want a repeat performance. Although the thought of him carrying her back to her rooms did make her feel all warm and excited.

As they reached her door she looked up into his obsidian eyes and wished she had the courage to confess her feelings to him. Still, she didn't dare, it wasn't the right time and she was almost sure that if she just waited that connection between them would definitely have them end up as more than just friends.

Severus smoothed her hair behind her ear again and pressed another kiss to her forehead. "Peaceful dreams, Hermione," he rumbled against her skin before turning away quickly.

**oxoxoxoxo**

Twenty minutes later he had delivered the finished potions to the hospital wing and found himself on top of the astronomy tower. Since his encounter with Hermione here, he had stopped dreading the place so much. It had once again become a place where he could stand and think and feel at peace with the world for a little while.

Allowing his thoughts to turn to said Gryffindor witch, he sighed deeply. He knew quite well that he was falling for her even though he didn't like to admit it to himself. It scared him to no end that he was once again losing his heart, although he knew that Hermione was nothing like Lily. He knew that she would never hurt him or abandon him. He also knew by that odd feeling of connection between them that what he felt for the bushy haired woman was a lot different to what he had felt for his childhood friend. All he had to decide now was what he intended to do about it.

The answer rang in his head, a lot louder than the small doubts about age-difference and teacher-student relationship in the back of his mind. He wanted to pursue Hermione Granger. Being around her made him happy, made him feel whole. Being with her felt right. He wanted to be with her. Make her his witch.

The only question that remained was how to go about it slowly and without triggering her buried trust issues. Smiling into the night he turned and walked back to his quarters with the air of a man that had just made an important decision. They were going to figure something out.

* * *

**PS: I'm trying to figure out some sort of term of endearment from Severus for Hermione, something that's special, not the usual stuff like 'love' or 'darling'. If you have any ideas send a message!**


End file.
